View Full Version : Underwear

14th Oct 2001, 09:49
I have a problem even more serious than the cutlery that is missing from my little hovel.
I am missing some underwear. It is not good. :(
When I see women in their underwear on television etc they are always wearing matching sets. Its very nice and pretty and all. Of course being the good little consumer that I am, it influenced me so that I would buy matching sets too.
The trouble begins when you lose a part of a set. I am missing a pair of panties. My knickers may have been nicked! So now I have a pretty dark reddish coloured bra that I have nothing to wear with!
I also like buying socks that have pretty pictures on them. I also have some socks missing. Its always seems to be one half of whatever happens to be my favorite pair at the time.
I know that the easy solution would be to buy lots of matching underwear, all the same colour style etc so that it wouldn’t matter if one item went missing. But that would be far too boring for me!
I am left sitting her in just a reddish coloured bra wondering what became of my underwear. Does my creepy flatmate wear it? Does he prance around in it when I am not around? :eek:
Or were they merely victims of the sock gremlins and their cousins the underwear gremlins?
It has been suggested to me that and how they love to make their nest on soft silky underwear. But they are afraid to be greedy and steal the matching set :p
Please help me
And if anyone knows where my missing underwear is
GIVE IT BACK! (preferably clean) :)

14th Oct 2001, 10:23
Ding darling, the disappearance of your undies is indeed a mystery, I deduct that we can rule out your flatmate as a possible suspect as it is well known fact that the men of your country cant play footy are just as bad at cricket and prefer the company of sheep to women (yes even a south pacific princess such as yourself has no effect on them ;) ).

So I’m afraid there can be only one suspect and that is underwear gremlins, I suspect in
this case it is the poofanella's, a ultra radical right wing lesbian gremlin faction
determined to bring society down from within by first steeling our underwear. Your only
defense against this scourge of society is to burn all your underwear and go "commando"
thus cutting of their lines of supply. Good Luck Duck

14th Oct 2001, 15:06
Errmm Ding, do you think the problem might be caused by wind blowing your knickers off into the wild blue yonder?
... off your clothes line of course! :p

tony draper
14th Oct 2001, 15:50
"Interesting case in the Times this morning Holmes"
"Indeed Watson,give me the details."
"Poor young lady been having her,errr, nether garment stolen from her dwelling ,odd garments, mismatched colour, various sizes, strange indeed, Holmes".
"Ha, obvious Watson, we seek a transvestite, kleptomaniac, house breaker and footpad suffering from prothanopia".
"Of course Holmes, but where would we seek such a bounder as you describe".
"I think we need look no further than the driving seat of one of these new fangled flying machines Watson". ;)

[ 14 October 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]

14th Oct 2001, 18:49
I don't believe this story. It's just pants. ;)


Send Clowns
14th Oct 2001, 18:53
You could just go out without any knickers on, DingDucky ;)

14th Oct 2001, 20:08
An alternative solution would be to adopt a uniform approach to underwear ownership i.e all bras and knickers the same colour/pattern. If you need any help choosing, I know a willing volunteer

14th Oct 2001, 21:41
Hey Dings;

Clowns is right - just leave 'em off: all that fresh air can be a very liberating sensation.

I should know: after all, nothing's worn under the kilt :D

14th Oct 2001, 21:55
I for one collect womens underware ( G bangers in particular) I only do this when they are left in my room. I have however been known to kick a good pair under my bed so they wont be found in the morning rush. Where I am going with this is that perhaps I can help match some of your odd pairs with some of my collection!

16th Oct 2001, 18:46
i don't think i could go without my undies
i think i would miss them :(
but it does make me wonder
if a guy goes freeball
what does a woman go? :confused: :D ;)

16th Oct 2001, 19:03
I persuaded my ex wife not to wear any underwear, it used to keep the flies of my sandwiches. :D :D :D

[ 16 October 2001: Message edited by: M.Mouse ]

gravity victim
16th Oct 2001, 22:21
I think she goes freeflap :D

Send Clowns
16th Oct 2001, 22:51
Ding, you have to try going 'without', it is remarkably freeing!

16th Oct 2001, 22:59
Perhaps FlapsForty ought to comment at this stage.... :D


Onan the Clumsy
17th Oct 2001, 03:12
So now I have a pretty dark reddish coloured bra that I have nothing to wear with!

Can I have it then? :cool:

17th Oct 2001, 03:39
I thought Slasher had first pick on all the female apparel that became "available"? :D

17th Oct 2001, 05:27
Am beginning to think there's something in the 'going without' theory....

