You Know You Are In Africa When.....
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: west of LTN
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One pax too many ( apparently weighing 119kgs ) turns out to be a pregnant cat in a basket. 119kgs ? well, obviously weight of one adult and one child added together !
quidquid excusatio prandium pro
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: New York
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The Air Force of Zaire charters tired old Boeing for troop transport, domestic flight, all seats, galleys, and anything else removable unbolted, and chucked onto ramp at KIN in a torrential downpour. Airplane that previously seated ca. 150 is now loading 250 fully kitted out and armed troops on board, sitting on the bare floor of the cabin. Operation normal so far. Just a little crowded though.
In Africa, insult invariably follows injury, it’s just another way of maintaining life’s essential continuity I guess, different strokes come to mind. Perhaps it’s where the expression originated. In any event, the General of The Air Force is requesting to personally fly the aircraft, he won’t take no for an answer. With lots willing and able firepower just behind the cockpit door, we are obliged to agree.
Student pilot, very high ranking one, at controls for takeoff, the old girl groans off the very last inch of available tarmac, with a little help, mostly unseen, from us. Having proven beyond doubt his stick n’ rudder moxie, General of said Air Force smiles that all-knowing smile that only rank can confer, gets up out of the seat, and goes to discuss things military with his troops in the back.
We have not yet reached 1000’ AGL…
In Africa, insult invariably follows injury, it’s just another way of maintaining life’s essential continuity I guess, different strokes come to mind. Perhaps it’s where the expression originated. In any event, the General of The Air Force is requesting to personally fly the aircraft, he won’t take no for an answer. With lots willing and able firepower just behind the cockpit door, we are obliged to agree.
Student pilot, very high ranking one, at controls for takeoff, the old girl groans off the very last inch of available tarmac, with a little help, mostly unseen, from us. Having proven beyond doubt his stick n’ rudder moxie, General of said Air Force smiles that all-knowing smile that only rank can confer, gets up out of the seat, and goes to discuss things military with his troops in the back.
We have not yet reached 1000’ AGL…
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Johannesburg, South Africa
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SACAA inspector grounds a Kingair 200 because the pilot was refuelling with "the wrong fuel, this aircraft has propellors so it must get Avgas" Yep, happened right here in SA!
Join Date: Jul 2006
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NAF Base, Port Harcourt.
Official memo stating that turning left during a go-around will cause the anti-aircraft batteries to open fire.
Probably the safest place to be.
Probably the safest place to be.
quidquid excusatio prandium pro
Join Date: Jun 2001
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Official memo stating that turning left during a go-around will cause the anti-aircraft batteries to open fire.
Probably the safest place to be.
Probably the safest place to be.
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Planet Tharg
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Loki had a similar setup. A piston DC3 was used for a while as the turbine number was in for maintenance. We heard later that the AAA folks in the nearby mil base almost opened fire on it in the circuit as it "didn't sound right".
Join Date: Dec 1999
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A Van and a Dak decided to do a formation running break at Loki, and broke left over the army camp, despite it being perfectly well known that this was strictly verboten.
I'd landed inmmediately before and saw the ill-advised event. Five minutes later, as the miscreants were shutting down a bunch of green jeeps came roaring onto the apron bristling with weapons and very angry soldiers. The Lieutenent began screaming at me in an apopleptic fury, spittle flying, eyes like organ stops until I managed to point out that my prop had stopped but the naxt Van in the line's hadn't.
They only avoided being shot because they were too close for the missiles to lock on or something like that, and the guns didn't fire at point-blank range because the gunners argued about which to shoot first, by which time they'd gone.
It was impossible to tell if the Lt was so furious because he'd damn nearly wiped out a civvy aircraft, or that his soldiers hadn't performed as they should have. Either way those two aircraft had a very very close call.
I'd landed inmmediately before and saw the ill-advised event. Five minutes later, as the miscreants were shutting down a bunch of green jeeps came roaring onto the apron bristling with weapons and very angry soldiers. The Lieutenent began screaming at me in an apopleptic fury, spittle flying, eyes like organ stops until I managed to point out that my prop had stopped but the naxt Van in the line's hadn't.
They only avoided being shot because they were too close for the missiles to lock on or something like that, and the guns didn't fire at point-blank range because the gunners argued about which to shoot first, by which time they'd gone.
It was impossible to tell if the Lt was so furious because he'd damn nearly wiped out a civvy aircraft, or that his soldiers hadn't performed as they should have. Either way those two aircraft had a very very close call.
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: It wasn't me, I wasn't there, wrong country ;-)
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Even after being out of LOS for 25 years, you still think 'Guinness & Gulda mix' immediately before ordering a pint of 'Nigerian' in the pub!
