You Know You Are In Africa When.....
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Seldom felt so small or dumb in my life.............
Back in the early 80s I was in Goma (then Zaire) on a month long non flying assignment. To our group of three or four was assigned a cook named “Haruna”. His job was to prepare the main daily meal. The first night dinner was good and all seemed well. The second day brought another good meal and there was plenty of food. Being in our early 20s we ate up all the food and went to bed overfed. However, on day three there was obviously something odd as there was so much food it was not possible for even four 20 something year old bachelors to eat it all up. So, we had a talk (gestures & signals mostly) with Haruna about not cooking so much as not to “waste” it. The next day there was as much or more food, so it was time to bring in the translators to “straighten him out”.
Well to my complete humiliation it turned out that the agreement had been for Haruna to cook a big community meal for our group and his family as well (he had a family to feed). He had been serving us first, and then intended to take the rest of the meal to his own family for their needs. He, his wife, and their children had been without food for at least two days because we had consumed it all. We did not know all this and he could not tell us. His solution was to cook more. The more he cooked the more we ate, not wanting to waste it-“clean up the plate” and all that stuff. Seldom have I felt so small or dumb in my life………..as I did when I learned that his wife and children had been without food because we had been eating it all up.
Haruna’s graciousness and creative problem solving in the face of my stupidity still makes me wince at my behavior almost 30 years ago…….
Africans: some of the most cordial people on the planet – amazing really. And yes, I know, there is the other side of Africa as well. But that other reality of Africa doesn’t have a place in this specific memory of mine.
Humbled by life again - Northbeach
Well to my complete humiliation it turned out that the agreement had been for Haruna to cook a big community meal for our group and his family as well (he had a family to feed). He had been serving us first, and then intended to take the rest of the meal to his own family for their needs. He, his wife, and their children had been without food for at least two days because we had consumed it all. We did not know all this and he could not tell us. His solution was to cook more. The more he cooked the more we ate, not wanting to waste it-“clean up the plate” and all that stuff. Seldom have I felt so small or dumb in my life………..as I did when I learned that his wife and children had been without food because we had been eating it all up.
Haruna’s graciousness and creative problem solving in the face of my stupidity still makes me wince at my behavior almost 30 years ago…….
Africans: some of the most cordial people on the planet – amazing really. And yes, I know, there is the other side of Africa as well. But that other reality of Africa doesn’t have a place in this specific memory of mine.
Humbled by life again - Northbeach
Last edited by Northbeach; 22nd Oct 2009 at 16:16.
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both my co-pilot and engineer had goat head's soup, in DNAA, the night before an early AM departure...sure was a lonely flight deck upon departure...
thank God for a simple aiplane, as we were "empty" and repositioning to FOOL or FCPP (can't remember the details, let alone the country) though both lavs were occupied...
thank God for a simple aiplane, as we were "empty" and repositioning to FOOL or FCPP (can't remember the details, let alone the country) though both lavs were occupied...
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If you can't beat them then join them!
What is even worse than watching this video of irisponsible behaviour causing the DRC to have the lowest safety record in the world is knowing that CAA is an American owned and managed company, the Chief pilot is Belgian and the Director of Operations is Australian - People who should be setting an example are the very ones pushing the envelope to the max!
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YouTube - Air Zimbabwe
Air Zimbabwe
This made me laugh, if some one has already posted then sorry but I did not have time to check the entire thread, enjoy.
Air Zimbabwe
This made me laugh, if some one has already posted then sorry but I did not have time to check the entire thread, enjoy.
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I know this is the Africa thread but check out this 737 in China use every inch of the runway.
YouTube - China Airlines 737-800 nearly overshoots runway at takeoff
YouTube - China Airlines 737-800 nearly overshoots runway at takeoff
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Port Harcourt lnternational.
ls this every man for himself ?
Cr*p.
After an early morning start l`d had a nap and gone to meet the crew in the dining area. A bit of a "dicky tummy" which was unusual for me. But duty called.
And l was hungry.
We chatted for a bit, and then joined the queue. l had hung back, the rumblings continuing.
