Why the kiwis lost the RWC semi final

[EngineOut]

John Mitchell asked Eddie Jones after the Semi Final. "Eddie, I thought I had the journey planned, how did you beat me?"

Pretty simple, replied Eddie " I picked my players for their intelligence and asked them just one question".

"That simple?" said Mitchell. "Yep," replied Eddie, "pick one of my squad and see how he does."

Mitchell thinks for a while then nominates Mat Rogers. Eddie calls him over & asks him, "Who is the child of your Father & of your Mother who is not your Brother & is not your Sister?"

"Ah simple Eddie", says Mat, "it's me". "Well done Matty", says Eddie, and Mitchell is very impressed.

Mitchell returns to the Hotel & wonders about the intelligence of his team.

He calls in Rueben Thorne and asks him "Who is the child of your

Father & of your Mother who is not your Brother & is not your Sister?"

Rueben thinks & thinks & doesn't know the answer. "Can I think about it a bit more Mitch & I'll give you an answer tomorrow ?"

"Of course", says Mitchell, "you've got 24 hours. But it is very important that you come up with the answer"

Rueben goes away, thinks as hard as he can, & then he calls in his team mates.

Carlos Spencer thought it might be his Grandpa but wasn't sure.

Aaron Mauger was certain that it couldn't be anyone.

Alli Williams refused to answer in case he was sacked for not knowing.

Steve Devine owned up to having failing the test and thats why he had to come to New Zealand and play for the All Blacks.

Joe Rocokoko thought it would be an Uncle in Fiji who had been adopted as a child.

Leon McDonald went into the foetal position.

The rest of the team wouldn't even hazard a guess.

20 hours later, Rueben is very worried that he still has no answer with only 4 hours to go.

Eventually Rueben, thinks "I know, I'll ring Mehrtens. He's bloody smart, he will know the answer".

He phones Mehrtens. "Merts tell me who is the child of your Father & of your Mother who is not your Brother & is not your Sister?"

Very simple says Mehrtens, "its me".

"Of course", says Rueben and rings Mitchell. "Mitch, I've got the answer: it's Mehrtens".

"No, you idiot", says Mitchell. "It's Mat Rogers."

[troppo]

yeah good giggle mate...
but in the real world...
half the team cant sing the national anthem let alone answer a question like that
the team cant adapt quickly enough the opposition tactics
they are missing the experience and maturity off a lot off dumped players
mitchells been lucky with the results til now...

i was that confident the AB's were going to lose I put money on it:ok:

[always inverted]

Yep, I think that they were just basicly outplayed by a better team, the ab's ran round like a bunch of monkeys.

Troppo, good on you mate, hope you cashed in on that one, the missus wouldn't let me put a bet on the game... with odds like that you could have payed off the mortgage !!!!

[Eurocap]

You got to give it to the Wallabies.

When the chips are down they come up roses. It was pretty obvious how to beat the ABs. They had played the same game plan all year.

Merhts was targeted at the last RWC for the same thing.

$100 on the Wallabies was worth losing IF the ABs had won.

:ok: :ok:

[wessex19]

Forwards win matches. always has been, always will be. Watched the Sat night replay a number of times now (sober), Forwards gave George clean ball almost continiously from the kick off, he seemed to have all day at the base of the ruck, bringing Wendell in close for the straight hit-ups, Larkam for running angles with support from what appeared to be a cast of thousands. It was text book rugby. Hopefully, George Smith will stay in Jonny's face, for Jonny has a great boot, but he is no Mark Ella. GO WALLABIES

[Hempy]

Forwards win matches. always has been, always will be. Watched the Sat night replay a number of times now (sober), Forwards gave George clean ball almost continiously from the kick off, he seemed to have all day at the base of the ruck, bringing Wendell in close for the straight hit-ups, Larkam for running angles with support from what appeared to be a cast of thousands. It was text book rugby.

Spoken like a true forward :rolleyes: ;)

[Home Brew]

Maybe they lost because they were reviewing their NAS airspace procedures and were flying VFR in class "E" airspace!!:D

[Mungo]

It's 40 years this week since JFK was assassinated and the conspiracy season is well and truely underway, so Mungo, in his infinite wisdom ;) has decided to present the world with a new conspiracy theory which has absolutely nothing to do with JFK, but everything to do with why the Kiwis lost the WRC semi-final.

This is the real reason why the ABs lost......They were told to!!!

Now why on earth, or indeed how on earth, could anyone come up with such a ludicrous suggestion?

Easy.... it's bound to wind up more than a few of our Australian cousins, and more importantly it's probably close to the truth.

