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scramjet
27th May 2001, 12:28
Pilots being such a womanising bunch of individual's (well the males anyway, dont know much about the lady pilots), I was wondering whether pick up lines were
a :) actually used?
b :) of any use, other than a laugh?
c :) got u laid?

Personally Ive never used them, having generally fortified myself with some dutch courage, walking over and saying "hello" has seemed to work ok so far.

Anyway here are some to get started

"Do you mind if we just talk about how beautiful you are?"

"Give me ten minutes of your time and I could be yours for a lifetime"

"Your Dad must have been a theif to have stolen the stars out of the sky and put them in your eyes"

"This must be your lucky day, Im single"

"I seem to have lost my dog, Do you think you could help me find it in this motel?"

Ok their getting worse, now its your turn.....

Avgas100
27th May 2001, 12:40
Is that a tree growing on top of your head, cause you look like a good root!!

Excited1
27th May 2001, 12:54
I tend not to use them too often myself, however that seems to be directly proportional to the amount of alcohol I happen to be consuming at the time.....

a) They get used
b) Always good for a laugh
c) Very rarely work

Those that have worked:

"Do you sleep on your stomach .......Can I??"

" If I said you had a sexy body, would you hold it against me?"

Only try this on a girl who you know has been looking at you with that 'I want to be yours look'...

Look at her until she stares back...call her over using only one finger (logically, use the one next to your thumb!)... IF she comes over....say "I made you come here with just one finger, imagine what I can do with two".
This one will usually work...

Those that don't work and will make you duck!

"Get on your knees and smile like a donut"

"Why don`t you come here sit on my lap and we will talk about the first thing that pops up."

" Excuse me, I'm sorry but I can't help but notice how much you look like my first wife, can I ask you your name.
("How many times have you been married?)
Never."

My Favorite.......

"Nice shoes.....Wanna F#ck?"

Good Luck to those whom are brave or stupid enough to use any of these.....

Eagle18th
27th May 2001, 13:52
A mate of mine once used the following,
"It sounds like you're from Liverpool, fancy a f*ck?"...
And the two of them have now been happy together for 15 years.

Another friend of Greek extraction frequently used...
"You're a beautiful girl, have you got any Greek in you?"
Reply was normally "No", to which he would say, "Do you want some?"
Never knew him to have much success though.

Gerund
27th May 2001, 14:06
Surprisingly, "Fancy a shag?" works remarkably well!!

Say it in a lighthearted way, hold her gaze as her eyes widen and then laugh, and say "only joking". She'll laugh, usually, and then you say "well, maybe later", and laugh again.

If she says, "in your dreams" with a smile, instead of "piss off", you know you're in. Then on to the pre-shag drinks and conversation.

This line works best with someone who you have met before, albeit briefly. So, a good one for the hosties. Just walk into the hotel bar, walk straight over and say it!!

Believe me - this works!! If you haven't tried it, have a go.

Two caveats:

1) You have got to do it with complete confidence. No shy mumblings or shifty eyes, or they'll think you're a pervert.

2) I have never tried it on someone I have never met briefly, or been working with, before. If you try it completely cold, on your own head and crotch be it!


[This message has been edited by Gerund (edited 27 May 2001).]

Big Red ' L '
27th May 2001, 14:33
"Can i buy you a drink or do you just want the money......?"

Guy: "Would you like to dance?"
Girl: "I wouldn't dance with you."
Guy: "I'm sorry, you must have misheard me. I said you look fat in
that skirt

To be used to the uglier of two girls:
Guy: "Do you want to dance?"
Minger: "Yes I do."
Guy "Go on then, off you go, I want to talk to your mate."

Everyone a winner.........




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Its not the fall that kills you...Its the sudden stop.....

Excited1
27th May 2001, 14:40
A couple more that have worked for me, and even more that have not!!!

"Cold out isn't it? (staring at breasts)"

"Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) 'because I could
see myself in your pants'

"Excuse me, beautiful girl, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself."

"True, there are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to catch and mount back at my place."

"Do you know the difference between a sandwich and a blowjob? No! Well in that case, Can I invite you to lunch?

"Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too. "

"If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question? "

"Should I call you for breakfast or will you like cook it for me? "

"I can make you feel like I've never had sex before"

Best of Luck.........

