View Full Version : sailing away

18th Oct 2001, 18:01
noticed the other thread was getting a tad long.
i was wondering
if i am going to be a sailor, do i need a tattoo? :confused:

Biggles Flies Undone
18th Oct 2001, 18:25
Just do what the girl from Plasmatics did ;)

18th Oct 2001, 18:26
what was that? :confused: :confused: :confused:

18th Oct 2001, 20:30
[Edited out - see below]

[ 19 October 2001: Message edited by: Grainger ]

18th Oct 2001, 20:49

One or two of our female cabin crew will give you few ideas if you ask them nicely

tony draper
18th Oct 2001, 21:54
Dingducky is a vegitarian.
Dingducky does not drink.
Dingducky does not smoke.
Dingducky does not swear.
Dingducky has never been naughty with a chap.
Dingducky should have tattoo saying.


18th Oct 2001, 21:56
Ding Darlin',

Ain't nothing wrong with a good tatoo but, PLEASE make sure you pick a competent artist (i.e., make sure all the words are spelled right)!

18th Oct 2001, 22:08
Forgot to ask Ding,

You planning to "kill two birds with one stone" - so to speak? Model the tatoo AND the undies together?

18th Oct 2001, 22:33
If you were really clever, the undies would be the tattoo. That would solve a problem or two.

Biggles Flies Undone
19th Oct 2001, 12:45
Grainger - what's offensive about that?

19th Oct 2001, 12:56

I notice she was also well adorned with tattoos and accept that that's what you were referring to....

[ 19 October 2001: Message edited by: Grainger ]

19th Oct 2001, 13:10
"Saaaaaaiiiiiiilllllliiiinnnnnnnnggggggggg.......ssssaaaaaiii iiiilllllllllllliiiiiiinnnnnnnggg awwwwwwwaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy.......that's where I wannnnnaaa beeeeeeeeeee" :cool:

Whatever happened to Christopher Cross?

Late 70s, New York, singer-songwriter type bloke??

[ 19 October 2001: Message edited by: swashplate ]

Biggles Flies Undone
19th Oct 2001, 13:51
Sorry, Grainger. I didn't know that - fair call.

I just remember the story of her having a 'W' tattooed on each buttock, so every time she touched her toes......

19th Oct 2001, 14:26
WoW !

That would be a sight....

S'okay Biggs - misunderstanding cleared up.

And all you were thinking of Dings was a butterfly on the shoulder !!

20th Oct 2001, 17:21
actually i think i would quite like a sunflower on my foot :)
but i am worried about how much it would hurt there :eek:

20th Oct 2001, 21:56
Hey Dings:

thought a 'D' on each cheek didn't sound quite your style :o

The sunflower sounds nice - you could always try with a stick-on one first and send us all a piccy....

21st Oct 2001, 04:41
good idea :)
so whats the plan with the sailing now?
how many boats are there? :confused:

21st Oct 2001, 06:52
Well, depends on how many crew members are signing up for the trip.

I know Hug and the Draper and them guys are going up the river to salvage that load of copper.
Don't know if I would go along as a junior crew on that trip. Some cold water diving may be in the future then, with a rock chained to the divers leg.

Can highly recommend TowerDog's pleasure cruise instead: To the tropics with soft breezes, palm trees and island music.
Special deal for nurses....

We will send a christmas card to the crew on the cold water booze cruise, if we remember to do so on Island Time... :D

21st Oct 2001, 07:52
oh you know that i want to be on your crew mr dog :)
pity i am not a nurse :(

tony draper
21st Oct 2001, 13:07
So your expedition is still up and running Mr Tower, err good oh!.
Mr Hug and myself are experiencing great difficulties in chartering a suitable vessel.
Plenty of those wooden things and fiberglass toys , but alas few proper iron ships to be had.
As we are no longer in the running as it were, we would be greatly interested in following your progress on our charts, two old sea dogs following your adventures in order to bring some interest into our dull lives.
So if you would kindly let us know where you will be anchored,so we can send a postcard or the odd parcel of nut cutlets,the odd flagon of carrot juice, we would be very greatful, I would suggest you wait until you have raised most of the gold first, and then just drop us a line so we can share albeit from a distance your good fortune.
Ps, take no notice of any strange iron vessels lurking around your dive area, these are probably just poor fishermen.

21st Oct 2001, 13:12
Draper! I've found one! And a nice supply of 15 lb shot for the forecannon as well! :)

Oh. :eek: Everyone else here too! How nice!

Ummm - draper - can I have your credit card for a few moments? :D

21st Oct 2001, 13:41
oh i just thought of an important consideration
will i be able to access the internet while doing the sailing thing :confused:
i am a ppruneaholic after all :D

21st Oct 2001, 13:49
Aye mates:

The trip is still on.
The choice of material for hull construction shall be fiber reinforced glass: Keyword is low maintenance. While Mr. Draper is busy on his hands and knees knockin rust from the deck of his old and rusty steel vessel, The TowerDog is laying in a hammock strung up on the foredeck, being served vegetarian margaritas by a nude nurse. At the same time the rest of the nurse team is diving for gold and piling it up on deck so TowerDog can admire the treasure from his hammock in the bow.
See how slick this whole deal is going to be?

Aye, Dingy, surely you can go on my boat even without being a nurse. Not a requirement, just an unfair advantage.
(If the expedition don't find no gold immediately, we can send the nurses to shore so as to take employment at the nearest hospital and support the skipper and the vessel.)


tony draper
21st Oct 2001, 14:10
Ah, Mr Hug, Draper doesn't hold with these new fangled thingies such as credit cards.
The jingle of coins in pocket the rustle of notes in wallet, the discrete leather pouch of Krugerrands pushed over the table in a smoke filled bar, is more to Drapers liking, and is much more prudent for tax purposes.
Hire that vessel Mr Hug and ask for a recipt, all accounts will be paid in full, from the bank of Mongolia.

[ 21 October 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]

21st Oct 2001, 16:27
Hug what's this? :eek:
Cold water?
English climes? :eek: :eek:

That's NOT what I signed on for mate!
Please accept Mr Drapers kind offer of funds, but do put them towards chartering something in the geographical neighbourhood of your previous life, pretty please!

And hey; if you insist I'll even squeeze a few bluddy oranges for breakfast every morning; just to make sure that we all live at least as healthily as those on the Veggie Vessel. :D

To be totally on the safe side, I'll even bring a large jar of TowerDog's native panacea.
2 capsules of Cod Liver Oil a day will eliminate the need to ever look another vitamin in the face ;) and Min & myself won't be needing to worry about bodybags and all that anymore! ;)

With the temp hoovering around freezing point here and viz reduced to 10ft in the garden, Messrs Hug & Draper I would be most grateful for a speeded up timetable re. this venture.


