View Full Version : Old Totty

10th Nov 2003, 06:39
Helen Mirren (on the TV now - thread inspiration)

Felicity Kendal

Lorraine Kelly (ha, just for Drapes)

Sophia Loren

Liza Minelli (?)

The bird that does Newsnight sometimes (Kirsty something)

10th Nov 2003, 07:17
Jane Asher.....top quality tart and can cook one as well.

Onan the Clumsy
10th Nov 2003, 08:16
Dianna Rigg

Pant pant pant :}

10th Nov 2003, 17:34
Patrick Thomas - freshly scrubbed, smelling of soap and smoking a cigar.

arthur harbrow
10th Nov 2003, 18:02
Delia Smith and Victor Meldrews wife

10th Nov 2003, 18:28
Arthur! Victor Meldrews wife....hmmmm will speak to you about that later!

What about the woman who does the Kenco Adverts?

keyboard flier
10th Nov 2003, 21:11
do you mean Cheri Lunghi (1st) or Dervla Kirwin now.

Nigellla Lawson,

10th Nov 2003, 22:59
..vera duckworth..quality..

but genuinely

maureen lipton or raquel welch

Biggles Flies Undone
10th Nov 2003, 23:16
Kim Basinger & Michelle Pfeiffer - what a Win Double that would be!

Susan George is still pretty fit :ok:

Shaggy Sheep Driver
10th Nov 2003, 23:42
Tricky's mum......:)


Fly Stimulator
10th Nov 2003, 23:44
Mrs T.

11th Nov 2003, 00:15
Viz magazine used something on similar lines to this - "Borderline Boilers - your head says no, but your nu*s say go"......:p

Anthony Carn
11th Nov 2003, 00:40
Marianne Faithful

Debbie Harry (old-ish, sort of, downhill certainly)

The French totty who sang "Je t'aime".....:hmm: ....me memory's going :(

Biggles Flies Undone
11th Nov 2003, 00:45
The French totty who sang "Je t'aime"..... (http://www.janebirkin.net/) .... yep, still gets it :ok:

keyboard flier
11th Nov 2003, 01:03
Michelle Collins,
Maud Adams,
Jacqueline Bisset.
:ok: :ok: :ok:

Mac the Knife
11th Nov 2003, 01:14
Jenny Agutter - what a classic and still fabulous.

That scene of her swimming nude in the outback brings tears to my ol' eyes.....

11th Nov 2003, 02:05
Sofia Loren.

Captain Janeway, Kate to her intimate friends....

Marge Simpson.

Stifflers' Mom (from American Pie).

Honor Blackman.

Charlotte Greens' voice on Radio 4.

Jan Ravens in Dead Ringers.

Amanda Donohoe

Dervla Kirwen

So many women and only one life time!
Shall I go on?.

11th Nov 2003, 04:54
Definitely Jenny Agutter. Always had a thing for her.

Michelle Pfeiffer

Felicity Kendall

Meg Ryan

Kathleen Turner

Kim Cattrall

Stevie Nicks

11th Nov 2003, 05:50
The one who looks after the shop in my local small brewery.

Forty-ish, married, kids, elegant.

I can't afford the dinner but I enjoy reading the menu.

11th Nov 2003, 06:13
Michelle Pfeiffer for sure.

Not thinking about older tottie right now though as just set up a date with a v. fit 19 yo blonde (me 30).

Gusty (over the moon)

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

henry crun
11th Nov 2003, 06:15
No question about number 1. Sofia Loren.

2. Wanda Ventham

11th Nov 2003, 06:27
Penelope Keith, Angela Thorne [To the Manor Born] Lisa Azziz [Sky News] Fern Britton [Before the weight gain!] Sophia Loren Edwina Curry plus most of the above:ok:
we aim to please, it keeps the cleaners happy

11th Nov 2003, 14:51
Angela Thorne

Josephine Tewson

Patricia Routledge if you prefer a more "comfortable ride".

Annette Crosbie is nice too.

11th Nov 2003, 20:24
Olivia Newton John..
Especially in them stitch on kecks

11th Nov 2003, 20:29
Penelope Keith & Linda Bellingham please.

11th Nov 2003, 21:00
amanda burton (silent witness)

jane seymour

11th Nov 2003, 23:10
How about Honor Blackman (Pussy Galore in "Goldfinger")

14th Nov 2003, 01:17
we aim to please, it keeps the cleaners happy

14th Nov 2003, 02:12
Oh b*gger - reading this list just realised how old I must be - thought about it and realised hmmmm old women must mean older than me..... that rules out 98% of them then.

anyone that can breathe...

