Aren’t you overworked? Seeing a good therapist probably is equivalent of losing a job. Lately, spoke with my mum ( an aviation doctor ) about flying in general, ( as a lady ) , and I understand that I could get scared of flying after being accepted by the airlines , but, I had added a friend . I thought with him always. Actually, you are on a way of becoming a captain then reach it, and at latter change a company you ought to be doing fine then. Or perhaps try to find the source of the i- a, like by checking the thyroid of yours?