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View Full Version : Booze.....You have been warned!!!


spannerhead
22nd May 2001, 13:42
Due to increasing products liability litigation, American beer brewers have accepted the FDA’s suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer containers:
1. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.
2. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
3. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.
4. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
5. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
6. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
7. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
8. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.
9. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary.
10. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
11. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
12. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
13. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
14. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the time-space continuum, whereby gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

Pilot's sex kitten
22nd May 2001, 13:50
I knew I'd been doing something wrong with my life recently - I'm obviously not drinking enough alcohol. Pass me a beer so that something can happen to my bra and I can wake up with something scary in the morning - other than my own reflection!
:)

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A little of what you fancy does you good...but a lot makes you feel ecstatic.

Send Clowns
23rd May 2001, 02:50
I'm happy to provide the beer and sort out your bra. It would look lovely in a heap along with the rest of your clothes on my bedroom floor. I can provide quite a scary sight in the morning too sometimes :)

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'Me here at last on the ground, you in mid air'