View Full Version : HRH Queen Mum

9th Sep 2001, 02:02
Has anybody else heard any rumours about the QM dying last Thursday @ 20:00, I`m not saying it`s true but **** loads of people I know have heard the rumour.

9th Sep 2001, 02:46
Careful, you might get sent to the Tower, as its Her Majesty the Queen Mother.

Hadn't heard this rumour, but my two favourites about the old trout are:

She apparently is surrounded by retainers who are in late middle age and not of a heterosexual persuasion. The story goes that when a small bit of bickering broke out amongst her staff, she restored order by raising her voice and requesting "would one of you old queens mind getting this old Queen a Gin and Tonic?"

Also, just after the birth of Prince William, William Hill opened a book on what the name of the infant would be. On the day before the announcement, a stream of distinguished looking gentlemen in black jackets and striped trousers went to the W Hill shop in Kensington and placed handfuls of used notes on the name "William". This was reckoned to be the Queen Mum's reparations against William Hill for taking so much cash off her on the gee gees for a few decades previously.

We've all got to go eventually, but it will be a great shame when she does.

Bally Heck
9th Sep 2001, 03:35
Heard a similar rumour yesterday. 100% genuine I was told. Different time, Friday morning she was off. Think it would have broke in the press by now though. Could the rumours of her death be exagerated?

Howling Mad Murdock
9th Sep 2001, 03:59
Heard the same thing too. heard that loads of Outside Broadcast trucks,generators and all that kind of stuff had been booked up to cover the event for TV -
and she hasnt replied to any of my emails for days.

9th Sep 2001, 04:05
Been holding her in Death Lotto for years, and a return on the investment is long overdue. Go you good thing! A hundred and whatever years of privilege and doing bug*erall is long enough.

Edited to find a way round the naughty word buzzer.

[ 08 September 2001: Message edited by: Binoculars ]

9th Sep 2001, 05:32
hmmmmm. Brings a 'whole' new meaning to "one up the Queen Mum"


9th Sep 2001, 15:59
Just seen the old dear going to church live on Sky News. She looks good for another week or two, doesn`t look a day over 97.

9th Sep 2001, 16:30
^^ in a coffin?

9th Sep 2001, 16:38
Bugga. I bet that bloody Bob Hope beats her by a day. Only time I won (with John Gielgud) bloody Barbara Cartland died the same day and halved my winnings. Old bat.....

Off you go then..........

Send Clowns
9th Sep 2001, 20:50

I would hardly describe her schedule as "bug*er all". If you're doing so much work when your 23 years beyond the average innings then write to me and I'll apologise for calling your comment daft. :p

9th Sep 2001, 21:31
Work ? When did the old dear ever do any work ? OK, the odd garden party, shake a few hands, some waving ...

As compared to your average person who works their ar$e off all their life just to end up trying to survive on a State pension...

No wonder most of 'em don't survive the extra 23 years :mad:

9th Sep 2001, 23:56
It just goes to show how gullible some people are.

10th Sep 2001, 13:02
Maybe HRH is like Soviet Leader Breshnev.....

You never hear her say anything of consequence do you..... :eek:

10th Sep 2001, 14:05
Tend to agree Grainger :) I wonder how many of those extra years can be explained by not having had to spend one day of her life worrying about money?

Anyway..... Send Clowns; thank you for your kind words :) Since this whole discussion had been basically tongue in cheek, it's probably not the place to start a D&M about the royal family, but what the hell? Australia is currently caught up in the demise of an aviation icon, so my words here will cause little in the way of a splash. Besides, since Tartan Gannet departed there's hardly anyone left around here to offer unsolicited opinions at great length, so here goes.

I am a struggling humanist, (rather than a pelagian syncretist), and lots of things in the world cause me to scratch my head in utter bewilderment. Not the least of these is the way a lucky few have been elevated to some sort of terrestrial sainthood purely by an accident of birth. I mean, is there anything more inherently absurd than the concept of a "Royal" family"? Is it not hysterically funny that these people, whose ranks have included some of the biggest tossers of all time, including the current prince consort (is that the right term for Phil the Greek?) are to be addressed as Your Majesty, Your Royal Highness etc?

