Best Sayings !!!

[Avnx EO]

The other day, a guy known as SkyMutt gave me these. I thought they were great, and figured there must be a lot more out there.....

When once you have tasted flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long to return.
Leonardo Di Vinci

Instrument flying is an unnatural act, probably punishable by God!
Gordon Baxter

To invent an airplane is nothing. To build one is something. To fly is everything!
Otto Lilienthal

................................................
Of course then there are the less heady....

Helicopter's don't fly, they simply beat the air into submission

Or, Helicopter's don't fly, they're simply so ugly, the earth repels them,

Or, He's so out of it, he thinks the 1553 bus comes at 7 minutes to 4 (for avionics types:8 , and hence the signature.)


I always wanted to know the exact quote from that Navy guy in the forty's who said something to the effect that helicopters were an interesting curiosity, but would never have any practical use.

Bring-em on, heady or not! :ok:

[deeper]

f**k, i've never seen that happen before.

"just keep an eye on it"

[Randy_g]

I think Mr. Sikorsky came out with the best line about helicopters back in 1947, when asked of what use are helicopters.

"If you are in trouble anywhere in the world,
an airplane can fly over and drop flowers,
but a helicopter can land and save your life"

Cheers

[Matelot B'stard]

Overheard in an engineering crewroom..

"you can teach a chimp to ride a bike, ever seen one fix a punture"??


And upon the departure of a (Disgruntled) female pilot..

"She had a face like a bag of smashed crabs"

[NickLappos]

For Gun Pilots everywhere:

If you are in a fair fight, you didn't plan it properly.

[Flingwing207]

When a flight is proceeding incredibly well, something was forgotten.
- Robert Livingston, 'Flying The Aeronca

[C4]

Flying is easy !!
Just throw yourself at the ground-- And MISS .....
:ok:

[Gomer Pylot]

And the most frightening words of all:

"Watch this!"

[trimpot]

Pilot leaving the crewroom to go to the toilet says,"I'm just going to give birth to a crewman". Crewman sitting in the crewroom yells after him, "Don't forget to wipe your pilot".:p

[Jcooper]

Heard these on another forum

A navy pilot saying, "If you flare to land you squat to pee" (sorry ladies)

"Helicopter pilots get it up quicker and go down more often"

"If it floats, flies, or f##ks, its cheaper to rent than to own"

If you have an engine failure at night, "turn your landing light on at 500' AGL, if you dont like what you see turn it off"

[trimpot]

Crusty old pilot doing an IRT is asked a series of questions by the chicken trainer. One answer is clearly wrong and the chicken trainer points this out. The crusty old pilot replies that his answer was right, it's just that he had been asked the wrong question.

Some people are never wrong are they Nigel! :E

[Nigel Osborn]

Thanks Sev, I needed that.:{ :8

[Whirlybird]

Learning HOW to fly takes around 45 hours. Learning WHEN to fly takes a lifetime.

[Check 6]

A helicopter in flight is "10,000 parts flying in close formation."

:ok:

[Tmflyer]

The rest of the story....

Yes, a helicopter is 10,000 parts flying in close formation...Additionally...

Rotary Wing aerodynamics confirms that these parts are constantly in an enviornment that encourages them to separate from each other

Finally, in military machines, each of those 10,000 parts were purchased from the guy who made it for the cheapest price

[trimpot]

Nigel,
you know you are the only b@stard that could get away with it, and you did!!!!!:ok:

You also know that you taught me more about the S76 than anyone else.;)

[rotorusa]

...We soon saw that the helicopter had no future, and dropped it. The helicopter does with great labor only what the balloon does without labor, and is no more fitted than the balloon for rapid horizontal flight. If its engine stops, it must fall with deathly violence, for it can neither glide like the aeroplane, nor float like the balloon. The helicopter is much easier to design than the aeroplane, but is worthless when done...

Famous quote from an otherwise knowledgeable aeronautical engineer...

[Lu Zuckerman]

To: Tmflyer

Finally, in military machines, each of those 10,000 parts were purchased from the guy who made it for the cheapest price

What makes you think it is any different for civil aircraft to include helicopters?

