As SNCO I saw this from a number of perspectives, in Goose Bay my immediate boss the Staish invited me to his parties in his OMQ with the unit officers. It was first name terms at his house and sir etc back at work.
In 2005 when I was posted to HQSTC my civilian wife decided she'd like to join the STC book club. She'd previously set up and run the Waddington book club, which was open to all ranks including spouses. So at STC she phones up the book club leader, whose first question is what rank is your husband and what does he do. My wife answered I was a Sgt and I worked in Plans, the shutters came down immediately with a sorry we are full. The fact the wife had 2 degrees, was a paediatric specialist, articulate and intelligent didn't matter. The fact that between us we earned a lot, that I drove a shiny sports car to 1 site everyday and we owned a 3 bed detached in a nearby village didn't count, I wore the wrong rank slide and that wasn't good enough for the Senior officers wifes in the STC book club which met in the Officers Mess.
So my wife went on to run the village pre-school, where we met a number of officers, SNCOs and airmen who we socialised with, along with a host of civies including the MD of Dreams and the partner in a top 5 law firm, who were all lovely and didn't judge us on the rank slide I wore.
I've also seen inverted snobbery from the wifes of airmen bitching about the wife of Sqn Ldr Blah for no good reason. We didn't have any time for them either.
Out in Civie street I just don't see it, I live on a street with a number of RAF and ex-RAF, we all get on and have laugh and a drink on occasion, which is the way it should be. Finally at work we have long long retired Army Major who insists on being addressed as Major, everyone thinks he's a complete cock, don't do it guys.