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mriya225
22nd May 2001, 14:45
HAZARDOUS MATERIALS DATA SHEET ANALYSIS

Element: Woman
Symbol: O-
Discoverer: Adam
Atomic Mass: Accepted as 55kg, but known to vary from 45kg to 225kg
Occurrence: Found in large quantities in urban areas with trace elements in outlying regions

Physical Properties
1. Surface normally covered with film of powder and paint.
2. Boils at absolutely nothing, freezes for no apparent reason.
3. Melts if given special treatment.
4. Bitter if used incorrectly.
5. Found in various grades ranging from virgin material to common ore.
6. Yields to pressure if expertly applied.

Chemical Properties
1. Affinity to gold, silver, platinum and all precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. Explodes spontaneously without reason or warning.
4. Greatly increased activity when saturated with alcohol.
5. The most powerful money reducing agent known to man.

Common Use
1. Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
2. Can be a great aid to relaxation.
3. Can be a very effective cleaning agent.

Tests
1. Pure specimens turn bright pink when found in their natural state.
2. Turns green when placed alongside a superior specimen.

Hazards:
1. Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.
2. Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at different locations as long as specimens do not come in direct contact with each other.


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"You did WHAT"?!

Feeton Terrafirma
22nd May 2001, 15:45
Can't say I'm an expert, but I sure like to handle them. :)

I must find out more about maintaining several in different locations........ ;)

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I'm not a PPRuNe addict. (just need one more post)

Velvet
22nd May 2001, 16:08
Element Name: MANIUM
Symbol: XY
Atomic Weight: (180 +/- 50)
Physical properties:
Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily.
Fairly dense and sometimes flaky.
Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct electricity as easily as younger samples.
Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get.
Also tends to form strong bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: CHILDIUM) for prolonged periods of time.
Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.
Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good samples are known to produce large quantities on command.
Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.


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Element Name: CAPTAINIUM
Symbol: CpTnM
Atomic Weight: (Lighter than air)
Physical properties: Shape variable, explosive when mixed with ATCO.
Exposure to EADI, IFR, EHSI can result in migrant entities.
Transitional stages, PPL, GA, CPL, ATPL.
Chemical properties: malleable when mixed with alcohol, explosive when exposed to C4; Neutralise with large infusions of cash.
Usage: Can be used with differing forms of PLANE / HELI. Mix with FO / FA / FE for maximum efficiency in later stages of life cycle. Samples have been seen in many locations.
Caution: Prone to become unstable if exposed to JAR, CAA.

mriya225
22nd May 2001, 18:24
Outstanding Velvet!

Good work on the fly!!

OzExpat
22nd May 2001, 18:44
Thinks ... no, I'm NOT gunna make a post here. I made meself a promise about this sorta thing so I gotta honour me pledge. If I make a post here, I'll never be able to hold me (other) head up again... http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/eek.gif

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Dispela olgeta samting i pekpek bilong bulmakau!

pax domina
22nd May 2001, 19:54
Oh, you're no fun any more!!! ;)

Just for that, anyone for an MSDS on OzExpatium? http://www.pprune.org/ubb/NonCGI/tongue.gif

:) :) :) :) :)

ickle black box
22nd May 2001, 20:22
Element Name: CHILDIUM
Symbol: KZ
Atomic Weight: 1-70kg
Physical properties:
Resultant material after bonding MANIUM and WOMAN.
Comes in smaller sized lumps than MANIUM or WOMAN.
Chemical properties:
Created as BABIUM decays.
Can create extreme decibels for no apparent reason, which attract WOMAN, and repel MANIUM.
Can cause MANIUM and WOMAN to become explosive when mixed for long periods.
Temprament and stability is similar to that of WOMAN.
Neutralise with SWEETIUM (ST)
This element decays over 12 years, becoming TENAGIUM, then either MANIUM or WOMAN
Useage: Reacts with FOODIUM (FD) to produce SHITIUM (SM) No other known uses.
Caution: In the absence of WOMAN, it can become very smelly. After it has decayed to form TENAGIUM, it becomes very unstable and repels MANIUM, WOMAN, and BABIUM, but bonds tightly with other TENAGIUM.

ickle

Velvet
22nd May 2001, 21:01
Well thanks Mriya, but I can only claim credit for Captainium. Here's another quickie :)

Can anyone improve on this

Not sure about Ozexpatium, but how about

Element Name: PPRuNeUm
Symbol: PPRUNE
Atomic Weight: Still to be measured
Physical properties: Variable. Model based on computer research still in design stages. Voluntary Test Subjects have submitted interim Report.
Colour: Varicoloured, subject to change without warning.
Exposure to R&N, ACN, D&G, JB can result in erratic behaviour.
MIL mutation has been spotted, with protective camoflage in RAF, ARMY, NAVY adaptations. Use of colour identification coding is recommended.
Transitional stages, Lurker, Poster, Deck Qualified
Chemical properties: explosive when exposed to alcohol. Adverse reactions from non-compliant WO. Neutralise with infusions of F40 and other calming agents.
Usage: At frequent times, in large doses to reduce tension, stress and daily grind.
Do not dilute with exposure to other BB.
Chemical Properties: becomes excitable in presence of other PPRuNeum, will form bonds at GtBsh levels; can take several days to recover original efficiency.
Frequent infusions of CHAT can result in temporary cessation of POST.
Caution: Handle with care. Highly addictive.



[This message has been edited by Velvet (edited 22 May 2001).]