:E

[rotorboy]

They could teach a monkey to do this job, but the monkey wouldnt keep comming back.


rb

[Av8r]

Here's a couple for you:


"If women were meant to fly, the sky would be pink not blue."
:\


"Helicopters: 10,0000 bits of metal fatigue rotating around an oil leak."
:ooh:


And to finish off, a little exchange in the cockpit after the C.P.'s ADI had fallen over on taxi:

Captain: "....it says in here (in the M.E.L.), 'approved for single pilot VFR ops',... your gunna have to get out"

Unfortunately he was very serious.
:sad:

[Pete O'Tewbe]

Examiner to candidate after an IR renewal where the ILS was dreadfully executed:

"Hmmmmmm. Most people wouldn't have done it like that....."

[Flingwing207]

An optimist is a helicopter pilot that smokes and thinks he's going to die of cancer.

[rwm]

flingwing207,
We all know it is the drink that will kill him.

[Hingeless Rotor]

“When I die, I want it to be like my grandfather, quietly in his sleep…………..

Not like his four passengers, who went down screaming !!”

[SASless]

Don't squat with yer spurs on!

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Never miss a good opportunity to shut up.

If you realize you are digging yourself into a hole....first thing to do is stop digging.

Even bad guys have good days.

[ifish]

Among the many postings scrawled on the wall of the hangar loo at the NT epicentre of mustering in OZ (while doing my slave time a long time ago) was this.

"Once I couldn't even spell engineer and now I are one"

Just joking guys-love your work:D

That other saying " Just keep your eye on it", was also the standard engineer reply to pilot questions of snags. So much so they created an unofficial company T-Shirt with that very slogan across the back.

[212man]

The three most useless quantities in aviation:

1. The sky above you
2. The runway behind you
3. The fuel left in the bowser

[moosp]

Also known as ARIAs by Uncle Roger of Flight International, (Always Remembered Instructors Advices) were:

From an R22 instructor in Queensland, spoken with a woman's strident Queenies accent, "I don't like going backwards in confined areas" as yours truly was doing same,

And from the same woman, "I don't like flying 40 knots over water" Well remembered advice.

Also from Jimmy Procter of BA whenever there was a weather related accident, "Should have been in the tea bar...".

[Check 6]

A helicopter does not fly. It beats the air into submission.


"Kick the tires, light the fires, brief on guard, first off is lead."

Check 6

:ok:

[Miles Magister]

Over heard on the intercom of a large aircraft whilst taxying in.

"Did we touch down, or were we shot down?"

[Jcooper]

"Eagles may soar but weasles don't get sucked into jet engines"

[SASless]

Check Six.....That was SOP for tactical emergency flights in my Hook unit in 68-70!:ok:

[Flingwing207]

If all you can see through your canopy is the direction you were previously traveling intermingled with dust, and all you can hear is commotion from your co-bubba, things are not at all as they should be.

[Hughesy]

My first instructor said this, and it has stuck in my head.
"A helicopter is like a dirty B****, she does what she wants to do, but you have to make her do what you want to do!"
:O ;) :} :}

[Flingwing207]

Using the Cyclic:
If you push the cyclic left, the helicopter goes left.
If you push the cyclic right, the helicopter goes right.
That is, unless you keep pushing the cyclic all the way right, then you will probably go left while the helicopter swaps ends.

[Avnx EO]

From one of our test pilots..."There's no big trick to instrument flying: Just remember to keep the dirty side down." :}

"Ask 6 helicopter pilots a question, and you're sure to get at least 7 different opinions." ;)

[Thud_and_Blunder]

From a test pilot who obviously didn't subscribe to the "keep-flying-it-to-the-bitter-end" school of thought:

When it's all going horribly wrong and there's nothing else you can do, then unstrap, turn around, drop your trousers and sit on the cyclic. It won't help you, but it'll give the Accident Investigation Branch (or NTSB, or whoever you have in your neck of the woods) something to think about...

[RDRickster]

I saw this above the urinal at the FBO in Winchester (OKV) today, and thought it was pretty funny...

ATTN: Pilots

Pilots with short pitot tubes and low manifold pressure, please TAXI UP CLOSE!

[Spaced]

I heard this from a 500 pilot:
If you can stand in it I can land in it.

[John Eacott]

Dave Mallock (Malarky Jim) of RN fame,

"Go the way you're pointing, and point the way you're going" :ok:

[Jcooper]

Pre checkride words of wisdom

"dont F#ck it up"

During pinn/confined area operations doing low reacon on approach talking about forced landing areas.

"and riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight NOW were F#cked"

[cows'n'fish]

More sayings from engineers I've worked with when presented with a snag list.
"Let it develop" or "See what happens, it may heal itself":suspect:

[RDRickster]

Currency does NOT mean proficiency! :ugh:

[Flingwing207]

When a prang seems inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity, as slowly and gently as possible.
– (advice given to RAF pilots during W.W.II.)