Sailor Needing Sunshine

21st Oct 2001, 18:20
flaps, darling, we are NOT going for colder climes. :eek: We are heading for parts tropical. :cool:

We'll have fun in the sun whilst anybody fool enough to sign on with TD's ship has to do all the hard work, with repetitive deep dives risking the bends, serving him drinks and cleaning up after him. When they're ready to mutiny, we shall welcome them aboard (provided they bring the remains of the drink), sink his ship and send him for a long visit to Davy Jones' locker, and we'll all then sail off into the sunset, PiŮa Coladas akimbo!

And dingducky, there was enough left over from draper's Mongolian bank account for a laptop, a satphone and a little retirement nestegg for me... :D

[ 21 October 2001: Message edited by: HugMonster ]

21st Oct 2001, 18:40
Huggie I am greatly assured! :D
But obviously even you need the kinder, gentler influence of a woman to restrain your testosterone induced tendencies towards murder & mayhem. ;)

No we're not gonna incite mutiny!
No we're not gonna sink anyone!
Despite TowerDog's deplorable tendencies towards healthy living and his apalling penchant for female subservience, I do feel that given half a chance, he will mend his ways.

The PiŮa of human kindness Huggie! LOL
That coupled with a nice dose of temptation, some tasty food and booze hardly ever fails to persuade wayward health-nuts and reformed clean-livers. :)

Draper having given the matter some thought, I have come to the conclusion that a "skinny bint" in English does not mean a first class potato like it does in my native language, but rahter anybody not Rubenesque.
Would that be correct??


Skinny Bint Craving Sun

21st Oct 2001, 19:10
Who said anything about inciting mutiny? ;)

And to continue your artistic theme and misquote Tom Stoppard, I get the impression that draper likes his women to look like two Botticellis fighting their way out of a hammock - which could be arranged! :D I've never like "Posh Spice" - she's neither posh nor spicy. In fact, I think "Boiled String Bean" is a rather better nickname for her...

22nd Oct 2001, 02:33
Very fitting for my first post on this site, it will be on a naval topic. Must say, very pleased that the talk is of the high seas rather than dull airspace.

To the point: Read on the other tread "Scandihooligans ..." that an armada was in the planning, but apparently the two ships making up said armada are heading off in rather different directions. As such, I shall be delighted to offer a suitable vessel for this venture. For obvious reasons, it will be for the West Indies part of the venture. You see, I work for this obscenely rich individual who some time ago bought a yacht for dubious (tax evasion) purposes. However, the man has absolutely no knowledge of the sea and no inclination to become a yachtsman. Hence, the yacht is placed at the disposal of key employees and anyone else in the company with saltwater in their vains.

The ship is a beautiful 52' sailing boat, fast yet spacious and a dream to sail. Minimum crew is 3 able bodied seamen and an equal number of lusty women.

There are, however, a few rules before the boat will be added to the fleet.

1) Smoking will be allowed in all areas and at all times.

2) Drinking will be compulsory for all mates once at anchor. Whilst sailing, only the master chief and selected deckhands may drink.

3) No vegetarian food will be allowed within a 3NM distance of the boat.

4) Divers will be asked to do their thing quitly and must under no circumstances interfere with the master's midday nap.

5) Compressors will be banned. If out of oxygen, hold your breath. If out of breath, die with dignity and under no circumstances during the midday nap.

6) Lusty women will be provided. Very easy on this ship, really. Just pull into any old harbour and raise the "Pussy welcome" flag and the ship will soon be crowded with lusty women.

7) There will be no long haul (ie exceeding 4 hours) voyages and the boat will return to port every evening for restaurant runs and pub crawls. Far easier than hiring a capable cook, and anyway we need all available space to store the treasure and (women ...)

8) The foredeck will be adourned by a suitable weapon to fend off any lurking veggies or other pirates. If someone with connections could get their hands on a 20mm CIWS from the USN they've earned a free ticket.

9) Any treasures will be split evenly amonst the crew. Except the master who gets 50% + expenses.

10) Democracy is way overrated, and the ship will be run in accordance with that observation.

That's it really. When do we set off ?

22nd Oct 2001, 06:38
Well, flaps, have unpacked the body bag since we're not going to need that anymore!! Now I see we have another boat to choose from - what's a girl to do??


22nd Oct 2001, 07:12
Aye Min, Flaps and other lusty maidens out there: Don't just jumps ship and go with this new guy. Who is he? Does he have a boat?
Can ya trust a total stranger?

Those are the questions a girl ought to ask herself before she turns away from a sure thing. (TowerDog)

The new guy talks big and he calls himself a naked viking, well maybe he is Tricky Woo or some other frequent flyer on JB that wish he really was a viking capable of great sailing and shagging and such.

So again Ladies, for a good time, stay with TowerDog and the vegetarian treasure hunt.
You will not regret it.
(References available on request) ;)

tony draper
22nd Oct 2001, 13:37
Damm, 52'sailing vessel, when is someone going to show up with a proper ship,Draper has sailed on ships with longer bowspits.
We need a vessel fashioned from stout iron plates, with a proper bridge, winches derricks,a chartroom, a good Doxford engine, a scew ,or at least a paddle wheel.
The sea must have calmed down a lot since Draper time before the mast, if it is safe to venture out the piers in such craft.
Draper has seen waves that such vessels being touted here, would take a week to sail to the crest.
Draper has witness Pacific rollers so high as to have snow at the peak, the ocean bed exposed by the depth of the trough.
Draper has sailed on waves so steep and high that once crested and the ship heading downhill his old vessel achieved speeds of three hundred knotts, and dove hundreds of fathoms beneath the surface at the trough.
These toys are fine for pottering around the coast or the Norfolk Broads, but under no circumstances should they be pointed toward blue water.
Draper recals his voyage ith old Captain Hurricane Harry Haxwell, on the old Southern Harvester, when we sought the Southern Right Whale for profit, the storms so bad and constant even the icebergs were throwing themselves onto the beach for some respite, and the great grey whales ,so distresses by the elements, they queued up at the stern and begged to be dragged aboard and slain, to be rid of their misery.
So cold it was that we had to speak in short sentences, for long utterances froze and fell clatting to the deck plates, before they were completed, the galley boy amused himself by piecing them together it strange ways so as to sound rude words as he thawed them out.
The stewart dragged blocks of dry ice from the meat room for the crew to warm their hands on.
Yes Indeed grim days, at least we had proper ships.

