View Full Version : In need of some "schoolhousin'"

9th Dec 2001, 00:53
Hey all.

(Sorry, this turned out longer than originaly anticipated)

If any of you would feel so inclined, I’d like to solicit your opinions on the following subject matter. (By the way, this isn’t about right or wrong – this is about helping educate a dumb ol’ horse-turd cowboy turned pilot)


I’ve just finished from the XL’s (eX-Loser) quarterly, hour-long “what a fool I was to ever fall for a loser like you” telephone conversation during which she expounds upon the countless ways in which I've forever ruined her life and so forth and so on. (she always uses the term "loser" like it's a bad thing)

During this latest expose of unimaginable deceit and despicable acts a brand new element was added. It was brought to my attention, by the XL, that; “’affairs of the heart’ are far worse than a physical relationship” and that, had I been so inclined, she could have accepted a physical involvement with “one of those stupid flight attendant groupies” much easier than a platonic relationship. She further contends that any “flirting”, regardless of whether you know the object of your “flirtatious advance” (where do they come up with this “object” and “flirtatious advance” crap?!?) or not is moot as it is the intent of such advance to share some hidden desire with the object that you are not able to share with your “life mate” (life-mate? J-e-e-e-e-z-e) and such intent thereby creates an “affair of the heart” (and just what the heck is an “affair of the heart”?).

With all of that said, I’m just an old West Texas country bumpkin and don’t understand a whole lot about what I just wrote. I admit that I certainly appreciate the she-male species and can’t help but notice a gorgeous pair of dark brown eyes and cute dimples sitting three tables away in the cantina (sorry, can’t lay off the dimples). Likewise, I also enjoy the casual and oftentimes lose and colorful discourse that lends itself to the working environment of a flight crew. Now, maybe that old gelding did toss me on my head one too many times but, I sure have a hard time seeing how a brief glance and a smile across a restaurant, or a comfortable conversation while sitting in a crew lounge is "far worse" than a quick game of hide the salami. (On the other hand, if I’m wrong I’ve just wasted 20 years of cold showers and ice in the bath water!)

So, someone help me out here, if you please. What in the world is an affair of the heart? After all, if I'm having one of 'em, or a platonic relationship, I sure as hell want to know about it so I can take the opportunity to enjoy it more.


Judy O'Halloran
10th Dec 2001, 10:28
Hi B.Loser! As one of those female of the species, I have absolutely no idea what an "affair of the heart" is! I always thought an affair was an affair! A platonic relationship, on the other hand, is two people of the opposite sex who are JUST GOOD FRIENDS.
And why, if she's the ex, does she still ring you???
(Just curious)
Hopefully someone else may be able to shed furhter light in this subject...

10th Dec 2001, 18:12
Sorry, B. Loser, I'm not able to enlighten you any more than mushpups but I too am curious as to why your ex keeps calling you.

One thing is certain ... she really needs to understand that your friends are your friends and whether they are men or women is completely irrelevant. You love your friends for the people they are regardless of their physical characteristics.

Don't let it all get to you.


11th Dec 2001, 01:06
Hey B. Looser, I think I have the answer.

She's upset about the "Affairs of the heart" Because

1. Women are much more possesive then men could ever be.

2. They think that all we're after is sex.

3. They don't believe we would want one for their brains.

4. So when you have a platonic relationship, that means, to her anyway, that while you might enjoy the "roll in the hay" with her, you didn't find her intellectually stimulating, or even all that intersting to spend time with unless you are bonking her.

To everyone else, the fact she's still calling I think means she's still pissed about the whole thing, and since she doesn't have enough sense to get over it, it might just mean she's not really all that bright.

I'm still getting twice weekly phone calls from the x-mrs. Hobo, just to bitch me out over no particular subject. The calls don't really make much sense content wise, but then they never do when the caller has had several too many jack and cokes.

bubba zanetti
11th Dec 2001, 01:22
It is high time you changed your telephone number and ended this quarterly self abuse ... stop being an audience for this crap ... and ask dimples to dance ... for god's sake.
to flirt is human ... and one cannot have an affair of the heart ... what a load of third rate tripe ... I love the banter with woman and my wife loves it with men ... end of story ... :)

11th Dec 2001, 01:33
I agree with my colleagues, you've suffered long enough. change your phone number, email, etc. Then get back in the game. Life is not a spectator sport.

11th Dec 2001, 01:59
Oh dear - sounds like XL has been reading too much Barbara Cartland - and she needs to get a life - not yours by the way.

Have you thought of putting the phone down after the first couple of over-blown sentences - after telling her that she's completely lost it and you're off make one of those flirtatious advances that will result in some horizontal and very desirable physical involvements. Then go off and have some fun.

Then as some of the others have said - change your phone number and stop being the whipping boy for your XL - unless, of course, you enjoy all that maudlin' claptrap she's spouting.

11th Dec 2001, 03:02
Good feedback, thanks.

Found out recently she was getting my new numbers from my daughter's speed-dial - crazy, not stupid.

As to why she keeps calling, I think JetAge may be close but, who knows?

JetAge: It's kinda like all of those movies about the Titanic. C'mon, the ship sank - get over it. Oh, and this one's a gin baby.

Judy O'Halloran
11th Dec 2001, 05:45
Hey Jet Age! We KNOW all you guys are after is sex!
Just kidding!
All jokes aside though, she really sounds like she's totally insecure and just can't let go.
I guess I'm lucky with my ex - he doesn't even speak to me!

11th Dec 2001, 08:20
She said I only wanted her for sex.
I agreed. Now she's my ex. :D

[ 11 December 2001: Message edited by: nearlynormalmike ]