[ShyTorque]

Never fly anything that involves using your arse as an undercarriage.... :ooh:

[Weight and Balance]

My father's standard opening line when he was instructing on helicopters in the 60s:

"There are 25 instruments in front of you, and the only one you can trust is the clock."

[Bad medicine]

When it's all going horribly wrong and there's nothing else you can do, then unstrap, drop your trousers and stick your thumb up your bum. At least then you'll have one good fingerprint for the identification.


The only time you've got too much fuel is when you're on fire.

[Gibbo]

From 161 Recce Sqn (about 10 years ago)

"Take no passengers!"

[ryuzu]

Ahh I love some of the pilot sayings, particularly the pessimistic ones....

This is particularly for fixed wingers.

"In a twin engined aircraft, in the event of one engine failure, the remaining engine will fly you to the scene of the accident"


Refering to the interesting handling characteritics of some light twins when an engine fails...

Hehe.

[trimpot]

Rather heated volleyball game in Timor after a long day of flying. Ross, "There's no 'i' in team Seve". Seve, "True Ross, but there is a 'u' in c-nt" :p

[Genghis the Engineer]

From my structures professor at Southampton University:-

An aerodynamicist is capable of assuming absolutely anything.... except for responsibility



From the pilot of the first FJ I ever flew in:-

In the event that the aircraft is unrecoverable, I will call "Eject Eject Eject". Not wishing to hurry you, I'll not pull my own handle until the second "E", so you have the first "E" and the "J" in which to comply. If you don't wait for me, that's fine and we can discuss it on the ground.



Anonymous

I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my father, not screaming in terror like his passengers



Also anonymous, but at least rotary...

The basic problem with helicopter operations is that tailrotors don't work very well in anything denser than air

G

[Bob Upndown]

You know when you've landed with the gear up; you need full power to get to the terminal

:E

[Dantruck]

I'd rather be down here wishing I was up there...

...than up there wishing I was down here.

[Ascend Charlie]

You can tell an airline pilot
by the spread across his rear end
You can tell a navigator
by his sextants, maps and such,
You can tell a chopper pilot
by his nervous tics and twitches,
You can tell a fighter pilot -


but you can't tell him much.

[bigruss]

Keep an eye on it, if it gets any worse give me a ring

[Hingeless Rotor]

Looping a helicopter is probably like anal sex………….
It’s no doubt great……I just don’t want to do it. :O

[Miles Magister]

I was once told by an old QFI/QWI when he was teaching tactics;

"Old age and treachery will triumph over youth and skill!"

[Matelot B'stard]

Rules and procedures.. the last hiding place for those without the wit and wisdom to actually do their F:mad: G job!

[Avnx EO]

If God had not meant man to fly, he would have never placed a stick between his legs.

[Dave_Jackson]

Avnx EO,

Maybe God meant for men and woman to fly. He provided this stick for jump takeoffs. :D :D

http://www.unicopter.com/JumpTakeoff2.gif

[Flingwing207]

In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum and Plexiglass going dozens of miles per hour, and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose. Same holds for trees, water, buildings and larger animals. Draws don't count.

[Gibbo]

"those who can, do; those who cannot, teach." :ok:

[taxying]

THY ROTOR RPM IS THY STAFF OF LIFE....

This was one of 10 "commandments" posted on a board RAAF 5 Squadron UH-1B Training Flight , (Fairbairn) Canberra.

I have never forgotten it and it has served me well

Wish I could remember the other 9

[TIMTS]

I. He who inspecteth not his aircraft gives his angels cause to concern him

II. Thou shalt not become airborne without first ascertaining the level of thy propellant

III. Let infinite discretion govern thy movement near the ground for thy area of destruction is vast

IV. Thy rotor RPM is thy staff of life, without it thou shall surely perish

V. Thou shalt maintain thy speed between ten and four hundred feet lest the earth rise and smite thee

VI. Thou shalt not make trial of thy center of gravity lest thou dash thy foot against a stone

VII. Thou shalt not let thy confidence exceed thy ability for broad is the way to destruction

VIII. He that doeth his approach and alloweth the wind to turn behind him shall surely make restitution

IX. He who allows his tail rotor to catch in the thorns, curseth his children and his children's children

X. Observe thou this parable lest on the morrow thy friends mourn thee

[Flingwing207]

"those who can, do; those who cannot, teach." "...those who can't teach, administrate; those who can't administrate, post on Internet newsgroups."