The wispy-hardly-anything-there-at-all sort of underwear, made of a wee scrap of lacy/silky/ethereal material is disproportionate in cost to the great big bloomers that Granny seems to favour...why is this??

I don't want to have to resort to the latter, but to keep affording the former, esp since they do tend to go AWOL (resolves to do a more thorough room search prior to leaving on future reconnaissance missions), I'm going to have to work more shifts...then I'll be too tired anyway...terrible Catch 22.


Transition Layer
17th Oct 2001, 07:04
Hey Dingducky,

Perhaps you could find some replacement underwear here - http://www.wickedweasel.com

And guys, definitely worth having a look at...for the wife/girlfriend of course. ;)


17th Oct 2001, 07:23
crikey you'd need a brazilian bikini wax to wear those! :eek:
and i didn't see any that matched my bra
maybe i should post a piccy of it ;)

17th Oct 2001, 16:26
I think I've just found the official crew uniform (female version) for the expedition TowerDog and I are putting together... ;)

17th Oct 2001, 22:16

I know some ladies who don't wear their knickers . It is pretty exciting to know that she's only wearing a jeans or dress. So don't worry you're getting more exciting. :cool:

Top Loadie
18th Oct 2001, 03:28
How about being prepared for future "disappearances" and the ensuing manhunt (or should that be undiehunt?) by posting pictures of all your underwear. That way your fellow PPRuNe'rs down route can identify them in an instant. :) (Remember that the underwear in question may be being worn at the time of inspection so you will have to model the garments) :D
Maybe you can issue an official letter that we would show to any tall, blonde...I mean suspicious looking women, authorising us to check their underwear.
Just a thought. I hate to think of you without your underwear..

..okay, so I lied ;)

18th Oct 2001, 03:38

Better still, just post a picture of what you want to wear them on so we can look out for any that might be yours...

(That might work...if it does it might make an old man very happy...sigh)


Top Loadie
18th Oct 2001, 03:57
You'll be off to Ann Summers then, eh? :D :D

Send Clowns
18th Oct 2001, 04:15
How about a photo of the bra with you inside, Ducky?

Top Loadie
18th Oct 2001, 04:21
All those cleverly disguised innuendos and all along we should have just asked you!
Now we'll see if Dings likes the subtle flirting or the neanderthal club over the head... :D :D

18th Oct 2001, 04:44
A subtle man - that is an oxymoron (or is it a tautology?? I can never remember...)

Anyway, Dings, doesn't seem to matter whether you are with the underwear or without, you will keep at least some of them happy either way :)


old cross dresser
18th Oct 2001, 08:26
i am sorry that your panties are missing
i know that i would be upset if my precious silky underwear went missing.
i hope that it turns up soon

20th Oct 2001, 04:40
Tsk Tsk Tsk, Dingducky, you silly thing you. You left them at my place! I finally got around to making the bed, and lo-n-behold, there they were....... Stuck to the ceiling!

Do you want to come-over and pick them up, or shall I deliver?


GTG! :D :D

20th Oct 2001, 08:03
do i know you? :confused: :confused: :confused:

tony draper
20th Oct 2001, 14:16
Hmmm, If knickers and stuff are called underwear.
Why don't they call stuff like shirts
trousers,skirts, hats ect, overwear??hmm?. :(

20th Oct 2001, 15:04
Hi guys..

I think its time for my opinion, I used to wear no panties on the way to work to get me in the mood ;) plus the guys love it!, it makes you quite "checky" though so be careful as i started smiling cheakly to handsom strangers! so be warned......

Indiana Jones
20th Oct 2001, 15:55
Nothing worse than going up the skirt and shes not wearing any knickers but sporting a 'Bin Laden'!

tony draper
20th Oct 2001, 16:00
None of these fripperies would have been necessary had not that scheming bint got that nice early Jewish boy into trouble over a apple.

20th Oct 2001, 20:35
a checky girl sounds ominous, checking what one wonders? now a cheeky one could be either saucy, or exposing some bits of the anatomy that would be pleasing to the eye. So Beckx which is it to be. I suspect the without underwear the cheeky might just be the right choice but we would have to check further to see if it was the right cheek if you know what I mean, nudge nudge.
In the right mood for what? may I be so che... impertinant to ask.

21st Oct 2001, 06:27
ok so i realise that it would be differcult for you to recognise and return my undies if you have no idea what they look like
so here is a piccyclick here (

please return my undies immediately if found :)

21st Oct 2001, 07:41
Where is the rest of the pic Ding?
I tried to scroll down, but aye, no cigar.