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Moving around
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You file a flight plan for a prof check (training flight) only to be told there is another aircraft doing training you may not fly...
NO problem file a "test flight" flight plan and away we go!
NO problem file a "test flight" flight plan and away we go!
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Dubai, UAE
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This has happened three times this month in Luanda, once not even for the president, just his brother.
The BA flight was also delayed for nearly an hour 6 weeks ago as the president's office called to say 2 VIPs would be arriving late.
BA had already op-upped 2 people from WT to WT+ then WT+ to CW, CW to A etc
Had to come along and tell them that they were being bumped back down.
What a hassle, but as the pilot put it "when the president calls, we listen"
The BA flight was also delayed for nearly an hour 6 weeks ago as the president's office called to say 2 VIPs would be arriving late.
BA had already op-upped 2 people from WT to WT+ then WT+ to CW, CW to A etc
Had to come along and tell them that they were being bumped back down.
What a hassle, but as the pilot put it "when the president calls, we listen"
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: On a sunny beach
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...when you ask the tower controller for the lastest surface data...
Tower Controller : the clouds are alright ! safe to land, just be carefull !
....thanks just what i wnated to hear !!!!
Tower Controller : the clouds are alright ! safe to land, just be carefull !
....thanks just what i wnated to hear !!!!
Join Date: Oct 1999
Location: In the oil wealth of sand dunes
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Can you believe it? Only in Africa!
Just when you thought it was safe to have......
Couple die while having sex
Kinross - A woman in her late 20s and an unknown man died at about 23:30 on Friday night, when they were hit by a train while having sex on a railway line.
The possibility that the man was raping the woman is also being investigated.
Mpumalanga police spokesperson Superintendent Abie Khoabane said they didn't know who the victims were, as they had no ID documents or any possessions on them when they were hit by the train. There were also no cars or houses nearby.
"The train driver couldn't stop in time when he saw them in his way," said Khoabane.
"The train was only stopped later and the train driver went to investigate. He found the two victims and immediately called the police."
Khoabane said it was not clear if the woman was being raped or if she was having intercourse out of her own free will, but that the investigation would help shed light on the matter.
Couple die while having sex
Kinross - A woman in her late 20s and an unknown man died at about 23:30 on Friday night, when they were hit by a train while having sex on a railway line.
The possibility that the man was raping the woman is also being investigated.
Mpumalanga police spokesperson Superintendent Abie Khoabane said they didn't know who the victims were, as they had no ID documents or any possessions on them when they were hit by the train. There were also no cars or houses nearby.
"The train driver couldn't stop in time when he saw them in his way," said Khoabane.
"The train was only stopped later and the train driver went to investigate. He found the two victims and immediately called the police."
Khoabane said it was not clear if the woman was being raped or if she was having intercourse out of her own free will, but that the investigation would help shed light on the matter.
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: everywhere
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planecrazi wrote
Can you believe it, only in america FOXNews.com - Report: Metrolink Engineer Texting With Teen Moments Before Killer Commuter Crash - Local News | News Articles | National News | US News
Honestly planecrazi, what exactly is people killed by a train while having sex have to do with aviation ????
Come on man let's stick to the subjet of aviation here.
Just when you thought it was safe to have......
Couple die while having sex
Couple die while having sex
Honestly planecrazi, what exactly is people killed by a train while having sex have to do with aviation ????
Come on man let's stick to the subjet of aviation here.
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Pagak - skankus maximus
Wors't and best load I ever carried was out of Pagak on the Sudan/Ethiopia border a little over a year ago. I think we had had four live goats, a few live chooks, a brick sh*thouse full of eggs in proper egg trays surprisingly, four or five sacks of charcoal and best of all two sacks of Ouzo which was the only spirit drink we could find in Southern Sudan unless there was someone flying in from Nairobi to join us. Not to mention the five or six pax, our loadmaster, all our refuelling gear and the four empty drums of JET A1 we had spent the last half hour pumping into our LET 410.
Hell of a party that night with the crews share of the Ouzo, 2 bottles!
I miss the scene in the South terribly. Great friends, great crew.
Hell of a party that night with the crews share of the Ouzo, 2 bottles!
I miss the scene in the South terribly. Great friends, great crew.
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: KENYA
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You land and have two marshallers giving different instructions and when you finally park (after spending 10 minutes trying to negotiate with tower) and ask baggage handlers for a baggage trolley, they bring you a wheelchair... or better still, try being asked to report over a non existent point 
Last edited by xplorer; 10th Oct 2008 at 10:37.