TEN (other) COMMANDMENTS FOR HELICOPTER PILOTS

1. Keep always thine RPMs, for without them the gates of heaven shall close to thee, and thou shalt pass directly to Brick City.

2. Guard thy tail rotor as thy loins; it is a sacred thing and its loss maketh the earth spin, and rise up and smite thee.

3. Pickest thou up and sittest thou down with great care lest thy machine roll in the mud like the swine and makest thou an impoverished pedestrian.

4. Loadeth not thy machine unevenly or excessively, lest thou wander and stumble like the braying ass.

5. Run not thy fuel nor oil dry, for surely it is easier for the camel to pass through the eye of the needle than for a fool to autorotate in the wilderness.

6. Linger not in the curve of the deadman, for it tempteth fate, and shall bringeth thee back pain.

7. Swoop not low without good reason, for many are the snares of Edison and Bell; their wires yieldeth not, and makest thee a yo-yo.

8. Loseth not sight of the earth if thou are not a master of the black art of “hard IFR,” else thy machine shall seek the earth without thy council, and thy friends shall mourn the passing of a fool.

9. Loseth not thy G’s for the sake of pushover or other folly, lest thy blades smite thee, and journey on without thee.

10. Descendeth not without airspeed, for the air beneath thee is wrathful, and wouldst conspire with the granite to swallow thee up, far from the seeing eye of SAR.

[High Nr]

Oh No....

Those that can....Do

Those that can't do....Teach

Those that can't teach....Administrate

Those that can't administrate..... Audit

And those that can't Audit,....... Moderator comes to mind!!!!

[ProfessorFate]

From Winston Churchill:
"When you have to kill a man, it costs nothing to be polite."
From Raoul Julia:
"The First Rule of Italian Driving: what is behind me is not important."
From me:
"The only thing cooler than a helicopter is a cooler helicopter."
and
"If we knew what it was going to do, it wouldn't be Experimental."

[Coriolis]

I'm amazed 'best sayings' has run 5 pages without some rude chap pointing out that:

Of all the whining things on an aircraft, it's only crew who continue after shutdown...;)

[DynamicallyUnstable]

This thread is too cool...

Helicopters...Gods swingset.

[Flingwing207]

Hovering... ...is for people who love to fly but have no place to go!

[Happy Landing !]

"Better to ask a stupid question on the ground than one in the air"

[Buitenzorg]

"The fire light is on, Frank! We're all gonna die! We're all gonna die!!!..... Oh, sorry...my mistake. That's the PA system light..."

The Far Side

[the wizard of auz]

Last week I couldnt spell pilut............ now I are wun.

[too young to die]

An aeroplane by its nature wants to fly, and if not interfered with too strongly by unusual events or by deliberately incompetent pilots, it will fly.

A Helicopter does not want to fly:
Its is maintained in the air by a variety of forces and controls working in opposition to each other, and if there is any disturbance in this delicate balance, the helicopter stops flying, immediately and disastrously.

There is no such thing as a gliding helicopter, this is why being a helicopter pilot is so different from being an aeroplane pilot, and why in general, aeroplane pilots are open, clear-eyed, buoyant extroverts, and helicopter pilots are brooders, introspective anticipators of trouble.

They know if something hasn't gone wrong it's about to!

[BlenderPilot]

"It is not necessarily impossible for human beings to fly, but it so happens that God didn't give them the knowledge of how to do it.

It follows therefore, that anyone who claims he can fly must have sought the aid of the devil.

To attempt to fly is therefore sinful."

Roger Bacon
13th-century philosopher

[3B3]

While standing on the ramp in Cold Bay Alaska comtemplating a 175nm trip out to the rig in some really really low cielings, next to nothing vis, and high winds, I asked Joe Moyes what he thought of the weather...He looked around and said,

"Takeoffs are optional, landings are mandatory!"

