View Full Version : Sainthood.

tony draper
5th Dec 2001, 20:40
Who would Pruners elevate to Sainthood?.
Only two reasonable modern individuals allowed, not necessarily identifiable.
As one living on his Jack, Draper would
make he that devised the Microwave Oven a Saint.
And a strange one for those not involved with the instalation of various systems in offices, banks,buildings ect,the Chap who invented the suspended ceiling. ;)
So for Draper
St Ceiling
St Gigahertz??
PS, Isn't it strange that one has to know how to spell a word before one can find it in a dictionary?,Draper just tried to find the word, beatify?baetification,buietify, you know, the act of making someone a saint.
If Draper knew how to spell it he wouldn't need the bloody dictionary, but in order to find it ???? ;)

[ 05 December 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]

5th Dec 2001, 20:51
Sainthood Candidates
1. Whoever invented beer.
2. Whoever invented non-drip paint.
3. Whoever invents non-drip beer.

Shake Warmly By-the-Throat Candidates
1.Whoever invented Artex ceilings.
2.Whoever invented "Theme Pubs".

From the above it may be deduced that I've just spent two days painting an Artex ceiling (That swirly-patterned plaster) while gaggin' for a beer. Project complete, pub ahoy!

5th Dec 2001, 20:53
Mr. Draper:

I have found that Google will help with spelling: If ya type in the wrong spelling, Google will ask: Did you mean this instead?

Ah for sainthood: Must be the guy that invented Pilsner Beer.
It has a good ring to it: "St. Pils".

That is my vote.

And, uh hows about the dude that invented pretty girls? "St. Sweet Stuff" ?

Uhm, perhaps not.

Bah. Real mean cook their food in greasy iron skillets.

tony draper
5th Dec 2001, 20:58
Draper agree's T D cook first in grease, but it can be warmed up in seconds the next day.
Artexing is easy Mr G, just buy lumpy paint. ;)

PS, Draper knows someone who asked a painter and decorator in all seriousness where he could buy that lumpy paint, honest. ;)

[ 05 December 2001: Message edited by: tony draper ]

5th Dec 2001, 21:02
Artex ... Is it similat to Stucco Ceilings?

TD, I though real men go out and get wings hehe ....

bubba zanetti
5th Dec 2001, 21:13
The inventor of quilted two-ply toilet tissue... St. Kleenex or something ...

St. BirthControlPill ... ah, yes ... this most noble of all inventions paved the way for a life of promiscuity for me ... bless his or her heart ... Saintly indeed !!

Just looked ... it was Frank J. Colton who invented my much loved little tablet ... so it would be St. Frank ...!


[ 05 December 2001: Message edited by: bubba zanetti ]

5th Dec 2001, 21:30
The person who invented beer probably is a Saint already. (If not, should be, you’re right there.)

But the person that really should be Sainted is the person that bottled/canned it! I will call the Vatican at once and get the ball rolling.

Here are a few more;

The person that invented the remote control for the television.

Indoor plumbing.

The thingy that turns the light off and on in the refrigerator.

For that matter the person that invented the refrigerator, to keep beer cold.

Pop tops on beer cans. (Only when one has been out in the middle of nowhere without a can opener to open beer, can one really appreciate the true gift to mankind the inventor of the pop top has made.)

Ice chest to keep beer cool. (I know, one can always drink hot beer, but.)

Spell check. (Especially for idiots like me.)

THE PILL! (I do remember the 60’s) (Sigh)

Hotel rooms that one can rent by the hour. (See above)

Pprune. (Humm, St. Danny?)

Let me think about this and I will have some more.

[ 05 December 2001: Message edited by: con-pilot ]

5th Dec 2001, 21:31
Yeah RW, real men get wings over at Harry's.\
Tonight may be a good night for it.

My wing's 'n beer low level light is blinking furiously: It is telling me something and I am listening.

The Brits ought to try the hot/garlic chicken wings with German beer. Instead of their fish 'n chips served in dirty newspapers...
Plumpudding and kidney pai.
(How could these guys build empires and win wars? :( )

Slightly off topic again, but St. Draper would approve: It is all about feeding the lusty flesh. ;)

tony draper
5th Dec 2001, 21:43
You got to be wealthy to afford Fish n Chips now T D, its rapidly becoming a luxury food, incidently the dirty newspaper wrapping has been specialy make paper, with phoney newsprint on it for years, not like the good old days. ;)

5th Dec 2001, 21:54
Was George dubyah behind the cannonization of St Chad , ? Patron saint of indecisive elections.

bubba zanetti
5th Dec 2001, 22:23
I suppose to many St. Philo as in Philo Farnsworth- the inventor of television, could be a satan or a saint. I tend to waffle... depending on the quality of the last thing I have just watched... regardless it may be the most influential invention of all time.