[ 22 October 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]

22nd Oct 2001, 16:05
don't worry babe
i am still with you and the good vege ship :)
please send me the references :D

Tricky Woo
22nd Oct 2001, 16:33

Rest easy, old chap, the last thing that Tricky Woo will ever do is to try and masquerade as a Scandawegian: I'd look daft with a horned helmet on my bonce... I never was into cross-dressing.


22nd Oct 2001, 17:35
Aye Draper, are ya sure about your memory?
I know it was rough back in them good 'ol days, but snow on top of the waves and whales beggin to be slain??
Hmm.....Ya sure?


Dingy: Yeah it will take me a while to find them references, my ex is hiding somewhere up in the mountains in Colorado. She sailed with me for 3 years and loved every minute of it. Just ask me...

Aye Tricky: Cross dressing? Well don't knock it till ya tried it. Heck it may be right up yer alley. :D

22nd Oct 2001, 19:32
she ran for the hills??? :p
that doesn't sound too good! :eek:

22nd Oct 2001, 20:19
How to choose ... how to choose? Well, much as I like vegies and intriguing as Naked Viking's vessel sounds, I think - on balance - I'd like to apply for a place on your boat, Huggy.

However, it's only fair to warn you that I don't exactly qualify for the description of "maiden" and that the sight of me in a bikini would probably be enough to send even the bravest of your crew diving over the side in a desperate attempt to escape.

Having said that ... on the plus side, I'm the best catcher of fresh, succulent fish in the history of the universe and can guarantee a steady supply of the high quality protein your crew is definitely going to need in order to keep their strength up for all the proposed activities.

I'm also very good at applying sunscreen - especially in all those hard-to-reach spots.

22nd Oct 2001, 22:09
Draper under those circumstances even the dragon herself would beg to be slain :eek: and you could aquire instant Georgian sainthood! :)

Min what's a girl to do indeed? As far as I can see, the draper is bent on arctic pursuits of the harshest kind, and TD is planning to run a Veggie Cruise (wo)manned by white slave lasses.
Naked Viking is clearly an imposter; some cunnning Brit attempting to lure innocent maidens to his ship by faking Scandinavian prowess. His spelling is too good, his references to booze glare with their absence, his circumlocution is too refined. Methinks we can disregard this wannabe! :D

Really the choice is not that difficult! ;)
Sun, sea, booze, good food, smokes of various kinds, light diving, stimulating discourse, ample PiŮa's every sunset, and the Captain a Renaissance Man who also unconditionally loves wimin and does not expect us to fetch&carry for him.
Donno bout you girls, but I am in no doubt whatsoever! :cool: :cool:

BlueDiamond Capt'n HM seems to be absent for the moment, but knowing well of his genuine fondeness for females in all their different manifestations, I think I can safely say that you would be warmly welcomed!
And you say you'd be able to get it just right; creaming that always-so-difficult-to-get-at spot between the shoulder blades?? Splendid woman, splendid!
And how about preparing all that lovely fish you will catch? Any good in the galley are you? Not a condition mind, but with my own lack of enthusiasm for cooking chores............
Not sure about Min or Huggie tho........ You 2 any good with the pots and pans.........??

Or shall we just get ourselves a very nice elderly Philipine couple for al that kind of thing??
Yup, that would probably be best.............. ;) ;)


Sun Sun Sun...........

23rd Oct 2001, 04:00
TowerDog, my scandihoovian brother.
Since I'm new to this site and hence our knowledge of each other is limited I shall refrain from being insulted by your remarks concerning my credibility. But let me assure you that it is best compared to the reliability of a Burmaister & Wain diesel. Another fine product of my homeland, if I may add and at the same time kiss Herr Drapers stern by confessing my personal devotion to diesel powered vessels.

However, the boat available for this venture is not of such nature. But more importantly, several studies carried out by yours truely has shown beyond any doubt that a flush decked 52' Swan will attract far more babes than any diesel powered cutter can ever dream off. In my opnion this is of tremendous benefit to the succesful acomplishment of any naval mission.

As above with Herr Dog I will not be offended albeit you are on the verge of ensuing my wrath by proposing that I might be british. As luck would have I've just had a very exotic encounter of horizontal nature, and in the aftermath I find it too disturbing to get upset. But do tell me, are you also of scandihoovian origin ?

Having settled this, let my continue by assuring all parties that "Tradewinds" will depart Antiqua next season with a crew of thirsty party animals seeking to wrestle the fortunes hidden beneath the surface from the claws of Neptun. Whether you will be onboard time and your abilities as a seaman or showgirl will tell.

Jeg vil gaette paa at du er Norsk. Kommer selv fra Danmark men bor i fjern oesten.

[ 23 October 2001: Message edited by: Naked_viking ]

23rd Oct 2001, 06:32
Okay Naked Viking, ya sound convincing, but I will not be the least surprised if ya turn out to be the Draper or the Tricky trying to pull another JB stunt.

The TowerDog however will not be affected by this lie, the maidens will:
Say ya convince 'em all and they buy a ticket to Antigua just to find 'ol Draper waiting with his 'ol rusty steel freighter with chains and shackles for the female crew. No sun bathing, no pinecoladas and no shagging under the stars. (Serves ya well Ladies for not going with TowerDog on his all-included luxury salad and carrot juice cruise to them islands)

If ya however 'r real naked viking, I must give ya a nod and a thumbs up for choice of vessel: I crewed on a Swan 53 two years ago and can testify to the quality of the boat and the pleasure of sailing her.

Hmmm, do ya need a co-captain...?

(With rights to pick and shag maidens on a daily bases of course)

23rd Oct 2001, 09:20

I can assure you that I am neither Herr Draper nor anybody else but my sorry self. And should they linger in our port of embarkation, the 20mm CIWS on the foredeck should be sufficient to convince them to find another target of oppertunity. Otherwise they'll find themselves mighty busy with the emergency repair kits. But let's not start a naval war here even if we do owe the brits a good trashing ref. their bombing of the danish capital in the early 19th century. Nah, this is a pleasure cruise and I'd hate to be firing a gun when time could be much better spent getting drunk and laid, or even working on a tan.