[Dantruck]

1…Helicopters come with manuals
2…Helicopters don’t mind if you fly other helicopters
3…Helicopters don’t object to tie-downs
4…Helicopters don’t mind you reading helicopter magazines
5…Helicopters stop whining in less than three hours
6…You can ask your mates intimate questions about their helicopter
7…Helicopters can be overhauled
8…You can keep more than one helicopter legally
9…Helicopters come with a guarantee
10..Your helicopter doesn’t feel threatened when other helicopters hover close to you

Sorry Whirly...please don't be offended. I'm a nice guy really. Just ask Mrs Dantruck:uhoh:

[Flingwing207]

'Tis better to break ground while heading into the wind than to break wind while heading into the ground

[Johe02]

A whole bunch from an e-mail that was doing the rounds. A bit fixed wingy though. . .:rolleyes:

Subject: Verily, It Is Written...in Aviation

Flying isn't dangerous, crashing's what's dangerous.

It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there, than up
there wishing you were down here.

The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.

The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the
pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually see the pilot start sweating.

The probability of survival is inversely proportional to the angle of
arrival. Large angle of arrival, small probability of survival and
vice versa.

You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The
trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.

Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience
usually comes from bad judgment.

The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you,
runway behind you and a tenth of a second ago

There are old pilots and there are bold pilots. There are, however, no
old bold pilots.

[spinningwings]

How about ..........

"You can't make strawberry jam outa goat ****, try as hard as you like ...but it isn't going taste right!"

As normally applied to helicopter operators who try to do a task with the WRONG type of helicpter ....

;) :rolleyes: :ok:

[Thumper2]

Post by Flingwing

"In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum and Plexiglass going dozens of miles per hour, and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose. Same holds for trees, water, buildings and larger animals. Draws don't count."

Obviously you have not seen a west coast heli-logging operation in process! Trees are are loosing a thousand fold. Go get em boys!

:D

[Matelot B'stard]

Saw one quote a long time ago, where a fatigued pilot proceeded onto the wrong taxi way and hold point from where he had been directed by ATC. The Flower in the Tower proceeds (IN female fashion!!) to give this poor guy dogs abuse for a couple of minutes, and finishes her tirade by instructing him that due to his incompetence he can sit where he is for 20 minutes til the next slot. The next tx was unidentified, and said simply...

"Hey honey, wasn't I married to you once?":E

[Rigga]

From a friend who got a back-seat in a Phantom - while suiting up...

Friend: What happens if there's a problem?
Jockey: It's just like being on a Ship - the Captain's the last one to leave...
Friend: Right...
Jockey: What happens is - I'll shout "Eject, Eject, Eject"...and then you're the Captain.

[DOUBLE BOGEY]

Rebuke for a particularly irritating split-arse in the LHS:

"Just remember that this is a Cockpit and not a Box Office"

"CRM only works in a gender nuetral environment"

DB

[Attila]

Never fly in the same cockpit as someone braver than yourself:ok:

[Lonewolf_50]

"A day without autorotations is a day without sunshine." (Spoken by Tom Freeland, LCDR, USN, about a quarter of a century ago ... or maybe LCDR Jack Coyne).

(Note: That remark was about practicing autorotations, not having to do any) due to a malfunction of one sort or another).

[HOGE]

There is a fine line between "Well Done!" and "What the f**k did you do THAT for?"


You're only as good as your last pay check, or your last f**k up, and you will be remembered for the f**k up!

[ascj]

Always fly as far into the crash as you can.
Bob Hoover

rescue on arriving at the crash: 'what happened?'

test pilot: 'Don't know i only just got here myself'

[SASless]

My Three Golden Rules for surviving until Retirement



"Limitations are for Normal Operations!"

Hint....."Crashing is not a Normal Operation!"


Also....

"Ass...Tin....Ticket! The correct order of priority!"

and....

Aircraft are merely reusable containers built to protect the occupants!

At some point they get used to do just that!

[smo-kin-hole]

The first person to the scene of the accident is...the pilot!

The last thing to pass through his mind is.....um, never mind.

There is nothing so foolproof that it can stop a DETERMINED fool.:p

[BedakSrewet]

" Hij vloog goed, maar niet lang"

Henk Klusman

[gafa1]

a mate talking about a machine while slinging,
"it pulls like a school boy watching porn":ok:

[Harry76]

Whilst not terribly aviation related, "I'd rather a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy".

[JimmyH]

From my first instructor:

"You know, just because we are pilots doesn't make use better than other people. It just makes us a whole lot cooler!" - Steve "Puff" Rogers

[NewST]

How do you know that there is a pilot in the room? He will tell you!

I think Winnie said it..."Nothing more exhilarating then being shot at and missed!"

[Sir Niall Dementia]

My first instructor, Jake Jackson while teaching me to hover; "Gently boy gently! Its like w***ing a hamster, if you don't do it gently its f***ing messy!"