And my one true heartfelt saint ... Mr. Service ... few worthier than he ... and the one true Canadian bard ... substitute aircraft for the gold ... and it still rings true ... sigh ... :)

"There's a race of men that don't fit in,
A race that can't stay still;
So they break the hearts of kith and kin,
And they roam the world at will.
They range the field and they rove the flood,
And they climb the mountain's crest;
Theirs is the curse of the gypsy blood,
And they don't know how to rest.

If they just went straight they might go far;
They are strong and brave and true;
But they're always tired of the things that are,
And they want the strange and new.
They say: "Could I find my proper groove,
What a deep mark I would make!"
So they chop and change, and each fresh move
Is only a fresh mistake.

And each forgets, as he strips and runs
With a brilliant, fitful pace,
It's the steady, quiet, plodding ones
Who win in the lifelong race.
And each forgets that his youth has fled,
Forgets that his prime is past,
Till he stands one day, with a hope that's dead,
In the glare of the truth at last.

He has failed, he has failed; he has missed his chance;
He has just done things by half.
Life's been a jolly good joke on him,
And now is the time to laugh.
Ha, ha! He is one of the Legion Lost;
He was never meant to win;
He's a rolling stone, and it's bred in the bone;
He's a man who won't fit in."

[ 05 December 2001: Message edited by: bubba zanetti ]

[ 05 December 2001: Message edited by: bubba zanetti ]

[ 05 December 2001: Message edited by: bubba zanetti ]

tony draper
5th Dec 2001, 23:09
OH, better not get Draper started on the works Mr Service .
PS, who the hells Phillip Farnsworth.

PPS, Charlie Mops was the guy who invented beer, there used to be a long involved pub song about the Gent. ;)

bubba zanetti
5th Dec 2001, 23:15
Oops .. looked it up :o should be Philo Farnsworth .. invented television in 1928.

I know some chap named George Singeon Quimby from Newcastle will have invented TV in 1926 or some such other Draperism ! ;)

[ 05 December 2001: Message edited by: bubba zanetti ]

tony draper
5th Dec 2001, 23:22
Very well Mr Z,
Incidently, Mr Service like 99% of all great men, hailed from Northern England. ;) ;)
Done it now Draper. :(

bubba zanetti
5th Dec 2001, 23:27
Ah.. yes, you are right Lacashire I believe ..befor emigrating to Canada ... sadder still, for you Mr. Draper, that he chose to retire in France !!! :D ;)

Here is a picture of his home in Preston, Lancashire .... ;)

[ 05 December 2001: Message edited by: bubba zanetti ]

tony draper
5th Dec 2001, 23:45
Here's something for you Mr Z,
a hint dropped in Mrs Z ear and you got a crissy stocking filler. ;)

6th Dec 2001, 00:40
TV was invented by a Scotsman named BAIRD was it not?

The person who invented the seedless grape;

St Seedless, (also the patron saint of Birth-Control).

The person who invented 'standby', so that on the morning of the dreaded dental appointment one can ring up and say, "Just called out, back in about ten days, will call you then, 'bye"

St Standby

[ 06 December 2001: Message edited by: G.Khan ]

7th Dec 2001, 12:40
Well, there have to be more saints than this, surely?! :)

7th Dec 2001, 14:24
I believe that the Mafia have their own patron saint - Saint Hood

7th Dec 2001, 15:02
Can females be Saints ??

(question both serious and not :D :eek: ;) )

7th Dec 2001, 21:03
Almost correct Mr Khan; TV was invented by Yogi Bear so that he could have his own show. He also invented picanic baskets as I recall.
Mr D. It was lumpy paint; getting the paint lumps to correlate with the ceiling lumps was the problem. Next time it needs doing I'll spray the ******.

Edited to edit it.

[ 07 December 2001: Message edited by: Gainesy ]

8th Dec 2001, 01:21
Mrs. Pankhurst gets my vote!!

8th Dec 2001, 03:04
St Seedless, (also the patron saint of Birth-Control).Wasn't that St. Vasectomus? :D

And flaps babe? Your argument is circular - without her you don't get a vote, so we'll have to discount that one! :D

PS - love you anyway! ;)

8th Dec 2001, 07:32
Traveler ... ALL females are saints!

Answer both serious and not.