oxymorons

[rambone]

Hala pork is one,Brittish cuisine is another.

[troppo]

australian humour could be added:confused:
:}

[Desert Flower]

What about "We are from CASA & we're here to help you". :E

[Anti Skid On]

How about Air NZ and add any from the following - financially viable, independent, reliable and has a modern jet fleet (Airbusses excepted!)

[Sperm Bank]

Geoff Dickson is all smiles.
Brett Godfrey is a fiscal genius.
Sperm bank is sexually challenged.

[Torres]

Military intelligence.

Air NZ will pay AN debts!

:}

[pullock]

To be a member of the board you don't have to have an understanding of the industry, you just have to have an understanding of buisiness principals :yuk: :yuk: :yuk:

[Sharpie]

pm 'little john' the 'sheriff' of the asia pacific!

[max rate]

And "Australian wit":yuk:

[Stunty]

american intelligence

[Kaptin M]

Iraq's Weapons of Mass Destruction.

[DJ737]

Qantas LCC:p

DJ737
The Roo Rooter:E

[Gnadenburg]

"Bring It On"- a defenceless New Zealand Air Force's motto on their web page.

[The Euronator]

Airservices Australia Management

[Pharcarnell]

Was "Honest Politicians" left out intentionally? or just a slip of the memory.

[Capt Claret]

Australian pilots getting upset over this (http://www.pprune.org/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=105863) thread! :hmm:

[capt cynical]

A QF marketing W@#$%^R saying>>

"Safety before Sevice"

:\

[The Enema Bandit]

My girlfriend doesn't have a sore bottom.

[Anti Skid On]

Anyone who has been to NZ may have seen the Tui beer ads on billboards; they usually say something like

"my mates won't trash the house" and the punchline is "yeah right"

They did a competition for new ones and my mates suggestion of " I promise I won't cum in your mouth" wasn't accepted for some strange reason

Perhaps we could have some aviation "yeah rights" such as

"I really don't mind reverting back to a right seat job" or

"I really don't need loss of licence insurance"

[Sharpie]

....or the Ozzie 'love-boat' with 50,000 pax en-route Saudi - Auckland! Baaaalardy 'ell.

[splatgothebugs]

The front page of AIR NZ annual report stating

"IT'S NOT ABOUT MONEY"

and the first page in reads

"IT'S ABOUT PEOPLE" ;)

[RYAN TCAD]

Oxy MORONS. Yep - there's plenty of them in aviation!!!

[Doctor Smith]

"By 1990, no Australian child will be living in poverty":E

Not an oxymoron, but spoken by a moron:yuk:

[Jet_A_Knight]

Affordable safety.

[FLICKER]

Best job I've ever had, working for the worst company I've ever worked for

[TIMMEEEE]

Has anyone mentioned, "Military Intelligence?"

[Torres]

Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?

Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

Why is bra singular and panties plural?

Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?

Christmas is weird. What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?

:}

[Hugh Jarse]

"A slipping gear could let your M203 grenade launcher fire when
you least expect it. That would make you quite unpopular in what's left of your unit." - Army's magazine of preventive maintenance.

"Aim towards the Enemy." - Instruction printed on US Rocket
Launcher.

"When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend. - U.S. Marine Corps.

"Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit the ground." - U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop.

"If the enemy is in range, so are you." - Infantry Journal.

"It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed." - U.S. Air Force Manual.

"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons." - Gen. Mac Arthur.

"Try to look unimportant; they may be low on ammo." - Infantry Journal.

"You, you, and you . . . Panic. The rest of you, come with me." - U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.

"Tracers work both ways." - U.S. Army Ordnance.

"Five second fuses only last three seconds." - Infantry Journal.

"Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever volunteer to do anything." - U. S Navy Swabbie.

"Bravery is being the only one who knows you're afraid." - David Hackworth.

"If your attack is going too well, you're walking into an ambush." - Infantry Journal.

"No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection." - Joe Gay.

"Any ship can be a minesweeper... once." - Anon.

"Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do." - Unknown Marine Recruit.

"Don't draw fire; it irritates the people around you." - Your Buddies.

"If you see a bomb technician running, follow him." - U.S.A.F. Ammo Troop.

[ache]

Why is there only one Monopolies Commission?

[Yankee_Doodle_Floppy_Disk]

Humble Pilot := :cool:

Control Freak :E :ok: