View Full Version : Best Man's speech

Jaap Stam
28th Aug 2001, 16:57
I am a Scottish ATCO soon to be a Best Man for an English Pilot. Does anyone have any jokes, anecdotes or pranks which I can set up which they think I can use. Ta

28th Aug 2001, 17:23
My best man started....
This is not the first time today I have got up from a warm seat holding a piece of paper...
It got a few laughs and settled his nerves !!

You want it when?
28th Aug 2001, 17:34
You could try sending out a questionnaire to all his friends and family (you can track down). It should be kept quiet and ask:

1. Tell me three things about X that I don't know
2. Tell me three things about X's past that he would rather keep quiet.
3. Can you list any names of ex-girlfriends?

Another good "gag" - is to at some point in the speech ask for all the keys to his bachelor pad to be returned. If set-up correctly this can have everything from 8 year olds to the waitress (and maybe the odd bloke) returning keys.

SLF 999
28th Aug 2001, 17:38
You could use something along the lines of - you know why he is a pilot, a love of uniforms, it is all down to his mother and father and not because they pushed him in the aviation directions, its because as when he was young times were hard and money was tight, so all his clothes were bought from the Army and Navy stores, xxxxx was 12 before he realised he wasnt an Admiral in the Japanese Navy, it just natural that in his adult life he wanted his own uniform. etc.
Hope it goes well

29th Aug 2001, 00:57
" I have the honour today to reply on behalf of the bridesmaids "

Sip wine

Straighten tie


"We bridesmaids".......

It always gets Granny going.

Sharjah Night Shift
29th Aug 2001, 01:33
Being a Best Man is like making love to the Queen Mother.

A great honour to be asked to do it, but you really don't want to.

29th Aug 2001, 04:41
Mine hired 3 hookers to sit in the back of the church and cry.

29th Aug 2001, 16:47
Advise the assembled company that you are making this speech in accordance with the tried and true "Alphabet System."


Always Be Calm and Xamine Your Zip.


29th Aug 2001, 19:00
I got the honour to be the "best man" even tho last time I looked I wasn't a man. Nevertheless the thing to do with the speech is keep is short and simple... and drink lots of whiskey before hand! ;) :D :D

29th Aug 2001, 22:21
Jaap had the same dilemma a couple of weeks back. Try using the days TAF:

Forecast for Wedding...
Expected development of Warm front,
with extreme turbulence and moisture in lower regions.
Good possibility of six inches overnight.
Sun(son) is expected later on.

Got me a laugh. Good luck mate!

Send Clowns
29th Aug 2001, 23:58
Get in touch with his close friends, from various stages of life. Had the honour at my brother's wedding earlier in the year, and got some great material, some of it reminders some new stuff even I didn't know. Went down well, always will with good material. The slides are a classic but always good, especially if your going through his life in sequence, and have nothing for the early bit.

Lurk R
30th Aug 2001, 04:20
Just be wary of the gag with the keys - I've been to about 20 weddings where this was done and it just doesn't seem so funny any more...