[winchop]

A crusty old captain I used to fly with would always say when asking for the undercarriage to be lowered...
'Dangle the Dunlops please!'

[jim63]

About flying helicopters,

It's the most fun you can have with your hand between your legs and not go blind.

[RotaryWingB2]

"If you think maintenance is expensive, try having an accident."

[PlasticCabDriver]

"In the event of an engine failure, we will look forward and crash visually."

And I always thought it was:

""those who can, do; those who cannot, teach; those who cannot teach, examine."

[Pure Hover]

You know the part in 'High Flight where it talks about putting out your hand to touch the face of God? Well, when we're at speed and altitude in the SR, we have to slow down and descend in order to do that.

USAF Lt. Col. Gil Bertelson, SR-71 pilot, in 'SR-71 Blackbird: Stories, Tales and Legends,' 2002.

[Retro Coupe]

"Don't assume, check."

"Any landing you walk away from is a good one."

"Definition of experience: An ever increasing time period between mistakes."

"Learn from the mistakes of others, because you'll not live long enough to make them all yourself."

"If you're sat there with nothing to do, it means you've forgotten to do something or something is about to happen."

"Death is a once in a lifetime experience"

[TorqueItUp]

First rule: Everything is done into wind - except taking a pee.

[Aubrey.]

Even your worst day in the air is always better than your best day on the ground.

[lelebebbel]

Even your worst day in the air is always better than your best day on the ground.

I beg to differ

[topendtorque]

""those who can, do; those who cannot, teach; those who cannot teach, examine."


The bottom of the food chain being a Consultant.

[andreblor]

Heard this one on the r/t a few years back, can't remember the callsign of the a/c

ATC - "XXX say altitude"

Smart-assed plank pilot - "Altitude"

ATC, without even pausing for breath - "XXX, say Doneb, hold"

Only one winner there i'm afraid

[SA Aviator]

Don't know if it has been mentioned but can't be bothered to read them all...

"Hovering... An expensive way of going nowhere"

[Lonewolf_50]

First I've heard that about hovering ... but I'll use that when it's needed. I like it.

[fly911]

FAA motto: "We're not happy 'til you're not happy".

[Rosh]

Another reference to hovering. Not sure if its already been added.

"To fly is heaven..... to hover is divine!"

[topendtorque]

Quote from the recent Finke Desert Race winner of the bike section.

He won as a rookie, only a couple of people have done this.

Previously he was a moto-cross rider, ended up in hospital for 12 months and thought, off road racing has got to be easier. He is young and superbly fit, runs a few miles before and after a long race.

His quote in the winners podium?

"Keep your eye on the line,
and take your time.

He won by several minutes, hate to see how quick he would have been if he had been stepping on it.

perhaps it's a good quote for our folk?

[Phoinix]

One that came around a few minutes ago from my captain in a 212: "I can feel my balls just went into resonance" :)

[bellsux]

My favourite when describing the Squirrel... Climbs like a raped ape.

[Arm out the window]

The 6 Ps: Prior Preparation Prevents Piss-Poor Performance.

[Shawn Coyle]

Proper preparation, prior planning and plenty of practice prevent piss poor performance.
Just to go you one better. (Or is it 4 better?)

[bloodycrow]

with complimentary hand gesturing , a co-pilot reply to a troublesome question

"f#$k nose over my head ask the captain"

[Arm out the window]

The 10 Ps are even better...

There's also the formation pilot's mantra - MMSOBGYTAST (mustard, mud, **** or blood, grit your teeth and stay there)

but, to contradict the above, when in doubt, bug out!

[Arnie Madsen]

Ancient Chinese Proverbs ....

.....man who fry helicopter upside down have ball up
.....woman who fry helicopter upside down have crack up

[PO dust devil]

If you can't be well liked.......then be well hated!

[jonnyloove]

Opinions are like arse holes every one has got one..!!:ok:

[chopabeefer]

From a test pilot mate, who flew loads of different types, but did not know the checks for each one...

'If it moves, push it forwards, if it's electric, turn it on. Shiny switches everyday and dusty ones for emergencies'

Heard from an engineer at Shawbury when a student was takin an inordinate amount of time to do a walkround: 'Christ, is he flyin' it or buyin' it?'

And my favourite politically incorrect one (made me cry with laughter 1st time I heard it...'If women were meant to fly, they would have had their flaps on their arms.':}