21st Oct 2001, 08:37
towerdog sweetie
with my poor little panties missing
if you could scroll down
i would be banned from pprune! ;) :( :eek: :p

21st Oct 2001, 11:54


21st Oct 2001, 13:22

My eyes aren't so good these days. Could you please try again with a 28mm lens? And try standing a little further away from yourself?I did like the colour though. Thank you.


(hehehe!) :D

21st Oct 2001, 14:44
Really nice pic Dings - I think we've found a location for at least one of those tattoos :)

Oh - and how do I clean all this sticky stuff off my keyboard ? :o

21st Oct 2001, 16:02
what do you think i should get tattooed there? :)

The Nr Fairy
21st Oct 2001, 17:02
Ding :

Get a tatoo of the back of a stamp.

21st Oct 2001, 20:58
Anything you like Dingy....

so long as it tastes good ! :p

22nd Oct 2001, 07:16
flavored tattoos
now thats an interesting idea ;) :D

22nd Oct 2001, 08:27
How many licks are your flavored (or should I say 'flavoured' :D ) tattoes good for, Miss dingducky? :p

>edited for sp error<

[ 22 October 2001: Message edited by: AtlPax ]

22nd Oct 2001, 18:24
well i am thinking that i may have to take drastic action in order to find my missing underwear! :(
i may even actually... (big gulp)clean my room!!! :eek:

22nd Oct 2001, 22:45
Nahhhh - easy! No worries, dingduckydear (Ow, my teeth)

Nothing compared to deciding to clean the fridge out, and needing a machete and a shotgun to do so... :eek:

Oh - and best advice anyone can ever give anyone - never ever move either the fridhe or the cooker to see what's behind them... :eek: :eek:

23rd Oct 2001, 03:30
Cleaning the fridge, now here's a useful tip: Turn the power off for a couple of days and then send in the dog to finish the job!! The dog will think all the more of you for the favour!

The dog works well as a pre-wash for plates etc in the dishwasher too!

24th Oct 2001, 07:48
i don't think my undies are in the fridge
but then again i hadn't even thought of looking there :cool:

Travelling Toolbox
24th Oct 2001, 11:29
Come on people. The suspense is killing me!! Just who has got Dings knickers??

Don't tell me the Guv has a new cross dressing habit we haven't been told about? :eek:

Okay so back to the top.

25th Oct 2001, 02:07
Do you have a spare pager attached to your undies? You could page it and then hunt down the sound...

And if it is not there, you likely would get a call from the person who does have them ...

26th Oct 2001, 13:23
Talking of fridges, I used to get my ex-wife to sit naked in the fridge for 30 minutes before I came home.

I used to like something cool to slip into when I arrived.

26th Oct 2001, 14:02

Pager-equipped undies, eh RW ? Kinky....

Mind you, it does suggest an alternative use for those new mobile phones that have a 'vibrating alert'.

Just shove 'em down the front of your shorts and then ring yourself up from a payphone !!

:eek: :p :eek:

26th Oct 2001, 14:18
Time for some lateral thinking people.


If you can't find the undies, why don't you just ditch the bra? It would save a lot of bother (and a room clean!).

Perhaps you could hold a charity auction, and donate the proceeds to all the needy, one legged, orphans in Botswana (or wherever they are crying for help these days :( ) It seems as though you could get some fierce bidding from a few PPRuNe'rs out there! :D ;)

[ 26 October 2001: Message edited by: Flying_Circus. ]

26th Oct 2001, 20:19

I'm in agreement.

Of course heli pilots like myself have found that most women enjoy flying with us, especially when Nr is somewhere between 97 and 101%, it varies for some, but you can tell when you hit a harmonic that is favorable hehe .... :D

Hmmm... ding sans bra .... Ummmm ...

A delightful picture to say the least.

26th Oct 2001, 21:08

Hmmm.... a bra-less dings in the heli with a one-per-rev going on.....

Maybe I won't rush to get those blades re-tracked after all :D :D :D

27th Oct 2001, 02:38
Grainger: Now you're talking. Dingducky could be marketed as an optional (but must have) harmonic vibration sensor.
And to be slightly un-original, "the package" could be called HUMSssS ...Hold Until Mammary's Sh sh sh ..Shake! :eek: Undies optional!


