The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly Charter Pax/Customers.
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: protective custody
Posts: 3
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly Charter Pax/Customers.
Hi,For those who are/have flown for an African charter company taxiing the safari crowd around the skies of Nam/Bots/SA, I would like to know the stories of your very best and worst customers. Anything and everything, alas the title - the good, the bad, and the ugly.Please feel free to comment about your experiences with your very best and your very worst charter customers . This should be very interesting reading. I look forward to it.YMHPS If there already is a thread on this, could someone please direct me to it.
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Pretoria, South Africa
Posts: 157
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
had a charter all the way down from one country to another with couple of stops inbetween... two stops 30min apart... stop at the first stop and ask if everyone ok and need a toilet.... everyone says no.... 10min to landing at the second stop, approaching in bad weather, and the one passenger come up to the cockpit and says he needs a toilet now! i reckon he must just puke in a bag or wizz in a bottle.... nope, nr3! having to focus a bit on the approach now rather... he dissapears to the back and the next thing i thought of looking back to see whats up, but rather just smelled that everything is not in order! spend more than a hour on the ground cleaning the floor, roof and seats..... mildly irritated! and approaching in bad weather with that stink... no fun!
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Africa
Age: 44
Posts: 237
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
I once had a charter in a C206 out of Maun into the Delta. I picked up my pax in the terminal and walked them out onto the apron and figured out they had just got married and were on their honeymoon. The guy was one of the most arrogant Americans I have ever met and every time his new bride asked me a question about the trip/flight/delta/plane, he butted in and gave his new bride his (very wrong) version of things. By the time we got to the plane I was annoyed but didnt show it yet. I then got out my map and started with the briefing, again I was interupted and told exactly how it was all going to happen and all about the flight, again this fool had no clue what he was on about but I guess he was trying to impress his wife so I let him finish his briefing and then gave them the proper one. A little annoyed, but still not showing it (scared to loose out on a tip) I loaded them up and took off. Then the questions started, every 10 seconds I got a tap on the shoulder asking the most random things, still wanting a tip, I made the effort, I shouted the answer to both of them over the droaning of the old 6 cylinder conty up front. Then to my amusement, he rehashed word for word to her what I had just said to them both in such a matter of fact way that it was if he was telling her something he had spent some serious time researching himself. I called the camp to tell them my estimates and heard on the radio that there was a rhino on the way from the strip to the camp, usually I would let the guests know but could not be bothered with this clown so I left it. on landing and passing 1/3 of the way down the strip a warthog bolted out of a ditch and ran across in front of me, I jammed on brakes and pulled the mixture in case I hit him and as the prop was still winding down the little bastard passed in front of us, tail in the air like a car areial, missing the prop by a few inches. Mr "know-it-all" in the back shat himself and yelped to his wife in a broad american accent "oh my god, look at that rhinosarus!!!!" Knowing that they were about to to see the real deal and he was about to look a complete fool in front of his new bride I sniggered to myself and with a dead pan look, said to him "I know! its one of the biggest I have ever seen!" I restarted and taxied to the end of the strip and dropped them off. I never got that tip but have always amused myself thinking about the look on his face when they saw the real rhino on the way into the camp.
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Johannesburg
Posts: 33
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Cleaning out the aircraft and on the last sweep finding a Bonaqua water bottle filled with reprocessed water is not cool. Spillage is a no go especially when its still warm.
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: SA
Posts: 7
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Golden showers for everyone
Not exactly in Nam or Bots but In southern Sudan my Captain sat in one of the pax seats while the aircraft was being refuelled only to discover, much to his discontent and disgust, that the slightly damp sensation on the back of his pants was warm Sudanese piss. The refulling guys must have pissed themselves too, but with laughter at this captain swearing his head off, pouring water all over his ass..
Good times.
Good times.
The worst are the americans tourists (not all but most). You know they are clueless when your welcoming everybody on board about to start the briefing from the cockpit and some idiot asks 'are you the pilot' 
I got them back though. One morning whilst flying a charter in a C-404 over lake natron i was a bit gassy from last nights curry and decided to ease the pressure. The smell was horrendous so i quickly pointed out the window and said thats lake natron, its a sulphur lake. You can smell the sulpher from here, to which everyone in the aircraft took a big whiff and said yeah you can.