14th Nov 2003, 02:19
Ye know, Lulu looks a lot better now than when she had the beehive hairdo. Would happily do 'er nowadays


Ian Corrigible
14th Nov 2003, 02:40
- Carol Vordermann
- Phyllis Barber
- Wilma Flintstone (I would go with Betty Rubble, but Id be thinking of Wilma)



simon brown
14th Nov 2003, 06:36
Jenny Seagrove
Joanna Lumley

14th Nov 2003, 06:47
Dolly Parton.
Saw her on Oprah Winfrey the other day.
She calls 'em her weapons of mass destruction.:D

14th Nov 2003, 06:58
Martin Shaw
Liam Cunningham
Jeremy Paxman
Michael Kitchen
Simon MacCorkindale

and of course.... Pierce Brosnan



14th Nov 2003, 08:06
No-one mentioned Dot Cotton, did they?

Phew, that was close :yuk:

Glad someone else mentioned Annette Crosbie first. Nice but I wouldn't want to admit it without backup :E

Christine Talbot, (Yorkshire TV presenter) is still my favourite. Prettiest eyes I've ever seen.....but compared to me, she's not old anyway!

Niaga Dessip
14th Nov 2003, 08:13
Indeed, Lulu without a doubt

and Felicity Kendall


14th Nov 2003, 12:30
Mr Crun... Wanda Ventham? Thought I was only one old enough to even know who she is, let alone harbour desires for her.

Also Sigourney Weaver (Ghost Busters)

Agree about Jamie Lee but her mum Janet Leigh was better (Psycho was OK, but scene in train with Sinatra in Manchurian Candidate was el numero uno).

And why has no-one mentioned Susannah York? Scene in Battle of Britain movie in London hotel with Chris Plummer... husky voice and stockings... Luftwaffe raid, needs someone to protect her... ME ME ME ME. Sorry, I'll go and get counselling, officer

astir 8
14th Nov 2003, 16:23
Minnie Bannister

15th Nov 2003, 04:37
French Biggles ??? She's from UK even if she had the good taste of moving to France :} :E ;)

15th Nov 2003, 05:19
Agreed, Carol Vordermann and Jenny Seagrove do it for me. Along with Meg Ryan. and Amanda Burton and Jenny Agutter! The list goes on! :O


16th Nov 2003, 02:55
I forgot to mention Lyndsay Duncan.

16th Nov 2003, 05:39
Is Julianne Moore old enough to count?? Oh to be Dirk Diggler!!!!:O

16th Nov 2003, 05:45
Do you mean "Weapons of Mass Distraction? "
Dot Cotton.....EEEUukk SHE SMOKES:mad:
Now, Susan Stranks [Magpie]
For the "Oldies"...... June Palmer, Margaret Nolan, [Carry On] and Toni Francis :ok:
we aim to please, it keeps the cleaners happy

16th Nov 2003, 07:47
Ah, chiglet, dear chap

Margaret Nolan... aside from Carry-Ons she was also the body-double for Shirley Eaton in Goldfinger when script called for said doxy to get painted in gold and kark in hotel room. And (a friend told me) she also appeared in Parade magazine (those of you who have heard of said organ will know what I mean) and stiffened the sinews of many a young cove in the 1960s.

Moreover, Trudie Goodwin (Sgt June Ackland in The Bill) comes close to top of my list. They've made her part more sexy of late, with v. close fitting costumes (spray-on, some of 'em) revealing her divine figure (legendary in TV acting profession, an insider tells me). All that and the uniform too!


16th Nov 2003, 20:07
Gail Grainger (Moira Plunkett in "Carry On Abroad")

17th Nov 2003, 01:55
Hey, cm.. Hands off my sister !!!

You'd better be in a marrying mood in the morning !

Now where's me shotgun ....

:p G

17th Nov 2003, 14:08
If Gail Grainger looks and sounds as good today as she did then, count me in...

Add Valerie Leon to the list as well.

Civil Servant
17th Nov 2003, 22:23
Francesca Annis (if the spelling is correct).

She's yummy even if it's not!!

Biggles Flies Undone
17th Nov 2003, 22:29
Hey flyblue! It wasn't me that said she was French - I just posted the link. Anyway, I prefer Italian girls ;)

18th Nov 2003, 01:25
Saw a photograph of Michael Howards wife this weekend, what a great piece of Old Totty.

She definately gets my vote


18th Nov 2003, 02:34
Amanda Barrie [Carry On and Corrie]
Mavis [Open all Hours and now Corrie]
Liz Frazer [Carry on Cuising and Confessions]
we aim to please, it keeps the cleaners happy

18th Nov 2003, 02:41
Honor Blackman gets my vote for a wrinkly ride.

