View Full Version : A small amount of aussie bashing.

7th Dec 2001, 11:54
Eminem's tour of Australia is to go ahead despite concerns about a sickening attitude to women, appalling obscene language, an irresponsible attitude to sex and violence and of course, the dungarees.
"but Eminem said despite these shocking traits he was willing to judge Australians for himself".

7th Dec 2001, 12:32
Eminem. One in a long list of forthcoming US ambassadors. Better bopping Nicole K. than the Iron Lady! Good line, Maggy. ;)

[ 07 December 2001: Message edited by: AirBoozer ]

Margaret Thatcher
7th Dec 2001, 12:32
a sickening attitude to women, appalling obscene language, an irresponsible attitude to sex and violence and of course, the dungarees.

Sounds like he'll fit right in then...

7th Dec 2001, 22:32
Lets not bash them, well, not much anyway. Just finished reading Bill Brysons "Down Under" where he recounts the story of a foreign visitor to a rural hotel in Queensland. It seems our hero was presented with dinner one evening which consisted only of cold meat and potatos. He asked of the waitress if it might be possible to have some salad whereupon she announced to the rest of the hotel dining room "This bastard thinks it`s christmas!"

8th Dec 2001, 07:26
Genlemen Please, please do not equate Eminem with US opinion of Australia. He is an aberrition of society we'd like to see disappearinto the sewers of NYC. In fact most Ameicans have formed their opinions of the "land Down under" from what they saw on TV during the Summer Olympics. We think you guys are awesome. We love the spirit, the vastness of your country, and the harm of your people. Eminem is a freak, ignore him PLEASE.

Arm out the window
8th Dec 2001, 08:44
I am moved to respond with the traditional retort to taunts from the English:

"**** off, ya pommie poofter, and get a big brown dog up ya!"

8th Dec 2001, 09:48
AAhhhhhh music to my ears. :D

8th Dec 2001, 16:31
There, ya see! Us Aussies are sufficiently broad of mind and shoulder to cop a bit of stick from those too jealous to be as original and direct!

That should put the cat among the pidgeons... :D

8th Dec 2001, 19:43
In my experience, aussie men are charming,
polite and romantic.
And they have accents like melted chocolate!!!!!
And they look good..........
And they make me laugh.........

By the way, Im not generalising,
Just talking about one in particular..... ;)

9th Dec 2001, 11:39
Say what you like about us I don't care, its 28 deg c clear blue sky's and I just got back from the beach, come to think of it thats one hell of a punishment you pomies handed out when you sent us out here !

10th Dec 2001, 02:48
Would you blokes please take Rolf Harris back now? Surely its been long enough. You lot must really hate us.

tony draper
10th Dec 2001, 03:02
I understand there's still alot of class distinction and snobery Dunnunder,
"My Greatgrandad had a longer number that you're Greatgrandad" ;)

Margaret Thatcher
11th Dec 2001, 12:59
There, ya see! Us Aussies are sufficiently broad of mind and shoulder to cop a bit of stick from those too jealous to be as original and direct!


The broad of shoulder is a genetic requirement down there as superior muscles are required to facilitate the national passtime of keeping ones head up ones A*SE.

Direct ? Absolutely, but not since the last penal ship was sent DIRECT from our fair shores all those years ago.


Probably not due to the fact that inter-breeding was a legal requirement to get the population up. (now it's just convenient because you don't have to buy your sister a beer first).

:eek: :D :D ;) :eek:

Let the war Begin ! The Lady's NOT for turning!!!!

compressor stall
11th Dec 2001, 16:39
When your sh!t don't stink, there's nothing wrong with sticking you head up ya ar$e.

11th Dec 2001, 18:15
ya know, you guys are beating around the bush. Tell us how you really feel about each other. Come on let it out, you'll feel better.

11th Dec 2001, 21:22
Well I think they've got it beat - only they could think up this scam - now who wants to split the proceeds

True Story - Australian Police have been unable to recommend a prosecution for the following scam:-

A company takes out a newspaper advertisement claiming to be able to supply imported hard core pornographic videos. As their prices seem reasonable, people place orders and make payments via cheque.

After several weeks, the company writes back explaining that under the present law they are unable to supply the materials and do not wish to be prosecuted. So they return their customers money in the form of a company cheque. However, due to the name of the company, few people ever bother to
present these to their banks. The name of the company is

'The Anal Sex and Fetish Perversion Company'.

tony draper
11th Dec 2001, 21:52
I remember reading years ago, must have been the sixties, that a American Guy placed a advert in all the Comic books Gun magazines crime monthlies ect that read .
Urgent send your dollar right now, and a PO box number,.
He made a terrific amount of money ,and as he had promised nothing he wasn't breaking any law.
I know this has the sound of a urban myth about it, but it is supposed to be true.
And before we go laughing at the gulability of Americans, ponder on this, Brit society has been dumbed down so much over the last couple of decades, that he would probably make a lot of money here with the same scam nowadays.