Yes, Swan do build some beauties. Was on Corfu some years back for a major gathering of Swan's big and bigger. It was a gentlemans race, but one entreprenurial guy had hired Paul Cayard to captain his vessel. Didn't go down too well amongst the other owners, but in naval battles all is fair really and in the end he didn't win after all. Belive the biggest Swan their was an astonishing 70 some footer of German register. Guess work estimated the prize around USD 4 -5 million. "Tradewinds" is not of the same caliber, but she is very appealing none the less and for 6 to 8 people she is a dream ! Especially if the other 5-7 are playmates :)

By the way, read on the other tread that you have this idea of scouting possible treasure sites from the air. Now I haven't seen the inside of a Cessna for a very long time and frankly forgot all I ever learned of piston engined poodle jumpers. Furthermore it would have a rather negative impact on the consumption of alcohol, and as such I would very much like to leave this side of the show in your capable hands.

23rd Oct 2001, 10:04
Aye Viking, I am not so good at driving Cessnas around the sky myself. Getting a bit rusty, but I surely could do it for the gold.
(Last time I did the circling at 500 feet to spot wrecks was in 1986. Some treasure hunters rented the plane and hired me to fly it. Yup, we spotted quite a few potential wreck sites..)

The Swan I sailed in 1999 was named "X-Cargo".
Does that name ring a bell? The ship was 10 years old and for sale for $750,000.
A bit out of my league, but after we find the gold, I shall use that Swan for a dink.
(Belive the Brits call it a tender?)

So if ya are real Mr. Naked and have a vessel, and if the TowerDog is for real and also have a ship, hmm, that narrows it down to two boats.
I know Dingducky wants to go with me because I am on the healt kick, and also I qualify for Pax-Dominas favours since I quit smoking.
That gives TowerDog 2 maidens to sail the boat and cook and clean for him. (They shall be nude of course, the bikini ban still stands)

It seems that the nurses have not decided yet, so ya may get the lot of them. Flaps wanna go with Hug, but as far I know, he ain't got no boat.
The maidens seem to shy away from Mr. Drapers style of ship managment and he may be sailing up the river without a crew.
Not a good thing.
No Sir, that it ain't.

Speaking of the Islands, the TowerDog was in St. Maarten yesterday, nice down there, really nice. I shall be back soon, with the ship and a load of mermaids.

23rd Oct 2001, 11:56
Med en Danske i Asia, en Norman i Florida og en Hollender bosatt against all odds i Norge, er det sÝren meg ikke mange ekte Skandinavere har! :D

Kanskje like greit? ;)

I once again propse an Armada; advantages all around. For physical & mental recovery we cocoon with TowerDog on the good ship Floating Veg. For general debauchery we take berth with HugM, and when all the soft living becomes too much, we all muster with The Draper and get a right dose of misery! ;)

After which we can start all over again......... :D :D

tony draper
23rd Oct 2001, 12:47
Difficult to see how a honest Merchantman can slip his moorings and put to sea nowadays seeking a honest cargo of bird sh*t from Naru, or a quarter million tons of Venezualan crude, all these bloody sunday morning fiberglass fripperies, they must be thicker than turds in a privy.
Gone are the days when a merchant ship would be allowed to run them down if they crossed our course,or blow them onto their beam ends with a blast of the foghorn.
Sad times indeed.
Some of them even have the downright impudence to fly the Red Duster at their stern.
Draper has had barnacles hanging off his bilge keel that were larger.
Draper well recals one of these bufoon's dressed up like a Russian Grand Admiral standing on his glorified row boat, shrieking up at the wing of our bridge that he was sail and we were steam and we had to give way to him, tee hee, tee hee, hmmm wonder if he ever managed to make it ashore.

[ 23 October 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]

Biggles Flies Undone
23rd Oct 2001, 17:10
Last time I was in Oshkosh there was a beautifully restored Sunderland/Sandringham moored on the lake. Now that could solve all the problems in one go - and I know who I would vote for as CSD ;) :D

tony draper
23rd Oct 2001, 17:20
You won't get Draper up in one of them heavier than air machines, taint natural, worse than them fiberglass Yots they are. ;)

24th Oct 2001, 02:58
Aye Mr. Draper ya won't make many friends in the yachting community if ya call the yachts glorified row-boats and admit to running them down on the high seas.

Now ya hve no crews for yer trasure hunt and ya aint't got a berth on any yacht in the western hemisphere.

No rum punches and no maidens Mr. Draper.
What is a guy to do?

The Ft. Lauderdale boat show is just around the corner and the TowerDog has been down on his hands and knees scrubbing teak decks on mega yachts to get 'em ready for the show and rich buyers. Must admit to being a slut, selling my services to the highest bidder.

Beatiful yachts and million dollar maidens in town these days.
Perharps I should sell my body to?
What is the going rate???


Such is life on probation pay for a major US airline. Low pay and hard work the first year, then when ya are getting close to the big second year pay checks, some crazy rag-heads hijack 4 planes, set the airline business back 5 years and the junior pilots lose their job.


tony draper
24th Oct 2001, 04:28
PrunePop For obvious reasons, Draper will post this in the admin forum.
Just to let you know that every thing is proceeding according to plan, Draper has examined the badge and there is no way that the average pruner will be able to detect the micro electronics conealed within them, unless they have access to a scanning electron microscope of course, ha ha.
The miniature Theta Wave transmiters are miracles of technology.
I think yours is the most prudent plan, once sufficient badges have been distributed,the badged pruners will be ordered via the subliminal messages on all threads to withdraw just small amounts of cash to allay the suspician of spouses girl friends ect,
The Theta wave emmisions will ensure they have no recollection whatsoever of sending us the cash.
Finaly on omega day they will all be orderd to empty bank accounts cash in stock holdings raid childrens piggy banks ect, and forward it all to the secret post office number.
In a final stroke of genius, they will be ordered to flush the badges down the nearest toilet, strip naked and rush out into the street shouting that they are all envoys from the planet Clarion, this will tend to discredit them with the local constabulary, when they try and tell them a talking badge stole all their money.
Draper looks forward to our next dastardly scheme.

ps, One hopes the sale of badges proceeds apace.

[ 24 October 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]

24th Oct 2001, 05:15
Uh Mr. Draper, meh thinks you spilled the beans: This is not the admin forum.

Now the world knows about your devilish plan and appropriate and prudent action will be taken.
Ya may not sleep good the next 10 years Mr. Draper.

Just because ya are not paranoid does not mean somebody is not out to get ya... :eek:

Aye, mark my words Mr. Draper.......

24th Oct 2001, 12:01
A veritable armada.... :) Does make things easier if they all travel together because then I have the option of changing my female mind as the mood takes me... :)

Is HM a good host, Flaps?? You seem to be on a first name basis, so am hoping you can throw some light on this. And as for Naked-Viking...maybe Ding should go over there, since she's minus her undies.... :)

I see Draper is up to no good underneath it all....I knew there was something amiss with the concrete blocks, and having to sink my fellow countrymen...that's just..well..not on :)

Am very much looking forward to this holiday now....it's looking very promising :)


henry crun
24th Oct 2001, 12:30
Mr Draper: knowing your preference for large iron vessels I might have found just the ship for you.

