You Know You Are In Africa When.....
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...when you ask the "controller" what is the other traffic position (whose ETA is exactly the same as yours) and he answers, with an increasing pitch of his voice: "you are visual, you have to look for traffic!" Oh, Goma, I will always remember you.
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It is still Africa...
Just this morning we rocked up at the appointed time on the ramp at DAUH. No shuttle bus in sight and the temperature already heading past 40° at 8:30 a.m.
We show up every day at the same time, five days a week. Is the bus ever there waiting for us? Say what?
The fuel bowser takes everything in strict rotation, so that if you see an An-12 on the ramp you just know you are screwed! My Twotter takes 15 minutes to top off but they drive right past to spend an hour pumping kerosene into that dinosaur.
It's okay though; I like standing around in the sunshine getting a thrill from the feeling of sweat dripping off my goolies. It is one of those kinky thrills I just never dreamt of when I decided to become a professional pilot.
I just never appreciated the pleasure to be derived from a summer rainstorm in northern Europe. Water falling out of the sky... whatever next?
The other morning a bull camel gave me, "Oy, you! You looking at my cow?" Fark! Turns out I should have screamed, shouted and waved my arms or at least thrown him a breadroll. Instead I just turned and stared at him with a rather dull expression on my face. Hey it worked in Nigeria with large, angry men in uniform. I knew enough not to try some dash, at least.
We show up every day at the same time, five days a week. Is the bus ever there waiting for us? Say what?
The fuel bowser takes everything in strict rotation, so that if you see an An-12 on the ramp you just know you are screwed! My Twotter takes 15 minutes to top off but they drive right past to spend an hour pumping kerosene into that dinosaur.
It's okay though; I like standing around in the sunshine getting a thrill from the feeling of sweat dripping off my goolies. It is one of those kinky thrills I just never dreamt of when I decided to become a professional pilot.
I just never appreciated the pleasure to be derived from a summer rainstorm in northern Europe. Water falling out of the sky... whatever next?
The other morning a bull camel gave me, "Oy, you! You looking at my cow?" Fark! Turns out I should have screamed, shouted and waved my arms or at least thrown him a breadroll. Instead I just turned and stared at him with a rather dull expression on my face. Hey it worked in Nigeria with large, angry men in uniform. I knew enough not to try some dash, at least.
Join Date: Jul 2002
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That reminds me. Ferried a Lear down to Lanseria about 8 years ago. The company didn't object to me taking my then-girlfiend along, Scandinavian blonde. When pit-stopping in Accra, this huuuge local booms out at me, my bird and my colleague as we pass him in the terminal: "I like your woman - give her to me!"
This was delivered with an ear-to-ear grin, and was clearly meant in jest and in complimentary fashion.
Poor lass didn't budge from our side until out of the country
This was delivered with an ear-to-ear grin, and was clearly meant in jest and in complimentary fashion.
Poor lass didn't budge from our side until out of the country
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Its right about then you rather offer him your cousin, Smith, and his mate Wesson, and pump some lead into his face....while replicating his grin obviously.
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Great thread
This is the funniest thread ever, keep the posts coming guys. Having spent my entire career so far in Africa, I can certainly relate to all these experiences! This was my personal favorite:
We'd just landed our F.28 and were asked to make a 180 at the end of the runway and backtrack to the parking, first holding short of the intersecting runway for landing traffic, a C182. Imagine our surprise on completing our 180 to find the aforementioned Cessna on short final for the very runway we were backtracking! The tower controller screamed at him to go-around, which he did (from about 10 feet), before completing a split-arse turn to line up for the intersecting runway. When asked what the hell he had been playing at, he replied that he could have landed well short of us - no mention of being lined up with a runway 90 degrees off the one he was supposed to be landing on! On parking, the 182 pilot was asked to report to the tower to further explain himself. We watched in total amazement as the pilot stepped down from his plane and strode towards the tower building, sporting (I kid you not) an eyepatch over his right eye! He had been carrying 2 passengers who were connecting to our flight.
We'd just landed our F.28 and were asked to make a 180 at the end of the runway and backtrack to the parking, first holding short of the intersecting runway for landing traffic, a C182. Imagine our surprise on completing our 180 to find the aforementioned Cessna on short final for the very runway we were backtracking! The tower controller screamed at him to go-around, which he did (from about 10 feet), before completing a split-arse turn to line up for the intersecting runway. When asked what the hell he had been playing at, he replied that he could have landed well short of us - no mention of being lined up with a runway 90 degrees off the one he was supposed to be landing on! On parking, the 182 pilot was asked to report to the tower to further explain himself. We watched in total amazement as the pilot stepped down from his plane and strode towards the tower building, sporting (I kid you not) an eyepatch over his right eye! He had been carrying 2 passengers who were connecting to our flight.
Combine Operations
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We watched in total amazement as the pilot stepped down from his plane and strode towards the tower building, sporting (I kid you not) an eyepatch over his right eye!
Join Date: Jul 2008
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fire engine
Great thread reminds me of an incident where officials decided it would be a good idea to perfom a drill in case of an aircraft crash so they lit a fire in the bush a few km from the airport and called in all emergency services to respond. Fire engine and ambulance had a head on enroute to the crash resulting in no fire engine for the next 6 months at the airport. Finally a shiny new red one was donated by some nice donor organisation and was delivered with much pomp and ceremony. Everybody had to have his turn trying out the new fire truck including the " assistant mechie" who managed to drive it head first into a storm drain - another 6 months until they could find another donor to buy a replacment.
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And then again atr Lubumbashi with the B200... on several occasions had left the a/c overnight to find a couple of hundred litres of fuel missing the following morning... an army unit is based at the airport sleeping in tents and the suspicion was that they were selling the stuff on...it's not unusual for small amounts to be bled out for oil lamps but 200+ litres is a lot of oil lamps...
Anyway, I got into the habit of fueling in the morning rather than on arrival until we were booked to fly the big chief of Katanga region out early the following day and needed to fuel on arrival...
The morning comes for the departure... military band playing... many dignitories shaking hands with the big chief and then ... yes... we have insufficient fuel in the tanks and the whole thing takes an hour to rectify with the big boss fuming...eventually we fly him out and bring him back..
The following day I arrive to fly back to Kin and there at the tents are about 30 soldiers standing stripped to the waist each waiting to bend down and be lashed by the seargent weilding a long cane.
Anyway, I got into the habit of fueling in the morning rather than on arrival until we were booked to fly the big chief of Katanga region out early the following day and needed to fuel on arrival...
The morning comes for the departure... military band playing... many dignitories shaking hands with the big chief and then ... yes... we have insufficient fuel in the tanks and the whole thing takes an hour to rectify with the big boss fuming...eventually we fly him out and bring him back..
The following day I arrive to fly back to Kin and there at the tents are about 30 soldiers standing stripped to the waist each waiting to bend down and be lashed by the seargent weilding a long cane.
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Hearing the following conversation at lumbumbashi (and many other places....)
Lumbum TWR: xxx, cleared the LUB, descend to FL080.
xxx: umm, tower, confirm LUB is working?
TWR: negetive, negetive, LUB not working.
xxx: roger, so confirm then we are cleared visualy to the airport?
TWR: negetive, negetive, cleared direct LUB FL080!
xxx: (exasperated sigh) roger......
Lumbum TWR: xxx, cleared the LUB, descend to FL080.
xxx: umm, tower, confirm LUB is working?
TWR: negetive, negetive, LUB not working.
xxx: roger, so confirm then we are cleared visualy to the airport?
TWR: negetive, negetive, cleared direct LUB FL080!
xxx: (exasperated sigh) roger......