You Know You Are In Africa When.....
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You are called to come in and sign a contract with a national carrier at 9am, are made to wait in a cafeteria, and then are told to go home at 5pm after nothing has been signed.
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well unfortunately a lot of these are true even in south africa! but still best days of ones life can be flying in africa, you can learn a lot! but to be a part of this i have one more for you (this happened in one of the krugers national park's airports!):
- you know you are in africa when you take off and see a female lion with its 3 children chilling at the end of your runway, almost 1000 meters from where you were loading and had a smoke with a friend!
- you know you are in africa when you take off and see a female lion with its 3 children chilling at the end of your runway, almost 1000 meters from where you were loading and had a smoke with a friend!
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You know you are in Ops in African when:
You get
Phone Call No. 1: Sir, there is a cow on our ramp
Phone Call No. 2: Sir, the Air Force shot the cow on our ramp
Phone Call No. 3: Sir, the Air Force missed the cow.
Phone Call No. 4: Sir, there's a bullet hole in our hangar door!!
Or
Phone Call No. 1: Sir, there's a snake on our ramp.
Phone Call No. 2; Sir, the snake is on fire!!
Phone Call No. 3, Sir, the snake is gone into our hangar!!!
(Before anyone says anything, no, I dont like being address as "Sir", but my protests requesting use of my first name instead made others uncomfortable, so I just got used to it)
Africa is a great place with great people & it has it's has funny moments every day! You just gotta luv it.
Phone Call No. 1: Sir, there is a cow on our ramp
Phone Call No. 2: Sir, the Air Force shot the cow on our ramp
Phone Call No. 3: Sir, the Air Force missed the cow.
Phone Call No. 4: Sir, there's a bullet hole in our hangar door!!
Or
Phone Call No. 1: Sir, there's a snake on our ramp.
Phone Call No. 2; Sir, the snake is on fire!!
Phone Call No. 3, Sir, the snake is gone into our hangar!!!
(Before anyone says anything, no, I dont like being address as "Sir", but my protests requesting use of my first name instead made others uncomfortable, so I just got used to it)
Africa is a great place with great people & it has it's has funny moments every day! You just gotta luv it.
Last edited by N4565L; 16th Feb 2014 at 21:44.
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Africa is a great place with great people & it has it's has funny moments every day! You just gotta luv it.
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... when you're driving to work and some idiot monkey moto taxi driver almost t-bones into you even though you had right of way... you save his life by gassing it. Thinking 2 seconds ahead = africa. Moto taxi driver = average african
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Ah, the infamous Dar Es Salaam Suicycle Taxi. Like a horde of maniac circus monkeys on motorbikes. The concept of "consequence" seems simply non-existant going by how these idiots endanger themselves and the public. Pulling out of side roads or out of their lane and head right into oncoming traffic - full throttle - and just expect everybody else to swerve into the ditch and avoid them.
T.I.A.
T.I.A.
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Indeed Hawkeye.. funny part is they have no idea how close they were to being dead today... alls I know is when the day comes that I do hit a swahili... I ain't stopping even though it's their fault.... can't trust the crooked police out here to not twist the story
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...all I know is when the day comes that I do hit a swahili... I ain't stopping even though it's their fault.... can't trust the crooked police out here to not twist the story
And there you have it in a nutshell. If you're a foreigner or considered able to pay, you'll be squeezed until you bleed even if you're completely innocent.
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That is, if you are lucky enough to survive the mob that gathers within 30 seconds to deliver 'justice' on the spot... 
First time my boss handed me the keys to drive the company car I was told in no uncertain terms that if I have an accident I Must. Not. Ever. Stop. But instead drive on and go to the nearest police station. And if I ever - godforbid - run over a child or injure anyone to immediately call them, rush to their house, have my passport in hand, they'd have my airline tickets ready. After three years I can see his point.
First time my boss handed me the keys to drive the company car I was told in no uncertain terms that if I have an accident I Must. Not. Ever. Stop. But instead drive on and go to the nearest police station. And if I ever - godforbid - run over a child or injure anyone to immediately call them, rush to their house, have my passport in hand, they'd have my airline tickets ready. After three years I can see his point.
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Yesterday I was driving along and saw a mototaxi well ahead of me... the driver's head was lopsided to the right... i thought he must be suffering from Spinal Muscular Atrophy.. good for him for getting out and still driving a bike... as I get beside him I see he's actually talking on a cellphone jammed between his ear and shoulder.... no helmet of course.
A few days ago some guy in a Landcruiser I was driving behind on a crap side road decides to stop... so I give him a honk... then he starts backing up and before I can do anything about it.. he's put a nice dent into the hood of my car. In his defense... it was just a small dent...
A few days ago some guy in a Landcruiser I was driving behind on a crap side road decides to stop... so I give him a honk... then he starts backing up and before I can do anything about it.. he's put a nice dent into the hood of my car. In his defense... it was just a small dent...
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You Know You Are In Africa When...
...you instruct your driver to take a vehicle and go to a nearby yard to collect some previously ordered timber (a journey that should involve a left turn out of the compound, a drive of around 2kms and should take a maximum of one hour to complete) he makes a right turn out of the compound and you don't see him or the vehicle for the rest of the day and when it does eventually reappear, the vehicle has over 100 additional kilometers on the clock.
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....... when an illiterate uneducated 15 year old is given a uniform and a machine gun which he does not even know how to hold, let alone use, and is allowed to play at being a soldier or a policeman with the public as his potential victims.
....... when you call the police to say your car has been stolen and they say they don't have any serviceable vehicles and you must come to fetch them, and you say that your car has been stolen, so you can't, and they say they understand that but you must come to fetch them ..........
....... when you call the police to say your car has been stolen and they say they don't have any serviceable vehicles and you must come to fetch them, and you say that your car has been stolen, so you can't, and they say they understand that but you must come to fetch them ..........
I admit I have never flown in Africa although I flew over Egypt once, but I used to work for an American company that flew there a lot. The guy who checked me out in the 707 had taken a hit fron an SA7 in an L100. The warhead failed so he just lost an engine. No big deal. Another guy got hit an the missile worked. He did a 180 and landed immediately. The wing fell off while he was taxiing in. I just never had any desire to go there after that. Also we were flying 707s into Asmara during some sort of altercation and the airport would get mortared after landing. Guys who complained and refused to fly into a war zone were fired. Glad I had quit by then.
The other stories on here sound a lot more fun.
The other stories on here sound a lot more fun.
Thread Starter
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Thank's DPilot007....
When I started the thread back in 2008 I hoped to be still alive and happily flying in Africa......still here and still happy!!! I had two objectives - first to inform those outside of Africa just what occurs here on a day to day basis - This has two purposes also - for those who are thinking of heading to the dark continent....you know what to expect. And those who just wondered what flying on this continent was like.....well now you have some idea.
Secondly for those of us who have the pleasure to fly on this continent.....no your not crazy.....you didn't imagine it.....it actually happened.....and not only to you!!!!
Secondly for those of us who have the pleasure to fly on this continent.....no your not crazy.....you didn't imagine it.....it actually happened.....and not only to you!!!!
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... when the CAA reviews plans and allows someone to build an airstrip in the only prohibited area nationwide. Only tell him after he forked out tens of thousands of dollars that, yes, technically it sure was alright to build that airstrip there - but just not land, park, and/or take off an aircraft from it. Ever.
Tadamm!
Tadamm!