Honeymoon salad – Lettuce alone.
We still have the TSB visit to look forward to. Fresh from Willyleaks:- Terms of reference and agenda.
1000 – 1015. Meet and greet team fiasco in the 5 star lobby. Complimentary vomit bags are provided.
1030 - 1130. A selection of teas and biccy's served in the smoking room, to allow pre selection of your favourite playboy bunny competition candidate.
1130 – 1200. Inspection of world class work station, points awarded for spotting out of alignment paper clips and blunt pencils.
1200 – 1230 Con-Car transport to a 5 star restaurant, delays may occur due a shortage of Con-fuel, taxi vouchers will be provided. N.B. There is a 10 page travel warning guide provided in your delegate "Welcome package", you are cautioned not to leave your Con-vehicle, lest the Ills of Society are following on push bikes carrying eggs and chanting rude slogans. One size fits all rubber protection equipment has been provided for your comfort and safety.
1300 – 1500. Lunch; during which a talk on "Disconnected Writing" will be presented by the doyen of structured reports, on special release from our flagship regulatory body. Please note, due to a stress related condition and the "Bunny" theme of this seminar, we ask guests not to make derogatory remarks about the speakers choice of the "male" version bunny costume; the ears are an essential part of the recovery process for this outstanding visionary.
1530 – 1600. Con-Car transport to secluded marina (safety rules apply) where a harbour booze cruise will be provided, terminating at the Luna Park jetty. We ask participants to avoid overt fondling of the topless crew, we is a very PC outfit; we are always careful not to have our guests pictures taken by long lens vigilantes from the IOS, so squeeze discreetly to ensure plausible deniability.
1730 – 1930. A guided tour of our world famous, multi million Smoke and Mirrors facility will be conducted by the Sleepy Hollow spin squad. Time permitting a glimpse into the top secret Snakes and Ladders room may be possible, provided the courier bringing the signed permission from Marickville is not egged by the IOS.
1930 – Return to your 5 star suite followed by a Romanesque themed dinner party, featuring food prepared by the stars of My Kitchen Rules, served by your pre selected playboy bunny. Con-Cars will be available for those wishing to visit various places of interest after dinner.
The Commonwealth expects a fully detailed report to be provided by 1800 the following day, robustly exposing any small flaw detected during our rigorous and exhaustive tour of the great Australian protocols and procedures. Please ensure your invoice in not marked below the current standard consultant charge rate of AUD$ 200 per hour, plus OOP expenses.
Now, we know it's an onerous task but; try to have a nice day Y'all.
Willyleak sponsored by the IOS Salubrious Brotherhood of Whitewash Wallah's Inc.
Last edited by Kharon; 5th Aug 2013 at 20:56.
Reason: Taking scuba diving lessons - perhaps