Natterjack
27th May 2001, 16:18
LOL great replies everyone. Mine's a little mundane in contrast to the above pick-up lines, but it does occasionally nevertheless get me what I require. Please do remember that I have generally consumed excessive amounts of beer at this stage, which frequently results in my being misheard the first time.

Me: "Wanna dance?"

Girl: "Say again?"

Me: "Wanna dance?"

Girl: "What's that?"

Me: "Wanna... oh for ****s sake"

Girl: "You're asking me to dance?"

Me: "Umm, yeah (gonna regret this in the morning, but nevermind. Let's face it, she isn't exactly good-looking)"

Girl: "Hmm... I'm umm... I've got a boyfriend"

Me: "So? Oh, ok then. Next... lol"

If they say no from now on or make up some unlikely excuse, I'll incorporate BRL's "you look fat in this skirt" superb line into my speech.


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I spend most of my money on beer and women; the rest I just waste.

[This message has been edited by Natterjack (edited 27 May 2001).]

Turbofan
27th May 2001, 17:44
Your parents must be retarded, 'cos you sure are special...


It doesn't suck itself honey!

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I'm an animal lover.
I'm a member of P.E.T.A.
People Eating Tasty Animals

drop bags bar
27th May 2001, 18:44
Forget pick-up lines, they just don't work I've got a much simpler and time proven formula:

GO UGLY EARLY AND AVOID THE RUSH! :rolleyes

Just remember never go for the ugliest girl in the room she knows what you're up to and will give you as much S**T as the best looking so go for the second ugliest woman 'cause she thinks to her self "he's not talking to me becuase I'm the ugliest one in the room, look at that dog over their!!!"

Checkboard
27th May 2001, 20:48
Big Red L the line is: "I said YOU LOOK FAT IN THOSE PANTS !"

(See - it rhymes, which is the whole point! :))

How about:
M:"Do you masturbate with these two fingers?"
(Holding up first and second finger)
F:"None of your business!"
M:"Well - you should!"
F:"Why"
M:"Because they are mine!" :)

Flap Sup
28th May 2001, 00:21
Tried a few oneliners myself.
One that didn't work was:
Me: Fance a pizza and a shag?
Her: Fock off!!!!
Me: What?? U don't like pizza??

One I haven't had the nerve to try:
Me: U don't sweat much for a fat chick!
I doubt it would work with anyone.

One that did work (though I don't know why):
Me: I love you
Her: You don't even know me!!
Me: Well lets change that! Can I buy you a beer while we get to know each other??

Happy hunting
FS

fryingeggs
28th May 2001, 06:31
how bout these,

the second one worked, well, she actually pi#$ed herself laughing then we somehow stroke up a conversation.

1. I saw u looking at me from across the room, I'll give u a minute to catch your breath.

2.
M: Do u like children?
(hoping she says yes)
F: Yes!
M: How bout going halves on one.?

3. Walk up to a woman, lick your finger and wipe it onto her top, then say:
"how bout we go back to my place and get you out of your wet clothes?!"

fe

[This message has been edited by fryingeggs (edited 28 May 2001).]

Excited1
28th May 2001, 12:45
A few more for those after a lager injection, that can't help but harass skirt....

As you walk by, turn around and say: Excuse me, did you just touch my ass? No. Bugger!

I'm going to have sex with you tonight no matter what so you might as well be there.

You have been very naughty! Go to my room!

There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you.

Excuse me, but I DO think it's time we met.

Be unique and different, say yes.

You make me so nervous and flustered, I've completely forgotten my standard pick-up line.

I lost my phone number. Can I borrow yours?

What is a slutty girl like you doing in a classy place like this? OOPS! I mean, what is nice girl like you doing in a dump like this? (Phew)

He : Hey Baby ... Wanna dance?
She : No.
He : Oh, C'mon! Lower you're standards a little. I did...

He : Hey, Stop!
She : What?
He : You're undressing me with your eyes... I know you're doing it. STOP!

Best of Luck http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/angel3.gif

Feeton Terrafirma
28th May 2001, 15:11
I haven't used these for a few years, but......

I take size 16 shoes. Do you know what that means?

Excuse me, I am hoping you can help me with my problem, you see, I'm a virgin.


My mate was trying to tell me that your boobs are all floppy. I'm sure he's wrong, but I don't know how to prove it.

All of these have worked at various times. Good luck.

