Back in early 1999, I was enjoying yet another few weeks in the sun drenched South Atlantic. Predictably, our trusty VC10K had developed a fault, deeming it a 'wargoer only', so we were sitting around waiting for a Timmy to bring the necessary part down to us.
One morning, a QRA scramble was ordered, much to our surprise. Piling into the oldest, rustiest and slowest Land_Rover on base, we made our laborious way to the jet, pausing as the F3s thundered off to the west.
Having crewed in and checked in, the next thing we knew was when OC Eng bowled up and demanded to know what we were doing on an 'unserviceable' jet. I told him that it was a wargoer and that, if we were launched, he could either get off or come along.... That seemed to deflate him and he left the flight deck.
Listening to the comms was hilarious. Someone was champing at the bit demanding to know the identity of the suspect aircraft. "Stand by" called the F3 crew.....
"What markings can you see?".
"I said STAND BY! OK - the markings, are you ready to copy?"
"Yes - go ahead!"
"Aerolineas Argentinas!"
"Err. Roger.....continue to shadow".
When we were stood down to RS Crewroom and coffee, I asked one of the Herc mates, young StopStart, if he could do a little research. Stoppers was a bit of an Internet whizz, for those days, so I asked him if there was anything such as
www.aerolineas_argentinas.com which he could find...
Some minutes later, a yell from the office indicated that Stoppers had triumphed. "See if there's a flight schedule", I asked him. There was, so we duly printed it off and sent it down to the TIC-TOC with a 'you might find this useful' memo attached.
Not long after, OC1312's phone rang. It was the Int spooks demanding to know 'the source of this highly important intelligence' - it seems they'd been trying to get hold of an Aerolineas Argentinas schedule for months, with zero luck....
We told them, then realised this was too good an opportunity to miss. Shortly afterwards, OC1435 received the following letter:
El Commandante del Vuelo 1435
Base Aerea Gringo
Fuerza Aerea Malvinas
Islas Malvinas
16 Jan 99
Hola Seņor!
In responsing to the requesting por informacion del nuestros vuelos to Argentina, I am pleasing to helping you with your queries. El Boeing 737, avion mucho importante, flies muy frequente en todos los airways del Americano del Sud. She not yet fly to Puerto Argentino or other destino en las Islas Malvinas, pero yo creo que es possible that, if you gringos let our brave boys back to the Islas, el B737 fly to Aeropuerto Malvinas Internacional mucho often.
If you wishing, we fly el Boeing con los flaps y wheels down, so the hijos de putas in los F3 Tornado can catch him if he get off track like other day.
If you wanting to have details of our flight schedules y frequent flyer program, please sending cheque for muchero dinero to myself.
Salud y pesetas y mucho amor,
Jose B Cojones
Generalissimo Manager
Aerolineas Argentinas
236 Calle Galtieri
Buenos Aires
They weren't impressed. Just another merry jape to make the days pass less boringly....