The others were served. l looked at the trestle tables and thought "yes, l can do this".
Two boiled potatoes, thankyou, and a slice of the goat please, the lean bit if you wouldn`t mind. Perfect.
As l looked over my shoulder to regain my bearings, one of the staff shoved a spoon up the goats jacksie and put the stuffing onto my plate.
l`m afraid that finished me.
l left without underwear, having binned it after the clean up.
Happy days.
Cr*p.
After an early morning start l`d had a nap and gone to meet the crew in the dining area. A bit of a "dicky tummy" which was unusual for me. But duty called.
And l was hungry.
We chatted for a bit, and then joined the queue. l had hung back, the rumblings continuing.
The others were served. l looked at the trestle tables and thought "yes, l can do this".
Two boiled potatoes, thankyou, and a slice of the goat please, the lean bit if you wouldn`t mind. Perfect.
As l looked over my shoulder to regain my bearings, one of the staff shoved a spoon up the goats jacksie and put the stuffing onto my plate.
l`m afraid that finished me.
l left without underwear, having binned it after the clean up.
Happy days.
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NON IRON
That must be one of the funniest stories i have read on this forum.
Folks keep the stories coming about our lovely continent. I am sure there are a lot more to share with everyone
That must be one of the funniest stories i have read on this forum.
Folks keep the stories coming about our lovely continent. I am sure there are a lot more to share with everyone
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You cannot put a square peg in a round hole!
We once, many years ago, flew a very long mast for a very big racing yacht, down to Buenos Areas, arriving with the foot of the mast firmly wedged against the aft pressure bulkhead, and the top in the cockpit.
We let the handling agents scratch their heads for a while, wondering how to get it out without cutting it in two.
Finally they had to ask us how we got it in!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Here is a revised, developed and refined version of the African solution to the long box/cargo door entry problem.
LONG BOX – AFRICAN SOLUTION (Revision #1)
EQUIPMENT:
1 long piece of string.
1 tape measure. (does not need to be long)
1 stone
METHOD #1 (low box):
Place string on box, and pull string tight.
Cut string to the same length as box.
Attach one end of this string to outside front of cargo door.
Pull string tight and place other end on inside opposite wall of cargo compartment.
Place tape measure, at approximately rightangles to the tight piece of string.
ANSWER:
Measure distance between tight piece of string and inside rear of cargo door = max width of box to fit through the door.
METHOD #2 (tall box):
Attach another piece of string to stone.
Hang string down side of box, so that sting is tight, while stone touches ground.
Cut string at same height as box.
Attach this string to inside rear edge of cargo door, so that string is tight and stone touches cargo floor.
Place tape measure, at approximately rightangles to the tight piece of string used in method #1.
ANSWER:
Measure distance between tight piece of string and stone = max width of tall box to fit through cargo door.
(This is not so stupid. It would actually work!)
As for the mast, in order to load it we had the front windshield removed and using a crane we slid it in through there.
We let the handling agents scratch their heads for a while, wondering how to get it out without cutting it in two.
Finally they had to ask us how we got it in!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Here is a revised, developed and refined version of the African solution to the long box/cargo door entry problem.
LONG BOX – AFRICAN SOLUTION (Revision #1)
EQUIPMENT:
1 long piece of string.
1 tape measure. (does not need to be long)
1 stone
METHOD #1 (low box):
Place string on box, and pull string tight.
Cut string to the same length as box.
Attach one end of this string to outside front of cargo door.
Pull string tight and place other end on inside opposite wall of cargo compartment.
Place tape measure, at approximately rightangles to the tight piece of string.
ANSWER:
Measure distance between tight piece of string and inside rear of cargo door = max width of box to fit through the door.
METHOD #2 (tall box):
Attach another piece of string to stone.
Hang string down side of box, so that sting is tight, while stone touches ground.
Cut string at same height as box.
Attach this string to inside rear edge of cargo door, so that string is tight and stone touches cargo floor.
Place tape measure, at approximately rightangles to the tight piece of string used in method #1.