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I'm not a PPRuNe addict. (just need one more post)

Pielander
28th May 2001, 17:32
I haven't had the grapefruits to try this one yet, but:

M: Do you like poultry?

F: Yes.

M: Well suck my c0ck - It's fowl!

Pie

HomerSimpson
28th May 2001, 18:09
I'll test these out this weekend.
If just for science, to see how the experiment will work.

A) Will I pull?
B) How many times my face gets slapped!

Somehow, me thinks be will be the winner!

Homer ;)

Skycop
28th May 2001, 23:36
This one never fails.

"Excuse me, do you believe in protecting the environment?"

When she says yes and asks why:

"It's just that my pack of three is nearly at it's expiry date"...

Hottie
30th May 2001, 06:14
Just some extras for thought, guys :

"You must be a highjumper, cause you make my bar rise..."

"Would you like to play Titanic ? Good. When I say 'iceberg', you go down, okay ? "

Said to a girl standing nearby at a bar, who has obviously been interested but hesitant to make the first move.
CAUTION : ENSURE NO BOUNCERS ARE LOOKING IN YOUR DIRECTION, OR THAT 'BIG BROTHER' IS NOT WATCHING
Remove an icecube from your spirit tumbler, place on the bar, beside the girl, and with a hammering fist, crush the icecube. Then tell her :
"Now that the ice has been broken, let's talk...I'm _____....you really have stunning eyes....."

Another one I tried on a chic recently...well, she started it anyway ;)

Her : Hey stud, wanna come back to my place for coffee ? (wink, wink)
Me : Only if you tell me NOW what coffee you have - I have been disappointed one too many times before - don't wanna be hurt again.. :)

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'There is some satisfaction, that is mighty sweet to take, when you reach a destination you thought you'd never make...'

flapsforty
30th May 2001, 13:13
Said to me by a gorgeous elderly gent in the old bazaar in Istanbul 3 days ago:

"Beautiful Lady, Please let me help you spend your money"

:)

sickBocks
1st Jun 2001, 01:11
This one has a 100% success rate. (I've used it once.)

"I would offer to buy you a drink but I've run out of cash.."

To which she pulled out her purse and bought me a drink. She was a bit ugly but I was thirsty :-)

sB x

Groove-ryder
1st Jun 2001, 13:56
This one's got to be one of the best and most amusing:

Do you fancy a shag?

NO

Well would you mind lying back and opening your legs while I have one.

Greek God
1st Jun 2001, 14:55
My face is leaving in 10 minutes; be on it.

drunkflyer
2nd Jun 2001, 05:35
"Hi sexy, my name's Rob, remember it because your going to be screaming it later baby!!"

Get's a laugh anyway!!

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Zero G makes 'em swallow!

Co ordination unaffected
2nd Jun 2001, 14:22
Ask them "What's got 2 thumbs speaks French and likes blow jobs?"


they won't know, so to clarify, point to yourself with both your thumbs.."Moi"

outboundjetsetter
4th Jun 2001, 08:41
how about these;
you say(M) "how much does a Polar Bear weigh"
(f) she say's; Huh, what???
" well it was enough to break the ice wasn't it?.
Or "hey babe wanna see something swell!!; :)

if that doesnt work just say nice shoes like a fu*$!!!

lymanm
4th Jun 2001, 12:37
All very impressive so far...!!!
My humble contribution:

Nice legs!!! What time do they open?

Gravox
5th Jun 2001, 11:57
I don't know Fred Flinstone, but I sure can make your bed rock.

If there was a burger named after you it would be MacGorgeous

is that a ladder in your stockings or a stairway to heaven

Pack your bags bitch, you've scored

Do you like horses?
I consider myself bit of a stallion

mad-andy
5th Jun 2001, 23:03
Just the one I` afraid,I have lived a sheltered life....

`I`d walk a million miles for one of your smiles`....but I`d walk even further for that thing you do with your tongue!.

Cessna Boy
5th Jun 2001, 23:32
There is a party in my pants and you are the guest of honour!
Never got me a shag but got a few laughs!

Elliot Moose
6th Jun 2001, 04:16
A guy I know got really drunk in a peeler bar one night and actually said to one of the girls:
"If you come home with me I promise I won't treat you like a hooker...."

Not only did it not work, he suddenly found himself to be persona non grata at that fine establishment.

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Elliot Moose is on the Loose!