As the WLR review is sanctioned by the 'department' head for release to the miniscule, we of the BRB got together last evening to answer two burning question – (i) the strange and wonderful way of coincidence with the miraculous appearance of an industry
PR survey at the time of the WLR release; and (ii) from which bottomless pit of ineptitude did the CASA drag survey notion from. The answer to Qi is, we believe self evident. Best we could come up with for Qii was the following explanation.
Some one left the keys to the word processor room laying about, which allowed a couple of the pencil cupboard inmates to sneak in and settle down to a long night of Gin and fantasy. The product of their late night happy, slappy writing binge produced a mighty word fest. The missive had to be drafted drunk; it's the only explanation, for no one in their senses could produce such a load of meaningless old cobblers.
Anyway - they must have smuggled it into the print run where it impressed some of their more light minded mates (who were stuck for ideas anyway), what with the high flown language, fatuous logic, previously unheard rhetoric; and, the added benefit of being totally incomprehensible made it a winner.... After much back slapping and high five-ing; the missive was presented, like the Emperors new clothes to the "Czar". Not wanting to appear thick, this fine gentleman nodded sagely and agreed with the 'mates' advice, - this was the answer to the massive
PR problem. "We should make sure the industry gets this important safety message and we'll get lots of kudos" he cried "I'll wangle the survey money, you boys get to work: this will be a big
PR win-win" for us".
So they set it all up and went at it; sure in the knowledge that the loaded questions and skewed answers would provide a perfect platform of mirrors and backdrop of smoke (just the ticket they chuckled); and, the bonus being that no bugger would know what TF they were looking at; but could not say so. You can't tell CASA it's bloody fairy story – and remain fit and proper.
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You will need a strong stomach (and a fine sense of the ridiculous) to read all of this –CAAP. In deference to my colleagues sensitive guts and early hour I have selected but two short paragraphs as an illustration. For your entertainment, delight and amusement; direct from
CAAP 215 Annexe D page D 18. If you can't see the parallels, look -
HERE, just read the email -
HERE:-
A consultant was engaged to conduct interviews with senior personnel and focus groups with the main occupational groups within the airline. The consultant not only provided expertise in these questioning techniques, there was a general perception of impartiality that appeared to encourage frank disclosure and discussion. Four focus groups were conducted (two pilot groups; 1 maintainer group; and 1 miscellaneous group) over two days. A report was delivered by the consultant that summarised the key training themes emerging from the interviews and focus groups.
The training development team used the consultant’s report, the analysis of company incident
reports, feedback from other airline safety managers, CASA and the ATSB website, and their own experience with external CRM training to develop a list of training needs in a rough priority order.
Sponsored by the IOS Sheltered Workshop division. Providing expensive training teams for promoting the latest version of witless, mindless, pointless waffle.
Hope the same crew write the WLR, can't wait to read it - Toot toot.