Browsing the web the other evening I came across something called the RMS Queen Mary, which the owners say is available for hire.

There appears to be ample space for any number of crew.

Unfortunately it is tied up on the west coast of the USA but surely the lure of treasure, even if it is only copper, would be sufficient inducement for them to position it at a port of your choosing.

tony draper
24th Oct 2001, 13:10
Damm, my new scheme has been rumbled, how is one to earn a honest crust.
My copper raising plot has degenerated in to a floating pleasure cruise, by health nuts and nymphomaniacs.
My plan to steal and hold all ladies underwear, and return same after payment of large fee has been scuppered by deranged creatures who apparently steal ladies knickers for pleasure and not gain.
My brilliant scam to brainwash all ppruners has fallen foul of a mistaken posting.
One is in dispair,,never mind, its lottery night.
Ps Mr Crun, said vessel is not a proper ship, more a floating hotel and knocking shop, no self respecting seafarer would ever serve on such a craft,not unless one had a liking for dressing in ladies clothes when off duty, speaking with a lisp and mincing about the quarter deck.

24th Oct 2001, 16:30
min dear i cannot go with the naked_viking as he is into eating animals and i am a vegetarian. thus i must stick to the veggie vessel :D

hmmm if towerdog has the vegetable boat and the naked_viking the animal boat i guess that draper has the mineral boat :p

oh and draper i suspect that you have knowledge of the whereabouts of my missing underwear. i want it back. NOW! :mad:

tony draper
24th Oct 2001, 18:19
I wonder if any of you ladies include Cream Cakes in your boring health food diet, Draper is sitting here with three of them an a plate,in front of him, Strawberry tart, Apple Turnover and a Peach Melba, one doesn't know which to pounce on first, Ahh! decisions decisions. ;)

24th Oct 2001, 18:20
There's an awful lot of quibbling going on here.

I don't particularly care what others think of what makes a decent vessel.

I don't particularly believe in fibreglass. Personally, I like wood. Not bothered about the maintenance either - I don't intend to do it. That's up to the owners.

All I am bothered with is people being free to have a good time on my ship, with plenty of booze, ice, meat if they want it, or not if they don't, sun, suntan oil, flesh as naked as people want, good diving, good sailing, no dishes to be washed up, and a good time ashore.

Anyone even suspected of being a dour scotsman, or a dour anything, will be thrown overboard.

Anyone want to sign up, the rules are simple:-[list=1] Chill out Enjoy yourself Relax See Rule 1[/list=a]
Any problems? ;)

24th Oct 2001, 18:36
Re: the dour scotsman...my ggfather was from Inverness...that doesn't count does it??? I hope not, because I am packed and ready.

Want nothing more than to sit out on the deck, doing little more than reading, drinking, sunbathing, sleeping....that about covers it, doesn't it??? Oh...guess I'll have to add coming out with utter drivel in there somewhere too...

Am easily able to follow those rules therefore - where do I sign?


tony draper
24th Oct 2001, 18:39
A fine vessel has just been put back into seaworthy order in the port of Harlepool.
HMS TRINCOMALEE, she hasn't been to sea or seen action for a while. ;)


[ 24 October 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]

tony draper
24th Oct 2001, 20:03
For those interested, Draper ate the Peach Melba first then the Strawberry Tart,the Apple Turnover will have to wait, Wednesday night is Steak and Mushrooms+large brown farm fresh egg, one must leave room. ;)

25th Oct 2001, 14:43
Looks fine Mr D, but wouldn't a rust chipper be a little underoccupied on such a vessel?

25th Oct 2001, 15:00
So Mr. Draper, which one tasted the best:
The peach melba or the strawberry tart?

Mr Hug: Did ya get my e-mail the other day?
(Subject scuba diving?)

Aye wooden boats are fine in colder climates.
Up North they will last 100 years or more.
In the tropics however life span is limited.
I should know, I had a teak/mahogney yacht in the Virgin Islands. Never again.
The maintenance was too much.
I worked on the boat all the time and had a full time flying job on the side.

Fiberglass is fairly forgiving and can be neglected for long periods of time, my kind of vessel for sure.

The above is also reflected in used boat prices.

Edited by the spelling master

[ 25 October 2001: Message edited by: TowerDog ]

Tricky Woo
25th Oct 2001, 15:23
Hi All,

All this nautical talk has given me a sudden urge to digress... so here it is:

Just been reading a biography of John F Kennedy. Well-well, but wasn't he a rascal?

Just got to the bit where he's knobbing Marilyn Monroe (perfectly understandable) behind Jackie Onassis's back (Tsk tsk). Of course, Jackie Onassis wasn't called Jackie Onassis back then. Nor was she called Jackie Bouvier, Jackie Collins or Jackie Chan. All lies aimed at undermining her credibility as an ardent redecorator of large white houses.

Anyway, it seems that old Marilyn was also having her brains shagged out by Jack's younger brother Bobby Kennedy, which just goes to show that she had as kind a heart as we all thought.

Pity Marilyn died so early, 'cos if she'd lived we'd have all had a go by now.

I wonder who was bonking Jackie then? Did you know she was fluent in three languages? It would have been four, but she was American and therefore couldn't claim English.


25th Oct 2001, 19:32
Well actualy Tricky it was not so much of a digression because having read through the thread it had become obvious to even the most unperceptive observer that all the protagonists of this proposed funfilled and forniculatingly fabulous floating fellowship were all carefully avoiding anything but a passing mention of what was going to be on everybodies mind. 'Who was going to do what to who when?'
The time place and motive had already been established and lust was thick in the air. I must admit that my schedule with the intended twin hulled bouyancy device to be, has been moved forward. Even now I am making plans to visit the factory where my training vessel will be built.
Alas it is of miniscule size, boasts no teak deck, a simple trampoline, and no romm to swing a cat on.( there'll be no flogging on my ship). I feel confident though that I will be able to get in some solid training before the Carribean Carnival sets off to scour the Spanish main for gold.
That old tart devouring seadog Draper seems only comfortable on a vessel that draws nothing less that six fathoms, TowerDog is on the beach holystone in hand scrubbing decks for some gathering of poncy yachts for the rich and famous and the girls are suspiciously regarding the newcomer with a horned helmet and promises of a Swan. Hug Monster seems to have attracted the bulk of the female contingent based on charm alone and is seeking a ship for the enterprise.
I think that all in all Tricky, you in that landlocked spot of green, tucked away in the last valley, round the corner from Tannenbodenalp, should nip down to the laken and put in some appropriate nautical practice, so that you too can join the revelry. An aye aye here and splice the mainbrace there would not go amiss, actualy I daresay you will enjoy splicing the mainbrace, though it does make the head ache in the morning( nothing to do with shoes at all).
Now M.Munroe would have been a pretty good shipmate, snug in a hammock and curves that would have satisfied even Drapers critical eye, sadly she is gone but still the girls that have come forward sound a pretty feching lot.