12th Dec 2001, 03:12
Many years ago, I used to work with an Ozzie girl. When she announced to her family that she was deserting the land of sheepshaggers and roo poachers for the land of Shakespeare, Byron and Tennyson, her grandmother said "Where? England??? You mean where all those criminals came from????????" :D

12th Dec 2001, 06:12
Now Margret, let's get this straight right from the start.....You must learn to distinguish between Australians and Tasmanians & Kiwis (refering to your last comment Probably not due to the fact that inter-breeding was a legal requirement to get the population up. now it's just convenient because you don't have to buy your sister a beer first). :eek:

[ 12 December 2001: Message edited by: nasa ]

12th Dec 2001, 08:26
Hi Velvet,
Your report on the porno scam seems to be developing into an urban myth.

Here in outback Oz just a few weeks ago I heard on ABC radio (something like the BBC without the gravitas) an American author report to the interviewing book reviewer the very scam you describe as American in origin. (With the subtle variation in that the 'Company' issuing refunds was 'Child Pornography Inc', or similar.)

The author himself, he said, was a reformed scammer. A notable scam from which he profited hugely, he confessed, involved a night bank/vault/safe. (Those heavily armoured holes in the wall into which, after hours, shopkeepers give their bags of money to banks.)

He rented a security guard's uniform from a costume hire/fancy dress retailer and stood in front of a night safe at midnight closing time in a shopping centre with his portable steel safe and his sign reading "This night safe is out of order. Please leave your deposits with the security guard."

He made a killing. (With colonial imagination like that, little wonder Blighty lost a couple of possessions!)

[ 12 December 2001: Message edited by: rainbow ]

12th Dec 2001, 08:34
I think this was an Aussie scam.

Chap places an ad in all the women''s mags.
Guaranteed way of cutting your household bills in half. Send $10.

Thousands sent him the 10 bucks and in return got a $1 scissors.

The plods couldn't nick him because he had
fulfilled his promise, the cheap scissors could indeed cut your household bill in half.

Now why didn't I think of that :D :D

Margaret Thatcher
12th Dec 2001, 11:52

Actually by infering that Oz people only sleep with their sisters I was distinguishing them from Kiwi's and Tasmanians who generally just sleep with sheep (or their brothers. :eek: :eek:

12th Dec 2001, 12:01
Crap;,we SHEAR our sheep ,Aussies SHARE them :D

Islander Jock
12th Dec 2001, 22:51
Reminds me of the one about the kiwi and pom walking back to their flat late one night after a few pints at the local. They spot a runaway sheep with it's head stuck between the iron bars of a park fence.

The kiwi says to his pom mate "this is too good an opportunity to pass up" and promptly goes behind the sheep, drops his pants and does what kiwis allegedly do to sheep.

After he finishes, he turns to the pom and says "OK mate, your turn" at which point the pom drops his pants, bends down and sticks his head between the bars of the fence.

Capt Vegemite
13th Dec 2001, 03:14
I'd just like to say to you POMS....
"Thank you for the country".

tony draper
13th Dec 2001, 03:21
Think nothing of it Capt V, for are we not a magnanimous race?, we are at present busy giving this country away as we speak. :(

PS, we couldn't very well let Johnny Frenchman have it could we?. ;)

[ 12 December 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]

DX Wombat
13th Dec 2001, 11:29
It must be Christmas - they are keeping the Aussies happy by hurling abuse at them. :D :D :D

Mirkin About
13th Dec 2001, 13:00
OHHH yeess abuse me , please may I have another :D :D :D

Poor me born a POM and raised a Tasmanian

14th Dec 2001, 04:41
Mirkin, I've heard that sort of behaviour is still legal in Tassie, not sure about SA though? :eek: ;)

[ 14 December 2001: Message edited by: OpsNormal ]

Gunner B12
14th Dec 2001, 06:42

The scam you refer to is actually from a film, the name of which escapes me at the moment. It was a British film where at the beginning a group of guys lose a load of money at cards in a crooked game and are given limited time to come up with the cash. The scam is suggested then rejected as needing too long. The film ends if I remember correctly with one hell of a shoot out…..

Ahh….. it comes to me now, I believe it was Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels.