During the anthems it was easy to see that the ABs did not want to be there.
During the game they were just going through the motions, "playing like monkeys" as someone has suggested may be a bit harsh but does have a ring of truth to it. This from a team that has been playing with flair all year and has been voted 'Team of the Year" by its peers in the game.
Penalties given away seemingly willy-nilly right in front of the post by a team that had up until that game given away very few penalties through out the tournament.
Probably most telling of all would have been GG being completely and utterly humble in victory in the after match interview.... since when has that been one of his endearing traits, or for that matter a trait of any red blooded Aussie?
Add to GG's humbleness, Eddie Jones's humbleness (finger down throat, retching sounds :yuk: .... I can't take it!!!!).

How could it done? Again, easy.

Someone suggests to the IRB "This is our tournament, we're the defending champions and we need to be in the final. If we're not, it's going to cost us (the ARU and the IRB) lots of money, and besides which a little upset in the semis will add a bit of spice to the Tournament. Of course England loosing to France would probably work too."
IRB....."We see your point, old chap, especially about the money, but don't like the last part.....can't have England going down to the French, what!!! Leave it with us."
IRB....."I say, All Black chappies, how would you like to loose the semi-final?"
ABs...."Get real (or words to that effect)!!!!!!!!!"
IRB....."Don't be like that. You do want to continue playing professional rugby in sanctioned IRB countries after your AB careers have finished (whilst bringing out pen and Blacklisted Players Book), which incidentally will be on Sunday November 23rd, if you get my drift."
ABs....."Ahhhhh, well yes, we feel one of those off days coming on."
IRB....."Jolly good, try not to make it too obvious, chaps."

As I said......easy!!!!

OR MAYBE IT REALLY WAS JUST AN ABSOLUTE SHOCKER BY THE ABs....will we ever know for sure?

I have been called a "perfect idiot" in this forum in the past, but now as indeed back then I am far too modest to consider myself perfect in anyway!!!!

Methinks it's time for Mungo to retreat and duck for cover.

[High Altitude]

Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa
Baaaa Baaa
Baaaa
Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa
Baaaa Baaa
Baaaa
Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa Baaaa
Baaaa Baaa
Baaaa

[Mungo]

Ahhh, High Altitude.... your eloquence, your style, right up there with the greats of Australian literature.

If you're really good, teacher might show you where the 'c' key is tomorrow.

But seriously, it is nice to see this Aussie humbleness in victory thing disappearing. It was about as classy as Bob Hawke bursting into tears on TV. OOOPPPPS - should that name be mentioned here...sorry.

Keep up the good work, Hi Alt, but careful you don't get a nose bleed.

[Hap Hazard]

Bitter sweet, fantastic final result, so good to see those Aussies get beaten on home soil by ENGLAND!!
After all the c*** the Aussies dished out to the English in the press, but then "dads army" was always a classic!!
Well done to the England team..WORLD CHAMPS!!!!
Bet that put a few smiles on some NZ faces too! :}

[High Altitude]

Swing Low
Sweet Chariot...........

:p :p :p :p :p

[Monkey Magic]

Don't forget to take a close look at the cup gents- you'll notice that Australia has been printed on there *twice.*

I seem to remember Australians being much more restrained 4 years ago when we won every cup available....... interesting.

[wessex19]

I heard All Black coach John Mitchell was sacked today. Ah well, the kiwis will have to suck it and see!!!!

[Thump & Go]

Slipped into the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't watching huh uncoolguy?
If you look hard I'm sure you'll find an English second language forum somewhere:ok:

[Thump & Go]

Who said anything about Chinese?,,,,,,,,

[the road atlas]

OK folkes from our most easterly state, don't take these personally now, face it, your bums got kicked !!!!!!
lol
(Poms don't count anyways.......) !!!


Q. What do you do for a drowning New Zealand Rugby player?

A. Nothing. You could drag him to the top, but he'll choke anyway.


Q. What's the difference between the All blacks and an arsonist?

A. An arsonist wouldn't waste 5 matches.


The All Blacks are bringing out a new bra! Plenty of support, soft and no CUP!!!


Q. Did you hear that the NZ Post Office has had to recall their latest stamps? They had pictures of the All Blacks players on them.

A. People couldn't figure out which side to spit on.


Q. Did you hear about the Kiwi politician who was found dead in a All Black jersey?

A. The police had to dress him up in women's underwear in order to save his family from the embarrassment.


Four surgeons are taking a coffee break. The first one says, "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up everything inside them is numbered."

The second surgeon says, "Nah, librarians are the best; everything inside them is in alphabetical order."

Third surgeon says, "Try electricians. Everything inside them is colour-coded."

The fourth one says, "I prefer New Zealand Rugby players. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and bums are interchangeable."


A man meets a friend and sees that his friend's car is total write-off and covered with leaves, grass, branches, dirt and blood.

He asks his friend "What's happened to your car ?"

"Well," the friend responds, "I ran over Carlos Spencer".

"OK," says the man, "that explains the blood... But what about the leaves, the grass, the branches and the dirt ?"

"Well, he tried to escape through the park."

