There is the official version:-
We can expect to continue to work in a resource-constrained environment during the foreseeable future and will need to be creative in finding ways to deliver the high quality expected by the government and the Australian public. Our responsibilities have grown in the rail sector and we are also acutely conscious of the effect on our available resources of the demands of one or more complex investigations.
Then, from deep within the tin bins laden with writing department drafts; Willyleaks anonymously received what some be believe to be the 'original draft'. While we are unable to verify that the document was indeed found in a tin-bin at ATSB HQ, were able to identify the writer through DNA analysis of the drool patches about the $$$ signs.
We intend to spend as little as possible while maintaining the facade of investigating air accidents. We do need to be 'creative' in order to do this successfully. This can be effectively achieved by grabbing the first available straw then massaging it as the foundation for a brief technical analysis. As very few of the general public or our political masters are capable of understanding any of the issues, we can make a considerable saving by minimising the research and maximising the creative writing initiative. We intend to focus on spending the railways budget; the boys over at CASA have a bigger budget for aviation. We can provide significant savings by continuing to work with CASA and allowing them to complete the few aviation reports we eventually finish. This proven system also avoids the need to make those nasty, expensive embarrassing safety recommendations. To achieve this end; we shall continue to comply with our agreed mandate and only use the Wodger wecommended weport writing system. Safe bonuses for all.....
Sponsor: the IOS chapter for 'A Thriving Surplus Budget'.....