25th Oct 2001, 22:44
Paterbrat, guess there is a difference between the way men & wimin think after all? I can honestly say that up to reading your post, the thought of doing anything toanybody had not crossed my mind. :p

As Capt HM stated, aims of the cruise are as follows:
1. Chill out
2. Enjoy yourself
3. Relax
4. See Rule 1

Min you're wondering if I can shed any light on Huggie's abilities as a host. Can't say I can, seeing as how every time he and I have met, it has been in a public locale, in the company of a large number of ppruners in various stages of inebriation, and under the auspices of The Great Despot making sure we all behaved in an entirely suitable manner. ;)
What I can vouch for is his ability to provide the best, longest, tightest and most heartwarming hugs in the history og mankind. :)
His taste in tropical shirts is artrocious, but he's generous to a fault when it comes to buying drinks.
Min, don't what it is, but many of the ppruners I've had the good fortune to meet at these weird tribal ceremonies called "Bashes" are special people, and Hug's no exeption.

Minnie my lass, let's do some sweet sailing!

25th Oct 2001, 23:04
Blimey - now I'm blushing! :o

Flaps darling, can I add you to my CV as a referee? Not sure how most Chief Pilots will take it, since there aren't many female CP's, Fleet Managers etc. out there... but you never know! ;)

tony draper
26th Oct 2001, 00:33
Yeh, Jackie Kennedy was well fancied then, bit on the slim side for Draper's taste, but nevertheless one wouldn't have flung her from ones bunk on a cold night.
Most of us really fancied giving Christine Keeler and Mandy Rice Davies a good seeing too, simultaniously of course. ;)

[ 25 October 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]

26th Oct 2001, 03:37
Well, that settles it for me, Flaps. Your description of Huggy's hugs definitely puts every other skipper out of the running. :D

And to answer you earlier question about cooking the fish ... I'm an average cook at the best of times but I do know some lovely ways of preparing the day's catch so I'll volunteer for that too.

Huggy ... send a crew application form immediately please!

26th Oct 2001, 03:47
You sure he's not paying you to say that, Flaps?? At least he has some faults, namely bad taste in clothing but an afternoon's shopping could sort that out...! Hope he doesn't mind being talked about when he's not here...

I have yet to have the pleasure of experiencing a Bash, but I have read (and seen photographic evidence) that alcohol is a pre-requisite... :)

Anyway...I like the rules on HM's ship/boat/dinghy/whatever you call it (am very un-nautical!). And if the company is as you describe, then it will be a very pleasant way to while away the hours, loud shirts or not.

I think the more the merrier, and if Bashes are as you so describe then I suggest that a nautical Bash be organized..sort of a travelling one...instead of one location, you could cover them all...if ppruners won't come to the Bash, the Bash will come to the ppruners... :) Can just see it now.....


26th Oct 2001, 03:50
PS. Could someone please put the champagne on ice, and prepare the streamers and confetti - I am nearly at 100 posts :)


26th Oct 2001, 05:55
i heard that JFK wasn't done with a woman until he'd had her all three ways :eek:

didn't Onassis have a nice boat? :cool:

26th Oct 2001, 07:03
Yes Dingy, he had a nice boat:

For a while the worlds largest yacht at 325 feet. The ships name was "Christina".

Now some Saudi has a bigger personal vessel.

A boat and a ship ain't the same: A boat remains a boat if ya can load it on another "boat". If it is too big to put on another vessel, it becomes a ship.

Think of lifeboat, but not lifeship.
Sailboat vs. Sailingship...(Size matters)

PS. Some of the bar stools on Onassis's yacht
was covered, not with leather, but with the foreskin from a whales penis.
The old man thougt it was a great joke to tell his girlfriends what it really was, then watch them scream and jump off the stools. :rolleyes:

26th Oct 2001, 11:23
I don't think they'd find that funny in Wales.

tony draper
26th Oct 2001, 12:25
Indeed, the diference between boats and ships has taxed the minds of philosophers for years, we were taught if you can row it, its a boat, if you can't is a ship. ;)

26th Oct 2001, 12:52
Flaps you are absolutely right, that men and women process information differently in different parts of their brain is scientific fact and a matter of record.
The mere fact, also on record in both threads, that mention was made of the lack of costume nudity and 'shagging' has absolutely no bearing on that possible activity or otherwise.
:o :rolleyes: ;) :p

I of course retract immediately this quite incorrect assumption of possible unnatural activity on the cruise and hope that none of the other ladies has been embarrased by this rather forward and untoward suggestion.

Hugs shags is out. ;) ;)

[ 26 October 2001: Message edited by: Paterbrat ]

Tricky Woo
26th Oct 2001, 13:06
As Onassis owned the largest private shipping line in the world, I felt that a reference to him would be fully approved by Herr Draper.

True story: a couple of years ago I was walking down a road in Monaco with a pal of mine. As we came round a corner we had a restricted view of the harbour. Said pal started to wax lyrical about a large private yacht that was parked just outside the harbour entrance. I felt that it would be wiser to contain my enthusiasm until I'd seen what else Monaco had to offer.

Tricky Woo: Nah, I reckon it's ok, but no quite to my tastes. A bit small for me.

Pal: What're you talking about? Just look at it! It's sodding HUGE!

Tricky Woo: Hmmm... I've seen bigger...

(Another corner, and we could see the rest of the boats.)

Tricky Woo: Now THAT'S a REAL boat.

Inside the harbour was a boat of such vastness that another large boat hung on the stern derricks. Said dangly boat was much, much larger than the boat that the pal got excited about.

Tricky Woo: I think I'll take that one.

26th Oct 2001, 13:47

OK PAterbrat, I'll admit it: I*m a Dim Bint!
(that's how it's spelled Mr Draper??)
Yes you're bluddy right, mention of same
was made. :o

Unnatural activity though? I fear that your present location has affected your outlook PaterBrat.
While the all best diving I've ever done was out of Jeddah, I'll grant you that it's NOT the Free Living Sun&Sin Capital of the world, and as such you can be forgiven for your erroneous assumption. ;)
Now puhlease listening carefully to me; female bodies are NOT dangerous; a glimpse of bare flesh will NOT make you go blind, sharing a sun-deck or more with a female who is not related to you will NOT in fact cause you to be thrown in jail for the rest of your natural life.(on the outside that is!)

