View Full Version : New Tehnology in Afganistan

tony draper
14th Oct 2001, 22:55

15th Oct 2001, 04:31
Verily, Allah works in mysterious ways! http://www.politicalstrikes.com/.images/priceless.jpg :eek:

15th Oct 2001, 20:00
Better watch out, Osama could be right behind you.

Osama is on a roll. (http://www.makempay.com/Pages/ProductInfo.htm#tpaper)

16th Oct 2001, 03:29

16th Oct 2001, 18:15
funny (http://www.liquidgeneration.com/poptoons/binladen.asp)

16th Oct 2001, 20:01
Tonight's Tali-vision:
6.00 G-Had TV. Morning prayers.

8.30 Talitubbies. Talitubbies say "Ah-ah". Dipsy and Tinky-Winky repair a
Stinger missile launcher.

9.00 Shouts of Praise. More prayers.

11.00 Jihad's Army. The Kandhar-on-Sea battalion repulse another attack by
evil, imperialistic, Zionist backed rebels.

12.00 Ready, Steady, Jihad! Celebrities make lethal devices out of everyday

12.30 Panoramadan. The programme reports on Americas attempts to take over
the world.

13.30 Xena: Modestly dressed Housewife. Xena stays at home and does some

14.00 Only Fools and Camels. Dhal-Boy offloads some Chinese rocket
launchers to Hamas.

14.30 Green Peter. The total of Kalashnikovs bought by the milk bottle top
appeal is revealed.

15.00 Madrasah Challenge. Two more Islamic colleges meet. Bambah Kaskhain
asks the questions.'Starter for ten, no praying.'

15.30 I Love 629. A look back at the events of the year, including the
Prophet's entry into Mecca, and the destruction of pagan idols.

16.00 Question Time. Members of the public face questions from political
and religous leaders.

17.00 Koranation Street. Deidre faces execution by stoning for adultery.

17.30 Middle-East Enders. The entire cast is jailed for unislamic

18.00 Holiday. The team go on pilgrimage to Mecca - again !

18.30 Top of the Prophets. Will the Koran be No.1 for the 63,728th week

19.00 Who wants to be a Mujahadin ? Mahmoud Tarran asks the questions. Will
contestants phone a mullah, go "insallah" or ask the Islamic Council?

20.00 FILM: Sharia's Angels. Three burkha-clad sleuths go undercover to
expose an evil scheme to educate women.

21.30 Big Brother. Who will be taken out of the house and executed this

22.30 Shahs in their Eyes. More hopefuls imitate famous destroyers of the

23.30 They think it's Allah over. Quiz culminating in the 'don't feel the
Mullah' round.

00.00 When Imams attack. Amusing footage shot secretly in mosques. The
filmers were also secretly shot.

12.30 a.m. The West Bank Show. Arts programme looking at anti-Israel
graffiti art in the occupied territories.

01.30 Bhuffi the Infidel Slayer.

02.00 A book at bedtime. The Koran. Again.

(Thanks to Nathalie who sent this)

17th Oct 2001, 03:54
A hard earned thirst needs a big cold beer.And the best cold beer is bin.
Bin lager.
You can get it crashing a plane,or looking insane.
Being feared, or growing a beard.
Making rich countries poor, or waging holy war
Making bush mad,or calling jihad
Being an afghan resident,or pissing off a president.
Putting nations in trouble, or making some ruble
Being a fugitive fella, or killing for Allah
You can find it any old how.Matter a fact i got it now.
A hard earned thirst needs a big cold beer.And the best cold beer is bin

Bin Lager

17th Oct 2001, 04:17
My dear Unwell,

That's very, very funny. Pass my thanks on to Natalie also.

17th Oct 2001, 12:17
Q: What do Bin Laden and Hiroshima have in common?
A: Nothing, yet.

Q: How do you play Taliban bingo?
A: B-52...F-16...B-1...

Q: What is the Taliban's national bird?
A: Duck

Q: How is Bin Laden like Fred Flintstone?
A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.

Q: Why does the Iraqi Navy have glass bottom boats?
A: So they can see their Air Force.

Q: What do Osama bin Laden and General Custer have in common?
A: They both want to know where those Tomahawks are coming from!

Q: What's the difference between the Taliban and a bucket of crap?
A: The bucket.

18th Oct 2001, 16:50
Kabul Prime Time Television Schedule

8:00 - "Malcom Giving The Middle Finger"
8:30 - "Bomb Once And Again"
9:00 - "CSI: Can't See Iraq"
9:30 - "Third Rock I Ate Today"
10:00 - "Monday Night Carpet Bombing"

8:00 - "Good Morning Smart Bomb"
8:30 - "When Bad Religions Get Worse"
9:00 - "Survivor"
9:30 - "Who Wants To Be A Terrorist?"
10:00 - "Politically Insane"

8:00 - "Enemies"
8:30 - "Everybody Hates Everybody"
9:00 - "Tali-Tubbies"
9:30 - "Just Nuke Me"
10:00 - "Six Hundred Feet Under"

8:00 - "The West Bank"
8:30 - "De-Face The Nation"
9:00 - "The Osama Factor"
9:30 - "The Moles"
10:00 - "King Of The Tent"

8:00 - "Oppression Island"
8:30 - "Mad-man TV"
9:00 - "As The World Burns"
9:30 - "Win Bin Laden's Money"
10:00 - "The Blood Boat"

Rallye Driver
18th Oct 2001, 18:09
Some more ideas for the TaliTV schedules:

1.00 Tali Time Team - watch Taliban archaeologists demolish the Buddhas of Bamiyan in the two days allowed

3.00 Friday Grandstand - after prayers, see the visiting footballers being flogged for wearing shorts that are too revealing

5.00 Wahabi Neighbours - the twice weekly visit to one of Osama's training camps to see Arab and Pakistani militants being trained for the jihad (Repeat due to production difficulties)

6.00 It's a Knockout - Osama's and Omar's teams tackle the minefields and assault course followed by weekly executions in Kabul Stadium

7.00 Blindish Date - more arranged marriages compered by jovial one-eyed Mullah Omar. Is the female in the burkha sixteen or sixty five - you pays your camels and takes your chance!

8.00 Casualty - live action from Kabul General

8.55 Religious Police 5 - more appeals for help in tracking down Christian missionaries, blasphemers and infidels

9.00 The News at Sunset - After prayers, who's been sent an anthrax parcel today

9.30 Mujahadeen Behaving Badly - unable to get a drink anywhere in Kabul, the lads decide to annoy the neighbours by loosing off their Kalashnikovs at 2 am in the morning

10.30 Sunni Changing Rooms - let the team come in and rearranged the rubble of your house to give it a whole new look

11.00 The Islamic Moral Maze - Scholars discuss weighty issues. This week - should homosexuals be executed by being thrown off tall buildings or by having a wall demolished on top of them?

11.30 Pathans to Glory - late night movie featuring rip roaring tales of suicide attacks against the heretics of the Northern Alliance and their infidel allies

[ 19 October 2001: Message edited by: Rallye Driver ]