The actress who plays Delboy's wife, Raquel, in Fools and Horses.

Helen Mirren

VFE. :}

18th Nov 2003, 04:30
Hannah Gordon (Watercolour Challenge - how sad am I?)

Linda Bellingham

Diane Weston (Robert Lindsay's ex-wife)

Luscious one and all

tony draper
18th Nov 2003, 04:40
Oh yes definatly Linda Bellingham, that bird who used to be in the Liver Birds and is now in Emerdale is still quite smart IMHO, funny thing, everybody used to fancy the other one, but she has not worn as well.

18th Nov 2003, 05:44
That was Nerys Hughes...

Linda Bellingham was in that Oxo advert and took over from Carol Drinkwater in the James Herriott thingy.

Ooops just gained about a thousand "sad git" points.... :ooh:

18th Nov 2003, 07:53

I met Lulu "several" years ago when I diverted into Athens in a sick RAF C130, had a few beers round the pool with her and her backing singers (all female), she was great fun. Agree, she looks as good now as she did then.

Mick Stability
21st Nov 2003, 19:00
How about

Samantha Janus

Caroline Langrishe

and BBC girls

Gwenan Edwards

Carol Kirkwood (weather)

have to agree with Linda Bellingham and Belinda Lang though:E

21st Nov 2003, 19:16
'Old' Totty may be old to some, but not others..

But Samantha Janus???

22nd Nov 2003, 05:10
Saw a docco on the reunion of the cast of The Sound of Music a couple of years back. Discovered I rather fancied Julie Andrews. Didn't she do a bit of topless in one of hubby Blake Edward's films?

Carol Vorderman's name has cropped up a few times in this thread. Some years ago I purchased a ... ahem ... a gentleman's leisure periodical, and to my astonishment and delight there was the double of Ms. Vorderperson gracing the pages and showing ALL the goodies! Good heavens! Deep, mysterious and unspeakable Pavlovian effects take place even just hearing the Countdown music!!!

22nd Nov 2003, 05:12
Well, no-ones got it right yet so I might as well do it for you.

The answer's simple. Mrs fobs

The Nr Fairy
22nd Nov 2003, 05:13

The film was "SOB".

And do you remember which periodical it was perchance, maybe they have archives . . .

surely not
22nd Nov 2003, 05:43
I agree with many of the previous nominations but howabout Hannah Gordon and Linda Lusardi as 2 new nominations

22nd Nov 2003, 05:48
Does Sarah Beeny count as older totty ? (property ladder) If so she wins hands down...

If not she's still a luverly honey and I will re-post this in a few years... !

22nd Nov 2003, 07:31
Don't forget
Elke Sommer
Carenza Lewis [time Team]
we aim to please, it keeps the cleaners happy

25th Nov 2003, 04:20
Surely not,
I had already nominated Hannah Gordon (see page 4) so you are not alone..... and I forgot; how about Kay Burley (Sky News) and the probably lesser known but just as gorgeous Emma Jesson, Central TV weather girl? Num Nums...........

25th Nov 2003, 06:05
Susan Hampshire, anyone? Excellent condition for a lady of 65 years.

Or, how about Shirley Bassey? I hereby volunteer to be her toyboy

Actually, belay that. I've just had a very naughty thought about Jenny Bond, the ex-Royal reporter lady. Bags I hold the ladder next time she trims her hedge, so to speak!! :E

25th Nov 2003, 09:22
Catherine Schell: played the shape-changing slinky thing in Space 1999; also the doxy who couldn't stop giggling in Return of the Pink Panther

Little Blue
25th Nov 2003, 09:38
Hey, Smudger,,
I prefer Charlie...though Emma in her leather numbers...hmmmm
Now Fern Britton....pre-chubber...she was one horny chick, then
but now.....EVEN HORNIER.......more for yr money !...

Roll on 1030, tomorrow morning....move over , Schofield ! ;) ;)

25th Nov 2003, 16:28
I can claim some sad git points by pointing out that Lynda Bellingham can be seen topless in the classic "Sweeney!" feature film from 1977 - though she probably didn't qualify as old totty then.

tony draper
25th Nov 2003, 17:33
She can also be seem flashing her knickers in Adventures of a Taxi driver, err so I'm told.

25th Nov 2003, 22:35
I want to slide this in here because if I tried to make a thread out of it I would be banned.

If some of the ladies mentioned here qualify as Old Totty, then so does Meg Ryan, and it just so happens I went to see her latest film the other day. To those of you who loved her in Sleepless in Seattle and You've Got Mail, so did I. Isn't she lovely? Well, her mouth still qualifies as one of the greats, along with Catherine Zeta-Jones in Intolerable Cruelty, but she has moved up several places on my list of all time spunks.