Tsk Tsk, unnatural activity indeed.
Poor man........ :(

Oh and U_R, quietly slipping in here, razzing PJ's homeland and leave again without choosing ships won't do you know!
Not at all! :mad:

Hey Min, U_R's another one of those blokes emminently suitable for whiling away languid hours with............exellent conversation, great love of good food and boy does he know his way around a pint.................... :D

Min Floating Bash Armada(no TowerDog nothing to do with flytende bśsj ;) ) is a BRILLIANT suggestion !!

:D Took a woman's mind to come up with that! :D


26th Oct 2001, 14:11
Flaps: I'm disappointed that you had to ask. I'm with Huggy. Here's to luxury and licence in agreeably warm places.

As for the pints, well a pint of Veuve Clicquot is as good a drink as any.

A boat owning friend of mine gave me excellent advice many years ago. "Boats are wonderful" quoth he "But always use other people's".

26th Oct 2001, 14:37
That reminds me, there used to be (still is?) a Ppruner called Woftam who had a boat and a plane.

"Woftam" stood for "waste of f*cking time and money" :D

[ 26 October 2001: Message edited by: Eric ]

Biggles Flies Undone
26th Oct 2001, 14:43
This all reminds me of a very good piece of advice I was once given:

If it flies, floats or f*cks - lease it!

Had I listened, I would have my 550 Maranello by now :(

26th Oct 2001, 15:29
if you can row it, its a boat, if you can't is a shipUnfortunately, Draper, even this definition is lacking, since a submarine is always referred to as a boat... I'd like to see anyone, goggles on, trying to row a sub... :D

26th Oct 2001, 18:56
Jeeze Flaps, make up your mind girl, you want to or you don't, it's all the same to me. It's only that you appeared to bristle at the very idea. Yup it's definitely permissable here too, when of course Mrs P is over, otherwise it's verbotten. I haven't forgotten how it goes just because of the locality. :)

So Hugs still seems to have all the girls on his intended boat, TowerDogs had a promise of a visit if not at least some of the ladies and Tony's still hanging back.

Tricky's still got massive gin palaces on his mind and as winter approaches the Nothern climes everybody begins dreaming of the easy life near white coral strands.

26th Oct 2001, 19:44
Yeah that's right: Promises is all The TowerDog is getting. Where is them nude pictures that will secure a berth on the Veggie Vessel?

Come on Ladies, don't be shy, if ya wanne go cruising with the Master of the Good Times, ya must show yer ticket first.
If not ya will end up on Hugs party barge, and in the mental state them guys will be in after the pinacolada blender starts spinning, nobody cares about quality control anymore.
Shame shame.

I know Dingy is going with the health crowd, but she needs a few sisters along to uh, share the duties.

Where is all them Aussie nurses that needed a vacation? Ladies, your ship has arrived:
Step aboard and enjoy yerself.

Full speed forward, good times ahead.. ;)

26th Oct 2001, 20:30
If I send you a nude photograph of myself, I fear that your entire crew will immediately jump overboard, preferring the risk of sharks to the certainty of being horrified.

27th Oct 2001, 02:11
Oh my Lord. Thats the second threatening photgraph we've had, easy chaps they'll all be in the sea swimming madly for shore if we get too many more!!!?? :eek:

27th Oct 2001, 13:54
Paterbrat, your concern for my state of mind does you credit Sir! A rare man it is indeed who even tries to find out what goes on between a woman's ears.......... ;)
But rest assured, my mind is made up.
Seem to remember making it up at about age 17 on that particular score in fact, and the decisions arrived at then have stood me in good stead ever since. :D

Biggles, in your case I have to admit to grave confusion though......... :( Here I've been firmly concinced that your motto was:

If it flies, floats or f*cks, insure it!

and all of a sudden now you want us to lease you?? All right mate, if that's what you want.
What's the going rate then?
Mind you, I'll have to talk to Dux, Min and Blue Diamond first of course; no telling what they will be willing to fork out for the pleasure of having you do the fetching, carrying, cooking, dishwashing and such.
Still, in a pinch I can always keep you for my own private amusement, can't I?? :cool:

U_R stop threatening us with unseemly pictorial evidence, I know fine what you look like & we will not be scared off! :D
........humpf..........men.........always focused on looks they are..........no depth to them..............need educating.......limited perspective........as if we would be so callow.....

Now as to the time frame of this venture; i always feel that come februari, I am suicide material due 3 months of shovelling snow already behind me and at least 2 more in the offing, so that particular month would suit me perfectly.
How would this play for the Antipodean Contingent ladies??

27th Oct 2001, 15:30
isn't there also a theory that rivers have boats and seas have ships? :)

tony draper
27th Oct 2001, 15:56
I wouldn't worry to much, 86 posts and we no closer to having a well found vessel underneath us, floating salad bars and two masted knocking shops a plenty.
Draper will hang onto his chart showing the whereabouts of the Peacock throne, this two ton lump of solid, jewel encrusted gold is just lying on the sea bed, waiting for some brave lassies to get a rope on it.
Besides Draper is not sure of the navagational abilities of these chaps, its a doddle finding your way around when your at 30,000 feet you just stick your head out of the window and look.
Looking for Africa?, easy peasy,take off from Heathrow just fly downhill untill there's a lot of blue on your right had side and a large green boot shaped place on your left and thats it,then you just follow the railway lines or something.
At sea level things are different, you cant see very far and Africa doesn't look like a boot from that height.
If we want the Peacock throne we need to find Africa.
Alas one will have to wait. ;)

] IMG]http://www.smilies.nl/bounce/5.gif[/IMG

Oh!****** nothin ever works for me :(

[ 27 October 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]

27th Oct 2001, 16:49

Lots of talk, no picture....

Ya wanna go sailing in February or don't ya?