[ 26 October 2001: Message edited by: sprocket ]

28th Oct 2001, 08:19
Hmmm...have never been in a helicopter, but a ride in one does sound...well...potentially interesting!!

Ding, I may have pointed this out before, and forgive me if I have, but you need to question BRL further. There is photographic evidence on the Bash forum of him in Velvet's bra...circumstantial I know, but he does seem to have a predeliction for women's underwear..... :)


Travelling Toolbox
30th Oct 2001, 09:59
RW-1/Grainger Why not a lateral? Would love to see DD's "DD's" doing the two step out of step so to speak :D :D :D :D

31st Oct 2001, 03:56
it is raining again today
i am sure that the bad weather is part of the conspiricy
since some of my underwear is missing, i have to wash the remaining pairs more frequently. but i cannot do washing when it is raining
its a evil plot i tell you! :eek: :eek: :eek:

1st Nov 2001, 00:05
But rinsing should be easy, unless you have that acid rain, etc.

I'm sorry someone took your undies ...


22nd Nov 2001, 05:05
the underwear is still missing

i fear that people do not understand the seriousness of the situation :(

tony draper
22nd Nov 2001, 05:21
Draper notices Miss D, that you are not forthcoming with your location on this globe, but please allow me to assure you that there are many places on this diverse world, where a life sans underwear is the accepted norm.
The Amazonian jungle and Scotland spring to mind, Draper is sure a spirited young lass could make a good life for herself in either of those two places,and would cause her in due course to wonder why she ever bothered with those garment anyway.
Due to dietetry and language difficulties in one of these places, may one suggest perhaps Amazonia may be the more suitable.

[ 22 November 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]

24th Nov 2001, 16:49
an interesting idea mr draper
but i still miss my undies :(

25th Nov 2001, 03:18
Did you look under the bed? Did you look behind the dresser? Have you looked in the sock drawer et al? Have you asked your flat mate? Did you search behind the washing machine?
If the answer is yes to the above and no joy I would say that a snowdropper has nicked them.
So, they are gone.
Get some new pairs and don't hang them to dry outside next time. :)

tony draper
25th Nov 2001, 03:28
Draper did offer to have the sailmaker run you up some stout canvas drawers at one time Miss D.
Had you accepted at the time, they would be worn in by now and lost some of the're rigidity,and it would have been possible to sit down in them. ;)

[ 24 November 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]

25th Nov 2001, 06:18
Try looking in my daughter's car, you never know what you might find in there!!!!!
:D :D :D

Check Wheels
25th Nov 2001, 21:12
dingducky, if you promise just to wear your reddish-coloured bra and nothing else, I'll come over and carry out a thorough search of every nook and cranny we can think of. (cranny - what a strange word - rhymes with ?) :cool:

25th Nov 2001, 21:39
Thank you for sharing, darling.

Take that any which way you like.


26th Nov 2001, 08:46
Rent "The Seven Year Itch" on video.
Miss Munroe has a suggestion of where to find errant underwear when trying to survive a NY summer.
Makes the standing above the grid in a white halter neck dress scene all the more interesting.
PS Where did your namesake go to flight school?

30th Nov 2001, 07:15
Ding, I think you'll find Travelling Toolbox is alleging to have your knickers....says they're rather comfy, too...


Travelling Toolbox
30th Nov 2001, 08:57
:D :D :D :D :D :D ;)

the wizard of auz
30th Nov 2001, 15:13
do you think it possible that they were stolen so some one could cover their hang glider or that a poor family now has a colourfull new tent?.
:eek: :D
whats all this about someone in velvets undies......I was trying for that honour.......MMMMMMM, that means she hasnt got any on coz some one else is wearing em, GOODONYA toolbox :D :D :D

1st Dec 2001, 03:59
I understand that one of the terms for going without underwear, at least for men, is "Going Commando".

Dingducky certainly sounds as if she enjoys being in command?

1st Dec 2001, 06:44
Keep me out of it ok.... ?

1st Dec 2001, 11:34
Big Red 'L' -

Does your post mean you don't want to be in Mins underwear? ;) :confused: :D

Hmmm ... I see your thread just below on "sheep, maybe this explains your post in this thread... :rolleyes: :eek: ;)

dAAvid -

[ 01 December 2001: Message edited by: AA SLF ]

1st Dec 2001, 11:46
Still looking for your drawers ding. Hope you find them before the big freeze. :eek:

Phil E Buster
2nd Dec 2001, 17:34
Ding Ducky
The Boys from 'South Park' would probably blame THE UNDERPANTS GNOMES for your predicament.