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Velvet
11th Dec 2001, 21:18
The Traffic Exam

The following are a sampling of REAL answers received on exams in California:


Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?

A: What for? He can't see my license plate.

Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop at the same time?

A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying "Guns don't kill people. I do."

Q: What are the important safety tips to remember when backing your car?

A: Always wear a condom.

Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?

A: Your car.


Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?

A: Be too **** faced to find your keys.


Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?

A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.


Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?

A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.


Q: What are some points to remember when passing or being passed?

A: Make eye contact and wave "hello" if he/she is cute.

Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?

A: The color.


Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?

A: Heavy psychedelics.


Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?

A: Carry loaded weapons.

Q: Why would it be difficult to be a police officer?

A: It would be tough to be a ******** all day long.

DESCEND WHEN READY
12th Dec 2001, 15:16
Still...they dont have to drive at 50 km/h like us now.

sanjosebaz
12th Dec 2001, 19:48
... But the California test is multi-choice! :eek:

dingducky
13th Dec 2001, 04:44
what does an orange traffic light mean?

speed up because its going to turn red

X-dash8thrasher
13th Dec 2001, 05:44
dingduck,

"what does an orange traffic light mean? speed up because its going to turn red"

SSTDOP
(standard sydney taxi driver operating procedure #57)

right next to - tailgate at 110Kmph ,stop and hold up peak hour traffic , U-turn at intersections during red signal ,turn right from LEFT lane , turn left from RIGHT lane,do not indicate direction of turn, hazard lights ON mean its OK to park in transit lanes , and my personal favourite...when booked for an early 430am pickup , turn up at address and toot horn sharply to announce arrival to entire sleeping block ,(if a lot of flight crew live on your street....arrghh!!)