27th Oct 2001, 17:23
how about a pprune bash on a cruise ship

a QE2 world cruise would be nice :D

27th Oct 2001, 19:46
Towerdog can't seem to remember a picture of YOU anywhere on these pages, but if it's piccies you want, have a look at these. :D

Xmas GatBash 2000 (http://www.pprune.org/cgibin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=50&t=000183&p=1) & same part, different photographer (http://www.pprune.org/cgibin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=50&t=000185&p=1) & Summer GatBash 2001 (http://www.pprune.org/cgibin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=50&t=000297)

Happy now? ;)

27th Oct 2001, 21:14
Well...am definitely signing up now. Just grateful I have yet to go to a Bash, and are therefore, photoless :)

Hug, you look magnificent in that kilt I have to say, and Flaps, pink certainly suits you. Am I going to need a dress and gloves like that? Should I pack the stockings or the stayups?? (!!) Am not sure I'm going to be able to compete with your dress sense tho, Flaps..and stunning looks...and the Sinead O'Conner hairstyle...mine is the complete opposite...oh well :)

Since we have the Party ship (HM), and the Recovery ship (TD), I can see my nursing services may be required on both...perhaps I should just 'float' between the two??

February sounds ideal for this...have marked it on my calendar and am now counting down the days...


27th Oct 2001, 21:22
I'll definitely be in that, Flaps. Great idea. We'll pool our resources, operate a communal slush fund and just lease and re-lease until the cash runs out. After that, we lease ourselves back to the guys until we get all the money back then start all over again!

:D :cool: :D

27th Oct 2001, 22:11
Okay Flaps, nice pictures, ya are on.

(Uh, no long dress onboard, in fact, well ya already knew that.)

Picture of the TowerDog?
Hmm, don't need one because I own the boat..

There is a couple of website on the 'net with pics of my ship. Ya can take a look at it instead.

Welcome aboard.


27th Oct 2001, 22:36
Tell ya what Drape, if ya ever come up with a boat (or vessel, or ship or whatever kind of a deal you want to call it), Iíll offer my services as driver insofar as I believe Iím fairly qualified. Iíve watched ďCaptain RonĒ about ten times and I own my personal eye patch. As a fling-wing driver I get real nervous at 30 feet AGL let alone 30,000 feet so Iím used to looking at things from sea level. Itís been about a week since Iíve run into anything (trees mostly Ė OK, maybe a windmill or two but, thatís over a thirty year period) so the problem with my depth perception isnít getting any worse. I think the only problem I may have would be if we have to stop for directions. Since Iím from Texas, if we have to pull in somewhere and ask, Iíll need someone to be an interpreter because nobody is going to understand a word of what I have to say.

If these qualifications may be of interest to you, you may contact me at any time.


B. Loser

28th Oct 2001, 03:50
The Carnival Cruise gathers pace, piccies are beginning to flash around, no nude ones yet. I sense a restlessness in the crowd who are definitely beginning to prick up their ears.

Winters bearing down, a cold wind blows from the North and sunny seas and the long white coral strand and cool long bedewed glass Mai Tais beckon alluringly.

Paterbrat never in a million years ever knew remotely what went on between any womans ears, simply speechlessly admired from afar.

Golden thrones now being dangled enticingly by Draper as he tries to lure yet more ladies into volunteering for the concrete anklet sychro diving team. They'll have to be a team to get that bastard to the surface.

TowerDog is enticed by the ravishing Velvet and is pushing increasingly desperately the virtues of a healthy lifestyle.

The girls seem to be clumping a bit with mecenary chatter about leasing and releasing, what one wonders, the mind boggles.

HugMonster is resting on his laurels, with a bevy of beauties all clamouring for one of his lurid shirts who's worried, they will probably buy him a boat.

Dingy is anxiously counting posts and chilling the bubbly.

Oh the excitement of it. Pprunemania has them all by the short and curlies, well everyone one has those... hmm possibly not, well I guess they'll get the drift, as he casualy tosses in his latest nautical term. Oh yes I'm brushing up. May not have a boat yet but no excuses

28th Oct 2001, 07:07
Ok...I'm not going to wade back through 90 odd posts (very odd some of them too, I might add....!), but I have to confess to just a little confusion...

Just who is going on which boat, where, with whom and when?? Is Naked-Viking still a contender or has he fallen by the wayside?? Is TD really going to ban all alcohol and make his fledgling sailors eat only rabbit food? Does HM insist on everyone wearing loud Hawaiian shirts, or will the bikini on its own do?? Am I going to be allowed to be incredibly lazy and lie on the deck doing as little as possible?

Like sands through the hourglass, these are the days of our lives...


28th Oct 2001, 11:14
Min, loud shirts are not compulsory. If shirts are worn, they should preferably be loud, however. If you want to wear less, please feel free. If you want to wear half a bikini, I shall not object. ;)

28th Oct 2001, 12:58
Ahhh Hugs, but which half are we talking about ?

28th Oct 2001, 14:05
probably the back half ;) :p

30th Oct 2001, 16:15
Okay Pax, ya are on too.
More pictures ladies, keep 'em coming and hurry up before the LoveBoat is fully booked.

Still waiting to hear from them lusty nurses, don't be afraid sweet things, the Draper ain't sailing on a fiberglass vessel and the TowerDog is almost harmless, ya are safe and in good hands.... :cool:

30th Oct 2001, 16:39
Lusty nurses??? ohhhh...that'd be me!! Sorry, was too busy doing the ironing...

Actually, TD, I have been out on some shopping expeditions, purely for research and reference purposes of course. If I'm going on a cruise, I'm going to need a complete new wardrobe, and since HM seems rather fond of loud shirts, I've been investigating what Mambo are offering this season...

There's a really good one with sprinklers all over it...but I'm not sure if that one may even be a little too loud!! If so, then that will necessitate the purchase of new sunnies...

have already bought the bikini...not sure which 1/2 to leave behind, so I'll bring both just to be on the safe side...

Am leaving the iron at home...so don't ask me to iron any of these shirts!

I've packed my perfume too...so I think I'm almost ready :) Just have to find some good books, and I'll be set :)


30th Oct 2001, 19:30
Aye Min, ya won't have no time to read no books:

Between doing lusty pilots and doing margaritas and sundowners, uh ya need some sleep.

Which part of the bikini to leave home?
To be on the safe side, leave both halfs at home. :D

Pax: No need to bring male nurse. We should have plenty of the female version. but thanks anyway.

(Jeez, what is the next question: Take along some male flight attendants also? And what would them guys be good for? Hmm, don't want to know. Not on my ship. No way. :( )

Aye, this thread is about to be shut down by the bandwith guardians.
Who wants to open up the sequel so we can complete the details and get this here lust and booze cruise sailing in the right direction?

PPRuNe Pop
30th Oct 2001, 20:44
"Bandwidth Guardian"! Interesting title. Wonder if I should pay for it $14 isn't bad I spose. But you are right.

But please, do start another thread on the same subject. This one will stay in view for a good while.

PPRuNe Pop
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