Look, I have no real problem with the inner circle's existence as a quaint reminder to tourists of the feudal age. In that respect they are probably at least revenue neutral for England, and a lot of people in the publishing industry owe their jobs to the unquenchable demand for gossip about what happens in the regal household, not to mention the royal pants. The pathetic bunch of inbred hangers-on masquerading as dukes, earls, viscounts and such like are another matter, but hey, it's your economy.

I just can't take anything about them seriously, except that the current Big Cheese of this family of upper class twits is constitutionally enshrined as the head of state of my country. Now THAT makes me angry.

Fortunately I am always able to soothe said anger by conjuring an image of one of the various highnesses chasing a floater around the toilet bowl, unable to dispose of it no matter how many flushes are tried. Or do they have someone to do that job for them? Is this where a Royal Flush originated?

I am also grateful to the whole regal circus for one serendipitous side-benefit. I was taught always to seek both sides of any argument, and while this is an admirable concept, I am finding in my middle years that my thought processes are paralysed to the point where I'm not game to come down firmly on one side or another lest I be accused of being blinkered. The royal family, bless their cotton socks, at least give me something on which I can confidently have an opinion.

Daft? Mate, you can shout that out!

10th Sep 2001, 14:18
Better sell all my Gordons and Bombay Saphire shares, what with the overworked old Queen mum and her worked to death youngest daughter about to go T*ts up what will happen to the sale of Gin! :D

10th Sep 2001, 14:32
From today's Daily Telegraph

Queen Mother at church service
By David Graves
(Filed: 10/09/2001)

QUEEN Elizabeth the Queen Mother joined other members of the Royal Family at church near Balmoral yesterday, dispelling immediate concern about her failing health.

The Queen Mother attends the morning service at Crathie church
The Prince of Wales cancelled a holiday in Jordan with Camilla Parker Bowles last week to remain near his grandmother.

But she was well enough to attend morning service at Crathie parish church and, although frail, walked from her car into the kirk with the aid of a stick.

More than 60 wellwishers greeted the Queen Mother, who was 101 last month, when she arrived with the Queen and Prince Philip.

Afterwards the Queen Mother walked back to her car, waving to the crowd before being taken back to Balmoral. The Earl and Countess of Wessex attended the service.

The Rev Bob Sloan, who helped to conduct the service, said that no specific prayers had been said for the Queen Mother, but the congregation had been delighted to see her at the church.

There has been speculation over the Queen Mother's health since she was diagnosed with anaemia shortly before her birthday and was given a blood transfusion.

On Sept 1 she missed the Highland gathering at Braemar when she attended Aberdeen Royal Infirmary for tests. She was able to attend church the following day.

The Queen Mother is due to stay at Birkhall, on the Balmoral estate, until the end of the month. Royal aides said that she was "more or less well" and was entertaining house guests and giving dinner parties

10th Sep 2001, 17:13
OK, if we're getting serious about this, then here is my 2p worth:

I can understand why Oz doesn't want our Monarchy. It's 'tother side of the world, they're more of an asian country now etc...etc....

However, I read that the Oz Republicans lost the referendum because they wanted the Politicians to choose the Head of State..... :eek:

So was that a referendum on the Monarchy or the 'Pollies'... :D :D

I can understand the arguments as to why we should get rid of our's....

...but remember what happened in the 17th Century.

We had the civil war (..how can you have a civil war...?) and got rid of HM King Charles I....

...and ended up with Oliver Cromwell... :eek:

It's very noticable that most UK Republicans tend to be ambitious MPs. If we got shut of the House of Saxe-Coburg Gotha, we might end up with Portillo as President.... :eek: :eek: :eek:

I suppose we'll prob have to keep HMQ until we can think of something better. :rolleyes:

[ 10 September 2001: Message edited by: swashplate ]

10th Sep 2001, 21:27
we might end up with Portillo as President

...Rather even that, than put up with the freeloading Windsors any longer - about time we ditched 'em, IMHO. The Aussies at least have a more realistic opportunity to do so, and should not fail to grasp it the next time they vote.

It's time for a Republic.

