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mriya225
28th May 2001, 08:55
Attached is some correspondence which actually occurred between a London hotel's staff and one of its guests. The London hotel involved submitted this to the Sunday Times.


Dear Maid,

Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way.

Thank you,

S. Berman

@&@&@&@&@

Dear Room 635,

I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today which my instructions form the management is to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope this is satisfactory.

Kathy, Relief Maid

@&@&@&@&@

Dear Maid - I hope you are my regular maid.

Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening I found you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet. I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my own bath-sized Dial so I won't need those 6 little Camays which are on the shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing
teeth, etc. Please remove them.

S. Berman



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Dear Mr. Berman,

My day off was last Wed. so the relief maid left 3 hotel soaps which we are instructed by the management. I took the 6 soaps which were in your way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish where your Dial was. I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience. I didn't remove the 3 complementary soaps which are always placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins and which you did not object to when you checked in last Monday. Please let me know if I can be of further assistance. Your regular maid,

Dorothy

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Dear Mr. Berman,

The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this A.M. that you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies for nay past inconvenience. If you have any future complaints please contact me so I can give it my personal attention. Call extension 1108 between 8 AM and 5 PM. Thank you.

Elaine Carmen, Housekeeper

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Dear Miss Carmen,

It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for business at 7:45 AM and don't get back before 5:30 or 6 PM. That's the reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off duty. I asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those little bars of soap. The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check-in today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bathroom shelf. In just 5 days here I have accumulated
24 little bars of soap. Why are you doing this to me?

S. Berman

@&@&@&@&@

Dear Mr. Berman,

Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room and to remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance, please call extension 1108 between 8 AM and 5 PM. Thank you.

Elaine Carmen, Housekeeper

@&@&@&@&@

Dear Mr. Kensedder,

My bath-size Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room including my own bath-size Dial. I came in late last night and had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.

S. Berman

@&@&@&@&@

Dear Mr. Berman,

I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem. I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a room. The situation will be rectified immediately.

Please accept my apologies for this inconvenience.

Martin L. Kensedder, Assistant Manager

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Dear Mrs. Carmen,

Who the hell left 54 little bars of Camay in my room? I came in last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars of Camay. I want my one damn bar of bath-size Dial. Do you realize I have 54 bars of soap here? All I want is my bath-size Dial. Please give me back my bath-size Dial.

S. Berman

@&@&@&@&@

Dear Mr. Berman,

You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them removed. Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing so I personally returned them. The 24 Camays which had been taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily (sic). I don't know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps so she also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays. I don't know where you got the idea this hotel issues bath-size Dial. I was able to locate some bath-size Ivory which I left in your room.

Elaine Carmen, Housekeeper

@&@&@&@&@

Dear Mrs. Carmen,

Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory. As of today I possess: On shelf under medicine cabinet - 18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2. On Kleenex dispenser - 11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3. On bedroom dresser - 1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, 1 stack of 4 hotel-size Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4. Inside medicine cabinet - 14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2. In shower soap dish - 6 Camay, very moist. On northeast corner of tub - 1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used. On northwest corner of tub - 6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3. Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my bedroom window sill is not in use and will make an excellent spot for future soap deliveries. One more item, I have purchased another bar of bath-sized dial which I am keeping in the hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.

S. Berman


@&@&@&@&@




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"You did WHAT"?!

ExSimGuy
28th May 2001, 10:05
Nice one Mriya :)

Now I wonder what I can do to tidy up my bathroom cabinet, with all those little soaps with the names of different hotels, and the bed-side table with all the books of matches (just in case the lighter gives up at 2 a.m.) http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/confused.gif

The big box of pens in the study is useful though http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/tongue.gif

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What goes around . . .
. . often lands better!

OzExpat
28th May 2001, 19:07
Geez, sure hope I'm not booked into THAT place in August! http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/eek.gif Can you imagine my excess baggage bill by the time I leave there, 4 weeks later? http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/eek.gif and double http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/eek.gif

:) :) :)

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Dispela olgeta samting i pekpek bilong bulmakau!

pax domina
28th May 2001, 19:26
Well, Oz - you could always give the extra soap to some of the pax you flew around back when you were in GA. :)

;)

(And by GA, I don't mean the postal abbreviation for the state just north of here!)

ducks for cover

golden_hands
28th May 2001, 23:47
Next time we'll try if it works with the chocolate bars as well!

Eagle18th
29th May 2001, 01:42
I'm a freight dog - what's soap???
:)

gravity victim
29th May 2001, 19:05
I stayed in a great hotel recently, the bathtowels were so fluffy I had trouble getting the lid of my case shut! :)

Slasher
30th May 2001, 15:32
What timing this thread is! Came back from an overnight in Guilin last night. Hotels ok but had to leave a note to the maid when I went out for some Chinese slut-hunting.

Dear Ms maid,
my room toilet cistern is stuck and wont flush. Unfortunatley I could not flush some faeces which has sunk to the bottom of the bowl. Please fix this imediateley before I come back. Apologys to the repair crew for the bowl contents.
Thanks.
Room 244

Reply:

Dear Captan XXXX
No face in toilet much sh!t. Sh!t no gooding nose to repeirmans. Buckat places next to toilet for flush you sh!t. Repeirmans fixing waterer tank sh!t gone. No see faces.
Ms Yu Song Mei
Housemaid

OzExpat
30th May 2001, 16:13
Glad you got THAT sorted out Slash. You've obviously got a talent for that sorta thing! http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/eek.gif

So....... how did the Chinese slut-hunting go? :)

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Dispela olgeta samting i pekpek bilong bulmakau!

mriya225
31st May 2001, 00:10
Slasher,
That's the kind of thing that could only happen to you! :)

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No see faces! ;)

Slasher
31st May 2001, 10:31
The slut-hunting resulted in a big zilch. http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/frown.gif

On the dunny side of things I filled the bucket and flushed away my terds as the maid requested. I then rang the repeirmans and told them its now gooding on the nose. The waterer tank was fixed soon after! :)

PS The maid wondered what faces I saw in the bottom of the dunny. She thought the toilet might have been haunted!

OzExpat
1st Jun 2001, 20:27
The bowl was haunted by Slasher's turds???? Now THAT is s...poo...keee! http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/eek.gif :)

Such a pity about the slut hunting too...

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Dispela olgeta samting i pekpek bilong bulmakau!

RW-1
2nd Jun 2001, 01:10
Sorry to hear you zilched out on the Chinese hunt Slasher.

Perhaps you should start out with a non-moving quarry first to warm up, nothing like a great round of tree hunting ..... :)

Beware of any pooterguiests !

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Marc

[This message has been edited by RW-1 (edited 01 June 2001).]