View Full Version : Joke for Vicars

5th Dec 2001, 17:01
Three Vicars chatting about a bat problem in the belfrys of their churches:-

1st Vicar, "I couldnt get rid of them. I borrowed a shotgun, but only succeeded in blowing holes in the church roof, and all the bats came back again!"

2nd Vicar "Well, I was more humane. I had them all caught in a net, drove 200 miles and released them.By the time I got back, they'd been back for hours......"

3rd Vicar, "Well,I sorted mine out very easily......."
The others were astonished, and wanted to know how.
"Well," he said, "It was easy. I baptized them,confirmed them, and I havent seen them since!!!!" :D :D :D

Professor TailSpin
5th Dec 2001, 17:17
A cab driver reaches the Pearly Gates and announces his presence to St.
Peter, who looks him up in his Big Book. Upon reading the entry for the
cabby, St. Peter invites him to grab a silk robe and a golden staff and to
proceed into Heaven.
A preacher is next in line behind the cabby and has been watching these
proceedings with interest. He announces himself to St. Peter. Upon scanning
the preacher's entry in the Big Book, St. Peter furrows his brow and says,
"Okay, we'll let you in, but take that cloth robe and wooden staff."
The preacher is astonished and replies, "But I am a man of the cloth. You
gave that cab driver a gold staff and a silk robe. Surely I rate higher
than a cabby." St. Peter responded matter-of-factly: "Here we are
interested in results. When you preached, people slept. When the cabby
drove his taxi, people prayed."

7th Dec 2001, 00:26
Similar situation, but it's a Pope and a Lawyer in this one.

Lawyer gets a Porche and a penthouse apartment with a pool on the roof, Pope gets a rusty old push-bike and a flat in an depressing tower block with an elevator that doesn't work.

The Pope is naturally not impresed, but St. Peter explains "It's all a matter of supply and demand - we've got many popes here but that's the first Lawyer we've had :