If the Sarcs post above does not shake the foundations and get some minuscule response, it's time to throw the wings in the third drawer, hang up the RM's and learn to knit properly. In the face of such stark, compelling evidence any form of wet lettuce treatment simply indicates that we have no aviation regulatory oversight, risk management or accident investigation system at all, at least none that we may rely on.
Heard it told better last evening at the BRB, one of the more whimsical souls kicked off with a cracking good story which kept us amused for some 20 minutes, it had the lot. Too much to relay verbatim on Pprune, I shall attempt a humble potted version, just so as you can make sense of the voting.
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The scene was set in a room which was very like those brilliant prints, the ones you see of dogs playing poker and snooker, card table, eyeshades, cigars, a drink at every elbow. Deepening shadows form away from the low hanging light which throws a yellow light directly onto the piles of chips, ashtrays and the cards.
The table has a couple of vacant seats, but the players have obviously been sitting a while, engrossed in conversation during the game, comfortable with sleeves rolled up, ties loosened. The dealer, Pearly White was just collecting the used cards and getting set to deal another hand. Now Pearly was known for not wasting a lot of time shuffling as he pretty much new where every card in the deck was; and, being as this was a game where cheating was expected none of the other players was too concerned as up to seven cards were allowed up each sleeve. The door of the room slowly opened a few inches about then and a pale, bearded face slid around the edge and peered in; like lightning, the thought 'fresh meat' flashed around the table.
Pearly glanced nervously at his boss, who nodded; his boss Furky was not to trifled with, not in a money game. But there was no help for it, they needed a sixth to make the game work properly. With five professional card sharps at the table, a mug; or, in the parlance of that group, a Muppet was needed. "Sorry" says Muppet "just locking up, saw the light on, got to watch the pennies". "Come in, come in" says Pearly, "just having a few hands of cards to pass the time waiting for the first draft of that bloody report; won't you join us?"
As Pearly was saying his piece, the Choirmaster (so called because he sang more songs than any other known human being) found a clean glass and poured a generous dollop of hooch into the same and offered it to Muppet, "Here mate" he crooned, "take a dram and sit a while; been a long day". Well, Muppet knew his Mum would be worried if he stayed out late and his dinner would be in the dog; but on the other hand, he was under pressure, his new blow up doll had developed a slow leak and what with no TV at home, he thought, perhaps just this once, he may sit a while with the 'lads'. Thought to action, he stepped into the room and into history. "Thanks mate, don't mind if I do" were the last honest words he uttered.
Well, the drinks kept coming, Muppet kept winning (just enough), the jokes were hilarious and the cigars were, he admitted first class. "Got a mate at Dunhill" says the Joker (famous for comic antics and risqué shirts). Long story short, one of the players Wodger, a.k.a. Passion fingers made a silly mistake – a card sharp's gaff – the ace he had in his right cuff fell out when he hastily stretched across the table to mop up Jokers spilled drink (he always mopped up for those above him on the slippery ladder).
"Hey, what's this now" cries Muppet, wisely he refrained from saying the 'cheating' word as even he knew that this was fighting talk and he only had his Swiss Army pocket knife about him (present from his Uncle Alec) he also knew the rest were all 'packing'. "Shan't play any more" he huffed, petulant like, as he started to get up. "Sit" barked the Choirmaster, "let me explain how our little game works" (no option you see, for if Muppet blabbed, well, the jig was up and that was a hanging matter in card sharp circles). "You see" purred the choirmaster in his most luxurious voice; "it's a rigged game, we all know that so it's fair you see; but, we do need fresh money in and to do that we need a 'Pasty'". "Patsy" Muppet automatically corrected; "No, we like Pasties" crooned the Choirmaster, "the crust can be tossed away after use". "Anyway we have a big game coming up and if you play along, we'll cut you into the pot".
The long and the short of it is that Muppet turned up for the next event, ponied up his ante and took his share of his winnings, and with a light heart and heavier pockets toddled off, not a care in the world. His Mum was cross, but a flash of cash into the biscuit tin soothed her troubled brow. Being made aware of a criminal conspiracy troubled him not a whit and he'd developed a fondness for playing with a stacked deck and for a while, life was just peachy.
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It was a bloody good yarn and underpinned the short debate.
Q1: was Dolan brought into the fiasco before or after the decision to weld two sides of a story into one convenient, easy to carry package? Split vote – 50/50. There can be no doubt he knew of it. But, whether he elected to become part of it, having discovered what was occurring; or, part of the team which engineered the whole thing to accommodate the easy transition from 'independent' to CASA catamite, could not be decided.
Q2: Based purely on Hansard evidence, is it reasonable to question whether fairy stories were told and to whom; Senate or TSBC? Funny result this one. Dead even 25% split for one of the two choices; the rest went for both. Unanimous was that the industry, government, press and public had been subject to a taking the Mickey Bliss master class.
Q3: Based purely on Hansard evidence, is it reasonable to question if there was a serious breach of TSI S24? Unanimous, unequivocal - Yes.
Q4: Is it acceptable that the Senate committee sit on it's collective rump and allow the ATSB to investigate ATSB. No brainer the cry – Unanimous resounding - No.
Q5: Should the whole matter be referred to the AFP to determine, once and for all, if there was a criminal conspiracy to mislead parliament, defraud the public and pervert a critical accident investigation?. Unanimous resounding - Yes.
Well that's how the voting went, it was quick, argument free and for once, not interrupted by shouts of Bollocks. Darts?, well some of the guests were from the sub-continent and not as familiar with the subtleties of the game as they were of those at cricket. Good showing though; A+ for effort and definitely top marks for sportsmanship.. Phir milengae...
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Toot-toot...