Simply google the topic of the thread.... to get the likes of these, then adapt them to suit.....
British Red Coats
A long time ago, Britain and France were at war.
During one battle, the French captured an English major. Taking the major to their headquarters, the French general began to question him.
The French general asked, "Why do you English officers all wear red coats? Don't you know the red material makes you easier targets for us to shoot at?"
In his bland English way, the major informed the general that the reason English officers wear red coats is so that if they are shot, the blood won't show and the men they are leading won't panic.
And that is why from that day to now all French Army officers wear brown pants.
Military Humor - Jokes and Sayings
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Telling Time
On some air bases the Air Force is on one side of the field and civilian aircraft use the other side of the field, with the control tower in the middle.
One day the tower received a call from an aircraft asking, "What time is it?"
The tower responded, "Who is calling?"
The aircraft replied, "What difference does it make?"
The tower replied, "It makes a lot of difference. If you’re an American Airlines flight, it is 3 o'clock. If you’re an Air Force plane, it is 1500 hours. If you’re a Navy aircraft, it is 6 bells. If you’re a Marine Corps aircraft, the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. But if you’re an Army aircraft, it's Thursday afternoon and 120 minutes to "Happy Hour!!!".
I quite liked this, but erm wouldn't be what you are after...
The value of an Officer VS a NCO
A 2LT was walking home from work one day, when he noticed a little boy sitting on the sidewalk.
The little boy was playing with a pile of sh*t. Curious, the 2LT walked over to the little boy and asked him "Why are you playing with a pile of sh*t?" The little boy replied "I'm building an NCO". The 2LT, amused by this, ran back to the company to get his captain. Upon returning to the little boy, who was still playing with the pile of sh*t, the Captain asked "Son, what are you doing?" The little boy looked up at him and said " I'm building an NCO". The captain being equally amused insisted that they return and get the 1SG. When the three returned the little boy, still playing with his pile of sh*t, was asked by the 1SG "Son, what are you doing?" The little boy again replied "I'm building and NCO". "Why are you building an NCO?" asked the 1SG. The little boy paused and responded "Because I don't have enough sh*t to build an officer"
Military jokes. Army, Navy, Air Force and Marines jokes