WxJx :cool:

[ 10 September 2001: Message edited by: WeatherJinx ]

tony draper
10th Sep 2001, 22:49
What was wrong with old Oliver Cromwell?, pity we chopped his head off.
Has a good ring to it, Lord Protector Draper,
Hmm have to think of a latin motto for myself.
How do you say (Them as dies will be the lucky ones) in Latin. ;)

[ 10 September 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]

10th Sep 2001, 23:04
If I recall correctly, Oliver C died in his bed. His head was indeed chopped off, but posthumously after some considerable time.

Don't suppose he was too bothered by then.

tony draper
10th Sep 2001, 23:08
Damm JP, Draper once won money on a bet about that, did you have to tell them. ;)

11th Sep 2001, 01:51
I was always under the impression that you lads in the UK treated the old lady like she was one step removed from biblical status..now I see references to her toilet habits and drinking, I guess she is really human after all. Why not..the rest of us are.

tony draper
11th Sep 2001, 02:24
It seems to be a image fostered by the Luvie media Hank, they are looking forward to filling hours of their shallow empty tv space for zip, when the old lady does pop her clogs.
Although saying that she does have a group of dedicated groupies, I think most people in the UK are like me, I rarely if ever think about royalty, they are just something that is there,like telephone boxes or double decker buses.

11th Sep 2001, 02:41
Interesting education I am getting here Tony, I thought the Royal Mum was above reproach, not on the same level as the rest of the crew, or as some call them here in the states, Appalachia in better suits.

tony draper
11th Sep 2001, 02:57
Might be sour grapes on my part Hank, I recall having to line up in the pouring rain when I was about ten, and being instructed to wave like hell when a carful of them swept past us peasents.
I think royaty worship is more a southern thing, the've never been that big in the north of England.
I feel a bit sorry for Charlie, he's a bit of a loon, he'll be like that son of Victoria
Who's name escapes me at the moment, I think by the time his old mum died he got to the throne in his late sixties, hardy have time to turn into a decent tyrant.
Those German ladies are notoriously long lived. ;)

11th Sep 2001, 03:05
Tony, I think you mean Albert, Prince of Wales, who was crowned as King Edward VII?

Best cartoon I've seen in a long time was when there was all the debate about replacing RY Britannia, and the most likely-looking bidder was a shipyard in Hamburg. The cartoon showed two guys in pinstripe suits looking at the bids, one saying to the other "It looks like we'll have to get the Royal Yacht from the same place we got the Royal Family"

High Volt
11th Sep 2001, 04:02
Who Cares?

11th Sep 2001, 04:45
It is a small world Tony. I was also subjected to paying tribute to the closest thing we have had to royalty, somewhat self perceived, when I had to attend a parade for General MacAurthur after Truman had him brought back to the states. Schools were closed and all pupils were transported to New York City to welcome the General. But no hard feelings, the weather was great.

It just makes me wonder that if being the harmless mother of the Queen is not enough to make you a beloved heirloom in your country than what do you have to do?

Glad I found another line of work...

tony draper
11th Sep 2001, 05:10
I also had to work all through a very very cold night once to rig up a PA sytem for Lizzie Windsor to open a new bridge across the Tyne, we got the last stuff hooked up just as the royal train swept in , and she did not use it,boy was I pissed. ;)
ps, we would have been finished hours earlier but some large men in suits with bulges under their arms insisted we take down all the speakers and open them up for inspection.Merry England eh! ;)

[ 11 September 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]

11th Sep 2001, 05:18
A fine and pleasant land, if you know where to look. ;) HRH MumBots MkIX and all.

11th Sep 2001, 15:05
I heard she died years ago - they just pickled her in gin........

14th Sep 2001, 04:37
first I heard was last week when charlie boy cancelled trip to Jordan (to be with sick granny) but never left south (granny in scotland). Suspect that he just didn't want to go to Jordan, probably proved sensible by recent events

15th Sep 2001, 20:14
What is the matter with Australia, Canada and all the other countries that hold on to the anachronastic British Monarchy as head of state. Australia had the chance to rid themselves of them but blew the chance. Ditch the sods I say. Just wish our politicians had the courage to get rid of Lizzie and all the freeloading inbred hangers on. Lets have the courage to elect our head of state and not have the misfortune to have one foisted on us through an accident of birth.
:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: