No, an EK pilot unless he/she is a cadet does not have to list you as a friend (yet).
The cancellation fee I believe only applies if you no-show for the flight as it's a firm booking. Otherwise if you cancel it before departure then I believe it will be fully refunded but the staff member can not use that ticket again for someone else so in effect loses the ticket.
The refund, as stated above will come through salary refund the following payroll month.