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Pilot's sex kitten
22nd May 2001, 20:01
Being a bit of a PPRuNe virgin I don't know if this has been posted here before. If it has I apologise profusely but I hope it makes you smile anyway!


Seven bartenders were asked if they could identify personality based on what drinks were chosen. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.


The results:

WOMEN

Drink: Beer
Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down to earth.
Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

Drink: Blender drinks with umbrella
Personality: Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass
Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

Drink: Mixed drinks - no umbrellas
Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants.
Approach: If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink.

Drink: Wine - (bottled not 4 litre cask)
Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.(Pretentious)
Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.

Drink: Barcardi Breezer - Hooch
Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated, actually
has absolutely no clue.
Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...and you're in.

Drink: Shots (Vodka, Gin etc.)
Personality: Hanging with boy pals or looking to get drunk...and naked.
Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. Nothing to do but wait.

MEN

Cheap Domestic Beer: He's poor and wants to get laid.

Premium Local Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

Imported Beer: He likes expensive beer and wants to get laid

Guinness: The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.

Wine: He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid.

Vodka: Extremely horny hound that would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.

Whisky: He doesn't give two shits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.

Southern Comfort: Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid.

Tequila: Piss off, all you ******s, I'm gonna go shag something with a pulse. (Obviously from Barrow-in-Furness or the far North of Scotland)

Barcardi Breezer-Hooch: He's gay

:)

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A little of what you fancy does you good...but a lot makes you feel ecstatic.

Biggles Flies Undone
22nd May 2001, 20:17
WOMEN


Drink: Cider
Personality: Probably a beginner at this game.
Approach: Slip her a couple of pints of White Lightning and buy some condoms.

Drink: Mineral water
Personality: Thinks she’s being cool, trendy and kind to her body. Painful.
Approach: No chance of getting her pissed enough to shag you, but you might get a lift home.


MEN

Drink: Snakebite with double vodka chasers.
Personality: Handle with asbestos gloves.
Approach: Stay well clear – if it has a pulse (or is still warm) he will be up it.

Natterjack
22nd May 2001, 20:18
LOL I like expensive imported beer, in fact, that's all I drink, other than perhaps a shot or two if I'm drunk.

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I spend most of my money on beer and women; the rest I just waste.

Tinstaafl
22nd May 2001, 21:02
According to those I'm a sophisticated, extremely horny rapist.

Would any ladies care for a fu.. erm ah .. a sha... I mean, a drink?

[This message has been edited by Tinstaafl (edited 22 May 2001).]

Loki
23rd May 2001, 00:00
Well, I drink wine and nobody ever called me sophisticated. As for getting laid, I`m married so that`s out too.

Stiff Lil' Fingers
23rd May 2001, 00:22
Natters......expensive imported beer eh.....so I must just have imagined the multiple pints of London Pride you supped!

:)

[This message has been edited by Stiff Lil' Fingers (edited 22 May 2001).]

ickle black box
23rd May 2001, 01:04
Yeah but Stiffy, you could tell he wasn't used to it by his reaction, which included in no specific order:

Sleepyness, slurred speach, vertical stability issues, failure in concentration, failure in coherence, memory loss an inevitably headache's

ickle :) :) :)(Seems like he had a good night)

Blackshift
23rd May 2001, 01:06
Guinness with a whisky chaser for me, thanks.

As for the psychobabble, http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/eek.gif ... surely shome mishtake?

The far north of Scotland a hotspot of tequila drinking, I think not! :rolleyes:

Are you some particular pilot's sex-kitten by the way, or just any old pilot's pussy?

....ah, good old Mrs Slowcum. ;) ;) ;)



[This message has been edited by Blackshift (edited 22 May 2001).]

DeltaTango
23rd May 2001, 02:30
Brilliant.....But it only works in a drinking culture.
Where I live-most people order what they see in the movies. ie:
I was working a bar at the Hyatt hotel at the dead-sea a few years back.
This couple comes in, the man orders for his pretty litlle missus a glass of semi dry wine(she was there for that reason and played it well.....) anyway....and for himself, a glass of "J&B on the rocks"...and hurridly added:
"And don't put any ice in it!!!"

HAHA-I thought I was gonna die.... :) :) :)

Have a good one
DT

trolleydollylover
23rd May 2001, 02:48
I have a little finger in a beer drinking emporium in a very posh Lincolnshire Town. We sell a Beer called Hoegardeen. In London it is drank by the yobbish scandanavians, (If there ever was such a thing) in S.....rd the posh drink it to be cool and the rest of us drink it as a warm up. The dorises who drink it are usually shitheaded after a pint and a half aand the blokes 3 pints.

Expensive but always on the pull even if you are not.

Send Clowns
23rd May 2001, 03:34
I like good beer and I want to get laid, then, sounds about right. How about it, Sexy Kitty, my local brew here is Tanglefoot or Old Thumper, and as for the latter well ... do you just want to tangle?

(Trolleydollylover - but isn't it great beer, Hoegaarden?)

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'Me here at last on the ground, you in mid air'

dingducky
23rd May 2001, 07:39
well lately i have been aiming to try every flavour of those vodka cruiser alcoho-pops things
mmmmmmm lolly water :)

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A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

cart tart 1
23rd May 2001, 12:37
its HOEGAARDEN a belgian beer!!!!!!

Pilot's sex kitten
23rd May 2001, 13:44
Blackshift, since you asked I'm a one pilot kind of a girl - well, one pilot at a time anyway!

Send Clowns, Tanglefoot? Interesting choice. Suggests you have discerning taste buds and rather old fashioned, sorry mature, taste?!

As for me, depending on my mood I can be a beer drinking, wine supping, shot downing kind of a girl - all of which tend to end up making me want to get naked. I'm just getting the hang of waiting until I leave the bar before removing my clothing!
;)

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A little of what you fancy does you good...but a lot makes you feel ecstatic.

Teenyweeny ATC Cdt Cpl
23rd May 2001, 14:28
And no-one had anything to say about the best of drinks, Aftershock?

DeltaTango
23rd May 2001, 15:43
Leffe Brun is my choice now-adays...UHMMMMMM
:) http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/tongue.gif :)

drunkflyer
24th May 2001, 21:36
Flaming Lamborghini's: Green Chartreuse, Galliano and Sambucca in a brandy glass lit and while your sucking it up through a straw the bartender pours in a shot of Baileys and Blue Curacao fron either side. or

Red Death: Vodka, Sloe Gin, Amaretto, Southern Comfort, Triple Sec and Orange Juice.

Have a few of those and you won't be in any state to shag!!!!

Ah, I think I've just worked out why I never pull in bars!!! :) ;)

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Zero G makes 'em swallow!

Baggy
25th May 2001, 02:28
Blue aftershock smells like toilet duck, and tastes like antifreeze....

As for the original post - looks like I had better brush up on my pool...