Dear Sheik Wayne Bin MU
Great news. The 2022 World Cup will be held in Qatar, the heart of football in the Middle East since 22 December 2010.
Now that Qatar have secured two sets of goal posts and a white line making machine we are anxious to put together the team of diehard professionals that will make this event the huge success that it deserves to be.
Given your liking for shagging around, spitting and foul language, the Qatari Football Association would like to employ you as an ambassador who properly represents everything that Qatar loves about football.
Money is no object so as soon as you have a few days free from your intensive training regime perhaps you could come down here and spend a few days living it up in the Qatari disco and nightlife world.
There is nothing they like more here than a bit of binge drinking, roudy and abusive singing followed by some chucking up in the streets and a few good natured brawls. At least the supporters that are able to come here will be able look forward to finding out if they will be allowed to leave at the end of their visit.
You'll be 37 by then and if your performance in any critical match is anything to go by will be well past your sell by date so this could be the perfect opportunity for you to add to your remarkable portfolio.
What a great day for the beautiful game!