(Have I posted this somewhere else? Sorry if I have, it's Tuesday. :ooh: )

I feel compelled to mention here that in the first ten minutes of Jane Campions film there is the most realistic and explicit depiction of a BJ I've seen in a mainstream film. And then Meg gets her gear off! Whoo hooo!

Ahem, sorry. I mean she then beautifully depicts the angst of a sexually frustrated intelligent woman in the post 9/11 New York zeitgeist. :E

Nice tits, Meg!

25th Nov 2003, 22:50
Ahhh Mr Draper you are correct, I'm sure you also get a flash of breast and nipple!:oh: Robin Askwith eh....I wonder what ever happened to him?

Biggles Flies Undone
25th Nov 2003, 22:52
Was just flicking through the latest GQ at the hairdressers and chanced upon the review for Meg's latest film. Feel I must go to see it (purely for research purposes, you understand....). :O

27th Nov 2003, 17:47
Gaby Roslin and Gaby Logan

tony draper
27th Nov 2003, 17:54
I had a strong fancy for Lady Jane in Lovejoy, its being repeated on cable at the mo but I stopped watching it when Lady Jane left.


27th Nov 2003, 18:08

I can tell from these forums (forget the Latin) that you occupy a higher intellectual plane than the lowest common denominator and that your reasons for seeing In the Cut would be completely honourable and artistically based.

Let me know what you think of her tits. :E

1st Dec 2003, 06:33
How's about Jodie Foster?

Divergent Phugoid!
2nd Dec 2003, 08:06
how about these...

Gill Gasgoigne... Cats eyes
Vikki Michelle... Alo Alo
Louise Hunt, Susan Maughm, Fiona Fullerton... Gold Blend
Marym D'abo... Bond girlie
Caroline Munro.. Bond and aftershave ads 70's
Carol Royale... Crimes of passion 70's
Caroline Langrische and Phyllis Logan ... Lovejoys ladies

And theres more.....

tony draper
2nd Dec 2003, 08:20
One liked the Blond German lady in Alo Alo, she looked spiffing in a Basque.
I can remember when June Witfield was a very sexy lady,in fact quite a few of the ladies of comedy were sexy in their younger days, and some of the news readers, worra bout Angela Rippon, great legs she had.

2nd Dec 2003, 08:23
Bruddy kids, the lot of you. Wet behind the ears. Worrabaht Bette Davis eh! Whoarr!!:ok:

Onan the Clumsy
2nd Dec 2003, 09:09
my list of all time spunks :confused: :hmm: :uhoh: :oh:

Perhaps it's an Australian expression :O

2nd Dec 2003, 10:22
Chrissie Hynde.

The Christina Aguileras and the other bimbo beach bunnies that parade as pop princesses these days ought to take a look and see what REAL sex appeal is.

Divergent Phugoid!
2nd Dec 2003, 21:28
And then there was...

Alexandra Bastedo The Champions
Kate Omara Dr Who??
Anita Harris
Pamela salem Dr Who again??
Isla Blair
Ursula Andress 007
Sian LLoyd weather girl
Gabrielle Drake...
Suzanna Doyle Bally K
Jan Harvey Howards Way
Lesley Anne Down Upstairs please!!
Mimi Rodgers
Francis Barber
Julie Graham
Glynnis Barber Makepiece mmm
Sue Barker
Dianna Weston 2 up 2 down
Sian Williams Current bbc1 news TOP TOTTY!!
Anna Hartman Alo alo
Suzanne Danielle Sam Torrences wife(makes a nice cappucino!;) )
Cheryl Ladd
Jenny Hanley Magpie
Heather Thomas
Joanne Cassidy Blade Runner
Ester Mcvey Pint sized sexpot!
Angela Douglass Carry on films
Gilly Johnston P3
Kelly Mcgillis Top Gun
Anne Archer Patriot Games

And of course Princess Dianna!!

Amaising what you can do whilst waiting for the fuel bowser!!

:ok: :ok:

3rd Dec 2003, 23:30
I've had one name in mind from the outset of this thread but I haven't been game to mention it. But given some of the pups that the kids here think of as old, and a precedent having been set, I hereby nominate..... errr.....


Sorry hon, you know I mean well.......


tony draper
4th Dec 2003, 08:16
Chers on telly right now, wearing thigh high stilletto boots an suspenders,and seemingly little else, oh yes indeed missus.

4th Dec 2003, 19:15
Divergent - I was going to mention Alexandra Bastedo but you beat me to it...

A friend of mine was interviewed by Jenny Hanley (on her show on Saga Radio) a few months ago. He reckoned he still would....

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