Back on 2001, I used to get on alright with our SWO, and was having a coffee with him in the mess one lunchtime, when he told me he was posted. Very quietly, he added that we were soon to have a female SWO.
There is a brief interlude, whilst I spent 3 months at sea, a little time at Bagram, and then about 6 weeks leave. I then return to the mess, sporting lengthy sideburns.
Having a beer with a friend, I am approached by a short serious looking bloke, who tells me my sideburns are outrageous.
'I know - there 'frickin' cool aren't they'
'They need a good couple of inches taken off them'
'Chill out, who do you think you are, the 'frickin' SWO or someone?'
'I am the Station Warrant Officer, and I'm telling you those sideburns need a trim'
Lengthy swig of lager by both parties......
'Look mate, I don't know who you are but your beginning to get on my nerves now. Why don't you just 'frick' off?'
Notice drinking partner turning blue behind him......
'I beg your pardon....'
'Look mate, everyone knows the SWO is a bird. Now do one!'
Glint of a smile by short serious looking individual, more vivid colours coming from drinking partner....
'Ah, allow me to introduce myself, WO [female sounding first name], the Station Warrant Officer'.
'Ah....'
'Ah...indeed Sarge. Sideburns, razor... go. I'll see you in the morning'
To be fair, I trimmed my sidies [he did check], he saw the funny side of it and was posted within 3 months, only for the old SWO to return. When I related the story to the old SWO he laughed for days.