ANSWER:
Measure distance between tight piece of string and stone = max width of tall box to fit through cargo door.
(This is not so stupid. It would actually work!)
As for the mast, in order to load it we had the front windshield removed and using a crane we slid it in through there.
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You know you're in Africa when:
it sucks ass bad enough in a certain country's capital that when the starter fails, you just ferry out on a single engine, and windmill-start the other one. (wasn't me).....(Nouakchott)
you can carry a meter-long souvenir scimitar & tooled-leather scabbard through airports around the western half of the continent without it being remarked upon.
crewmembers have a fever and go to the hospital/medical clinic "emergency room", and upon arriving, decide they aren't really that sick and go back to the hotel.
they're calling peanuts "groundnuts".
you can fly over land on a clear day for two hours at .84M without visible signs on the ground that Earth is inhabited.
it sucks ass bad enough in a certain country's capital that when the starter fails, you just ferry out on a single engine, and windmill-start the other one. (wasn't me).....(Nouakchott)
you can carry a meter-long souvenir scimitar & tooled-leather scabbard through airports around the western half of the continent without it being remarked upon.
crewmembers have a fever and go to the hospital/medical clinic "emergency room", and upon arriving, decide they aren't really that sick and go back to the hotel.
they're calling peanuts "groundnuts".
you can fly over land on a clear day for two hours at .84M without visible signs on the ground that Earth is inhabited.
Last edited by 727gm; 25th Jun 2011 at 07:14.
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You know when you are in Africa when...
...you are at FL240 and the next ATC unit clears you to descent to FL280
...you have to pay the airport fees at four different locations, which takes about 2 hours (FKYS)
...you have to pay the airport fees at four different locations, which takes about 2 hours (FKYS)
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When you get asked to transport a certain individual's 2 goats in a survey Caravan from A-B and after giving the obvious answer get asked to then strap the goats onto the wings as a last resort.......no plablem!
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After departure from a descently muddy dirt field you cannot retract the main gear due to excessive mud mesing with the switches, fly twenty minutes gear down to the next field, call out the fire truck and hose the gear down, all with the pax watching seemingly non-plussed at the excercise. Take off and hey presto gear retracts again 
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You're offered sex everyday but haven't gotten any in months.
If you're late due to factors beyond your control, you are disciplined. If you're pay is late, this is normal.
An Antonov on your frequency is immediately suspect of being on a collision course even if they're a hundred miles away.
Russians consider tranponders a sign of weakness.
Runway lights at the capital of a large nation don't work.
You're at the airplane five hours before scheduled departure and you're still late getting out.
The last captain you flew with was less competent and professional than your former students.
The last captain you flew with blames your entire continent on all the problems in Africa.
You take antibiotics on a daily basis.
You look forward to getting a medical because you need to go to the middle east to see the doc.
You drink excessively and lose weight.
You have more respect and repoir with the local gangsters than the UN.
You've gotten into a barfight that you started with a guy from an NGO that was going to solve all the world's problems because he just graduated from a liberal arts college(so did I:-)) and you are "just to obviously racist and ignorant to understand".
LOL, this place is awesome! Never going back, seriously!!!
If you're late due to factors beyond your control, you are disciplined. If you're pay is late, this is normal.
An Antonov on your frequency is immediately suspect of being on a collision course even if they're a hundred miles away.
Russians consider tranponders a sign of weakness.
Runway lights at the capital of a large nation don't work.
You're at the airplane five hours before scheduled departure and you're still late getting out.
The last captain you flew with was less competent and professional than your former students.
The last captain you flew with blames your entire continent on all the problems in Africa.
You take antibiotics on a daily basis.
You look forward to getting a medical because you need to go to the middle east to see the doc.
You drink excessively and lose weight.
You have more respect and repoir with the local gangsters than the UN.
You've gotten into a barfight that you started with a guy from an NGO that was going to solve all the world's problems because he just graduated from a liberal arts college(so did I:-)) and you are "just to obviously racist and ignorant to understand".
LOL, this place is awesome! Never going back, seriously!!!
