Jindy,
This argument about being a 'Returned Serviceman' versus a stay-at-home has been the subject of much angst amongst the ex-Service community in Australia and New Zealand. I'm a reasonbly patient person and have spent many hours over the years on 'engagement' activities to get the Air Power message across. I am also a published historian, drawing on personal recollections and offical archives, so I am used to dealing with old servicemen.
But to be confronted by some of crimson-faced buffer, looking like a Walrus, talking of 'fizzers' and 'the Glass House' and what some wee-soaked WO said in the NAAFI at RAF Middleton-on-the-Wold in Nineteen Canteen, who is then critical of the Air Force of today (and alludes that medals are too easily given) fails to gain my respect. He would have been a prat 50 years ago, and time hasn't been particularly forgiving! Several years ago I had lunch at the In and Out Club in St James's,as a guest of a US Embassy official. At the bar I was introduced to a middle-aged 'Flt Lt'. He was a bit evasive about his branch and service history, and it was only later that I learned, quite by chance, that he was an ex VR(T) Officer. He had been clearly 'bigging' it up at the In and Out, and exploiting it for commercial gain (he was in the financial services industry, selling pensions, or some-such). If he had been honest with me - and others, clearly - that he was a VR(T) officer, he would have gained my respect (I'm an ex ATC cadet, and proudly so). Instead, he came across as what our Army colleagues call a 'Walt'. There seemed to be a number of them hanging out at the Rag; perhaps the entry criteria is less descriminating...
Back on topic. I think that we all agree that the RAF Club will need to change and diversify to survive (and good luck to it). But the core, the ethos, has to be the support for members who are serving or retired officers. The problem is squaring that with having to run a multi-million pound business in central London. Not an easy task.