A multi engine /crew story from the dim and distant involved a splendid QFI with the name of Taff John. It was a night CT sortie at Colerne in a Hastings that it occurred. The Handley Page Hastings did not conform to Perf A standards and there was a perilous gap between Vr and Flaps up safety speed. In a heavily laden craft the unwritten drill for EFATO was to put the nose down Bannerdown Hill and aim at Bath Abbey until the ASI quivered up to the approved 3 engine speed. In those days a practice EFATO could be initiated by bottling one of the four Bristol Hercules engines without any disastrous effects (a practice continued for a while on the Herc until they realised that the remaining three Allison turbo props at max throttle would take you straight to the scene of the accident!) Anyway that night Taff reached forward at take off and retarded a throttle. There ensued a frenzy of activity whereby the Co misidentified the HP cock of the engine and switched off the adjacent one. The Engineer saw the HP cock off and retarded the appropriate throttle on his own panel and switched off the wrong LP cock . The Captain was now double asymmetric and tried to restart an engine which they all cocked up and the remaining engine spluttered to a halt for want of fuel. The mighty Hastings was then utterly quiet in the night sky apart from the wind blowing over its wings when a dry Welsh voice intoned. "Rrright! Now will everrybody put everrything back where they found it!"