:cool: :cool: :cool:

DX Wombat
14th Dec 2001, 15:56
Ops, you will have to forgive Mirkin if he seems a little confused at times, it's all the worry about those perishing penguins and how to defeat them. I'm still working on it Mirkin even if I am 12,00 miles away. ;) :D

Mirkin About
14th Dec 2001, 16:17
Thanks Dx , because of those bloody cunning birds I don't know if I am Arthur or Martha half the time :eek: Ops, until recently nothing was legal in Tasmania. Fewer Puritans in the city of Churches than in the hills of Hobart playin Banjoes :D :D

Kaptin M
14th Dec 2001, 16:44
Well, I notice we Aussies were smart enough to be able to rate a PPRuNe forum just for ourselves - Dunnunda & Godzone...haven't noticed a POMS forum anywhere.

Guess it shows Danny's undying admiration of all things Oz!! :D

BTW, anyone who wants to get a cheap pilot's licence fast, just send me USD500 - I GUARANTEE you'll have one within 3 months!

14th Dec 2001, 19:49
I finally gave in.

Every time I read the title line "A small amount of Aussie bashing..." I keep wanting to finish with "... is never enough"

[ 14 December 2001: Message edited by: Axerock ]

tony draper
14th Dec 2001, 20:03
Draper had a fist fight with a Vicar in Tasmania once. ;)

DX Wombat
15th Dec 2001, 02:00
Is he now in your trophy cupboard along with that broken pilot Mr D? :eek: :D

15th Dec 2001, 02:04
Well I still think they are lovely....
some of them
one of them

and I love Liverbirds.... i am one!!!!! :rolleyes:

tony draper
15th Dec 2001, 02:17
Least said the better perhaps, Burnies finest are probably still seeking Drapers whereabout, in order that he might help them with their enquires. ;)
ps, Port Piries constabulary are also seeking to intervue Draper, with regard to the disapearence of the large bell that used to dwell in the front street, and was rung to indicate when a train was going to cross said street.

[ 14 December 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]

Kaptin M
15th Dec 2001, 03:46
Was that a Vicar by name, or Vicar by nature, Comrade Draper? And what inspired this bout of Aussie bashing? Did you improperly proposition his wife-sister? Taswegians have extremely inticate family relationships, as I'm sure you're well aware.

As for the bell in Port Pirie - not ONE train has crossed the street since its disappearance. I say that without a word of a lie!!! :mad:
And weren't there some delightful ladies to be found after dark, in THAT small town!!

tony draper
15th Dec 2001, 03:52
No, he was a genuine Vicar and had a reasonable left jab, unfortunatly he had never come across a south paw before, as I understand it, most Tasweigians have webbed right hands, so are unacoustomed to being biffed in that fashion. ;)

PS. Draper will say no more of these events for all he knows you could be in the pay of the Tasmanian Peelers, Kaptn. ;)

[ 15 December 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]

Kaptin M
15th Dec 2001, 08:19
For anyone who hasn't visited Oz, but would like to experience some of our culture, click on the following - speakers ON: http://kevin.bloody.wilson.com.au/

15th Dec 2001, 10:06
Hey Mirkin'
Poor me born a POM and raised a Tasmanian

Not only that but you obviously learnt how to swim (You SA Bunny!!!!)

Bwaaa Haaaa Haaa Haaa Haaa Heeee Heee

<Wipes tear from left eye!>


GTG! :D :D

DX Wombat
15th Dec 2001, 16:45
Kaptin M, I fear you have misinterpreted the function of D&G. It is to ensure that Capt P can keep an eye on some of your, how shall I put it? ....less cultured countrymen. We Poms are civilised so don't require such supervision. :D :D :D

15th Dec 2001, 17:31
The truth cannot be denied, but can be clarified:

Indeed we Australian men are charming, polite and romantic. But never at once - our minds can't co-ordinate three tasks plus breathing.

Our accents are like melted chocolate. But only if you've lost either the sense of taste or the sense of hearing. If both are still intact we can easily sound like a grasshopper being fed into an industrial shredder.

We do look good. Well, actually yes we do.

We make you laugh. This, of course is a subjective thing, but I think you may be laughing AT us and not WITH us. Unless you find jokes about whinging poms and Tasmaninas amusing in which case, you're only human.


16th Dec 2001, 00:03
Well, I notice we Aussies were smart enough to be able to rate a PPRuNe forum just for ourselves - Dunnunda & Godzone...haven't noticed a POMS forum anywhere

Try looking at the ATC ISSUES forum....there are enuf bloody whinging POMS there to fill a Norwegian Container Ship....If ya know what I mean ;)

DX Wombat
17th Dec 2001, 00:57
Mirkin, what GTG doesn't seem to realise is that you were probably forcibly removed from civilisation by your parents and removed to Tassie. However you appear to have managed to retain some of your native pommie cunning and intelligence. :D :D :D