Had another bloke take a pee in a small water bottle kneeling between the pilots seats. It was also on the 404 so he was in full view of everyone. He tried to hand over the bottle but i suggested it was best he held on to it.
I got them back though. One morning whilst flying a charter in a C-404 over lake natron i was a bit gassy from last nights curry and decided to ease the pressure. The smell was horrendous so i quickly pointed out the window and said thats lake natron, its a sulphur lake. You can smell the sulpher from here, to which everyone in the aircraft took a big whiff and said yeah you can.
Had another bloke take a pee in a small water bottle kneeling between the pilots seats. It was also on the 404 so he was in full view of everyone. He tried to hand over the bottle but i suggested it was best he held on to it.
Gatvol
Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: KLAS/TIST/FAJS/KFAI
Posts: 4,195
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Puke bags for the Helicopter. I tell them they are take away bags, you use them, you take them away. In my years I have had folks do it all. Every leakage possible without going into detail.
You think Americans are Arrogant, wait till you get a plane load of French Canadians. Most of the time they refuse to speak English. French cant stand them either as they are not French. At least the Americans usually tip......
You think Americans are Arrogant, wait till you get a plane load of French Canadians. Most of the time they refuse to speak English. French cant stand them either as they are not French. At least the Americans usually tip......
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Praying for a Herc job!
Posts: 21
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
add to that "and the stupid"
Hi
Some real cool questions I've been asked:
"Are you from Chiefs Island or from the mainland?"
"How many eggs does a hippo lay?"
Lady stepping off Airbots in Maun:" Where's the ocean?"
"Who is the president of Africa?"
Gentleman, after climbing into R/H front seat on the 210:" Is this a twin-engined aircraft?" My answer:" You are very observant."
German tourist after picking them up in Vic Falls, landing in Kasane for customs, flying an hour west into the Delta, on base for Kwara he sees a veld-fire:" Is dat Vic Falls?"
Cheers
Rabid
Some real cool questions I've been asked:
"Are you from Chiefs Island or from the mainland?"
"How many eggs does a hippo lay?"
Lady stepping off Airbots in Maun:" Where's the ocean?"
"Who is the president of Africa?"
Gentleman, after climbing into R/H front seat on the 210:" Is this a twin-engined aircraft?" My answer:" You are very observant."
German tourist after picking them up in Vic Falls, landing in Kasane for customs, flying an hour west into the Delta, on base for Kwara he sees a veld-fire:" Is dat Vic Falls?"
Cheers
Rabid
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: all over
Posts: 48
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
The following took place flying a Donkey around the Delta.
Woman (not paying attention, and irritated at pilots insistence that she know how to operate door): Why do I need to know how to open the door? I dont need to open it!
Pilot: You will if we are on fire.
Woman: (starts paying attention)
Scenic Pax: Whats the In-Flight movie?
Pilot: Its a new release, its called "Shut Up And Look Out The Window"
Woman (not paying attention, and irritated at pilots insistence that she know how to operate door): Why do I need to know how to open the door? I dont need to open it!
Pilot: You will if we are on fire.
Woman: (starts paying attention)
Scenic Pax: Whats the In-Flight movie?
Pilot: Its a new release, its called "Shut Up And Look Out The Window"
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: On FDP limits
Posts: 4
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
As I was touching down at a strip in the Kariba area in a 206 with the stall warning sounding all I heard from the not so clever yank in the back to his wife was "jeez luv this plane even has a hooter to chase off the animals".
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: North of the 26th and not above FL010
Posts: 76
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
Not in Africa
After a little bit of dog baiting, had my pax bring up yesterdays dinner.
RESULT Onion rings all over the panel...... and no suitable field in sight.
RESULT Onion rings all over the panel...... and no suitable field in sight.
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Planet Tharg
Posts: 2,472
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
on
0 Posts
As I was touching down at a strip in the Kariba area in a 206 with the stall warning sounding all I heard from the not so clever yank in the back to his wife was "jeez luv this plane even has a hooter to chase off the animals".