:ok: :O

[coolguy]

Seems pritty sad, this is what they were so populat and they still cannot deliver . Fu:mad: :} Kiwis, never want to learn from other people,

[robair]

I think they lost on purpose so they could hang **** on us Aussies:( :confused: :uhoh: :\

[Thump & Go]

Thanks (un)coolguy for reminding us why genetic modification cant be all bad,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,:D

[squire]

S for Sensational - "the best Olympics ever" - is how the world remembers the 2000 Olympics in Sydney, with Australian sport having continued to glow in the radiance long after.

But all that may be about to change, and change radically. Sporting Matilda could be preparing for its last waltz.

Sydney was a model Olympics and, although Australia has never had an empire, the 2000 Games will be looked back on as the two and a bit weeks which cemented, and in some cases launched, its dominance in world sport.

Australian sport at every level was in complete harmony, with its various centres of excellence producing men and women of the highest class both at team and individual level.

It was the sporting template for the world. Australian triumphalism abounded.

In Sydney they won a total of 58 medals, including 16 golds. Only the three super powers - the United States, Russia and China - finished ahead, while outside the five rings Australians were dominant in cricket and rugby.

Furthermore their coaches, like their wine-makers, were in heavy demand with tennis's Andre Agassi shocking those in the US by bringing in Adelaide's Darren Cahill to replace Brad Gilbert. Was there no end?

The Socceroos failing to qualify for the World Cup was a minor blemish but the first seismic shock, albeit not on the sporting field, came when Shane Warne tested positive to the banned drugs hydrochlorothiazide and amiloride, both diuretics. Short of this happening to Ian Thorpe, there could have been no greater blow to the Australian sporting psyche. It was greeted with disbelief, and still continues to be brushed off by many in the cities and the bush as a dreadful injustice.

Any chortles in Britain were quickly stifled when Australia won cricket's version of the World Cup and continued to dominate the game at Test level.

But the cracks began to widen with England's rugby union victories, first at Twickenham and then in Australia.

Here, finally, was proof positive (other than Warne's) that the decline and fall of Australian sport was finally under way.

And this was most gloriously underlined last week by the relatively modest showing by the Aussie swimmers in Spain - only six golds compared to 13 at the last world championships in Fukuoka, Japan, in 2001 - coupled with the All Blacks' 50-21 drubbing of the Wallabies at the weekend.

A touch disappointingly, the Australian swimming chief, Scott Volkers, failed to blow his top, but there was altogether better news from the rugby field where the former Wallabies coach Alan Jones launched a wonderfully encouraging attack on the current occupant Eddie Jones, whom he accused of "betraying" the country's talent.

Now this was more like it.

For too long now, Australian sport has been woefully short on blame culture, which has, of course, made Britain what it is.

Not Alan Jones, though. "Sometimes it's better to be not coached than badly coached," he declared.

"The real tragedy is that Eddie Jones, the unsuccessful coach, has the permeating influence right throughout Australian rugby.

"God only knows how the players work out what he means... I have no idea."

Don't stop there, Alan. Let's hear it for the rest of Australian sport.

All this time we've been living under the false assumption that an Australian accent guaranteed success and was a cure-all for everybody else's troubles. Clearly we were all deluded.

Now there is blood in the water and, if the world champions fail to beat South Africa in Brisbane on Saturday night, it will be the first time the Wallabies have lost four consecutive matches for 21 years.

And it won't stop there. Clive's boys will triumph in the rugby World Cup, British swimmers will win more medals in the Athens Olympic pool, assuming it holds water, than Thorpedo and his chums, while the Ashes are as good as back.

Australia the fair? Australia the failures.

There, don't you feel better already.

[Monkey Magic]

Squire, you sound like you're describing the end of the world.......


I don't think this supposed 'downfall' has started yet, we've lost a few events but we can't win everything. If you're comparing our current sporting prowess to the incredible medal haul of the late 90's early 00's then yes the trophy cabinet is a little less full, but to say;

"Australia the fair? Australia the failures."

is rediculous! If Australian sporting success can be descibed as a failure then British sporting success will have to be descibed as pathetic- or even worse- insignificant.

Clive and the english team did well in the world cup, but don't forget my friend we've done it twice before so you might want to bide your time before making future predictions.

And the Ashes are as good as back??!! My, where do I start........

[Thump & Go]

Ummmmmm??? right, I think I got it.:E bahaha! You're good.....no really I mean it.

[Monkey Magic]

WTF? :confused:

Do you read what you wright coolguy?

I hope for both our sakes that you have a serious mental condition that will prevent you from stepping into an aeroplane.

Just out of interest, how old are you and how many toes do you have?

[HotDog]

Good windup coolguy. There is no way they would have let you in to heaven with your literary skills, let alone issue you with an ATPL.:{

[Monkey Magic]

Sounds just like your english......

I'm glad you had the sence to get rid of your last comments.