"Rabski - if you are by your own admission 'a pain to fly with' because you 'like things done right', you can surely identify with the Captain's dilemma. You do not strike me as someone who woluld be tolerant of a stroppy FO. When I read your discussions here, I am not filled with excitement at the thought of being your FO".
With respect, I didn't say I am a PITA to fly with, I said I can be a PITA. And by that, I meant mostly with management, though even there it's only if I feel something constitutes a potential risk. I try to keep generally friendy and encouraging to anyone sitting on my right. As I said, they're there for a good reason and one day, one might save me from an almighty one. By the grace of good luck, I've only ever had a few near ones, but who knows? Tomorrow might be my bad luck day and if it is, I want assistance, not the blind following the blind, or worse, resentment.
That said, and having discussed with a few in other companies, I think that in some places the training of CRM needs to be looked at. In some cases, I feel it weakens the position of ultimate responsibility too much and could potentially lead to a 'who the hell is in charge here' situation. There are just a few occasions where you do have to make it clear who calls the shots, though there are ways to do so without causing friction. God forbid, but if I ever have to say 'my aircraft', I don't want to have to explain the decision if the hounds of hell have just broken loose.
Yes, the buck does stop here and there have been one or two cases when I've had to make it clear that there is just one captain. However, I must say that with one or two years experience, it has been extremely rare and when I've had to do it, I've always tried to take the time to explain my decision afterwards. FOs are captains in training. To treat them as inferior in any way whatsoever is going to cause resentment and that's the last thing anyone wants.
I have to put up with enough insubordination and sulks from the damned electronics I'm stuck with so I certainly don't want it in human form as well.
And slightly off-topic, I encourage FOs to hand fly as much as my SOPs allow. In my experience it's a confidence builder and a trust builder. Not to mention a good way to stop standards slipping.