View Full Version : Danny, I Think You Will Like This Joke, Unless YOU Wrote It???

27th Aug 2001, 11:24
An unemployed man goes to apply for a job with Microsoft as a janitor. The manager there arranges for him to take an aptitude test (Section:Floors,sweeping and cleaning).

After the test, the manager says, "You will be employed at minimum wage, $5.15 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address, so that I can send you a form to complete and tell you where to report for work on your first day.

Taken aback, the man protests that he has neither a computer nor an e-mail address. To this the MS manager replies, "Well, then, that means that you virtually don't exist and can therefore hardly expect to be employed."

Stunned, the man leaves. Not knowing where to turn and having only $10 in his wallet, he decides to buy a 25 lb box of tomatoes at the supermarket.

Within less than 2 hours, he sells all the tomatoes individually at 100% profit. Repeating the process several times more that day, he ends up with almost $100 before going to sleep that night. And thus it dawns on him that he could quite easily make a living selling tomatoes. Getting up early every day and going to bed late, he multiplies his profits quickly.

After a short time he acquires a cart to transport several dozen boxes of tomatoes, only to have to trade it in again so that he can buy a pick-up truck to support his expanding business. By the end of the second year, he is the owner of a fleet of pick-up trucks and manages a staff of a hundred former unemployed people, all selling tomatoes.

Planning for the future of his wife and children, he decides to buy some life insurance. Consulting with an insurance adviser, he picks an insurance plan to fit his new circumstances. At the end of the telephone conversation, the adviser asks him for his e-mail address in order to send the final documents electronically.

When the man replies that he has no e-mail, the adviser is stunned, "What, you don't have e-mail? How on earth have you managed to amass such wealth without the Internet, e-mail and e-commerce? Just imagine where you would be now, if you had been connected to the Internet from the very start!"

After a moment of thought, the tomato millionaire replied, "Why, of course! I would be a floor cleaner at Microsoft!"

Moral of this story:

1. The Internet, e-mail and e-commerce do not need to rule your life.
2. If you don't have e-mail, but work hard, you can still become a millionaire.
3. Seeing that you got this story via e-mail, or on the Internet, you're probably closer to becoming a janitor than you are to becoming a millionaire.
4. If you do have a computer and e-mail, you have already been taken to the cleaners by Microsoft.
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[ 27 August 2001: Message edited by: lame ]

27th Aug 2001, 14:01

Close enough to being a millionaire, and regularly surfing and emailing using Linux.

Making my crust on Solaris.

Since when did you fly anything running Micro-soft (named after Gates' whatsit no doubt)?? :(

27th Aug 2001, 17:33
Damm I wanted to break into the tomato market. Too late now.

There is a grain of truth in it though. I often wonder if I put in the same effort into becoming a millionaire as I did into being a pilot, would I now be rich and ironically a pilot too, because of course that's what I would have done with the money?

Is that a paradox?

27th Aug 2001, 21:11

ISS/Alpha - highest "flying" craft in use, uses NT - not very successfully.

Notso Fantastic
27th Aug 2001, 21:24
Good one! But it is a variation of a Somerset Maughan story filmed with a very young George Cole in the leading part! Nice one though.

28th Aug 2001, 18:36
Notso's right. The original short story is called 'The Verger', about a church attendant who is fired because he can't read, but goes on to set up a successful tobacconist business.

28th Aug 2001, 18:52
Strange, once read a version where the Church Warden (couldn't become a Verger because he couldn't read nor write) and his wife went into a catering business, instead of tobacco - but have been back to re-read the Somerset Maugham original and Notso and Konkordski are quite right.

Just goes to show how many variations on a theme there can be :)

[ 28 August 2001: Message edited by: Velvet ]

Token Bird
28th Aug 2001, 20:25
Funny how everyone else in the world needs a job to make money, but we need money in order to get a job...

This is a completely obvious observation which everyone else on this forum is already aware of, but I thought I'd say it out loud just to see if it sounds more ludicrous. I find in fact that it couldn't get more ludicrous.

A thoughtful TB

29th Aug 2001, 02:22
There is a true story about a soldier who joined the british army in the early 1800's, illiterate as was often the case then. He was a good soldier, but found out that to be promoted he had to be able to read and write - in due course he learnt, was promoted and posted to India; when there he discovered that if you could interpret various languages you got paid more - so he became an interpreter. After repeating the knowledge=promotion proceedure many times he became the first (and still I believe only) soldier to join as private and end up as general - he ended up commanding the Army Staff College