Dear wannabes
Just a quick heads up in support of the "parents" side of this argument. There seems to be a pervading assumption that a generation of parents will find themselves living in a trailer or cardboard box, having naively been pursuaded by the fruit of their loins that they should remortgage the family home beyond any ability to repay such a debt, in support of said childs worthy ambitions.
Whilst it is true that we leap with joy at the prospect of supporting the decisions our progeny make, that aren't likely to involve a a visit from the local constabulary, we have over the last 18 years or more learned a thing or two when it comes to children and financial acumen. Now don't misunderstand me, we know what a haemorrhage you have been on our wallets for the best part of two decades. From those shopping carts full of nappies and premium priced tiny jars of baby food, through clothes that lasted 25 minutes and toys that lasted even less. School fees that would have supported the foreign debt repayments of a small nation. Driving lessons, cars, university, holidays, allowances etc. There has never been a despot in history that has manged to tax our income in quite the way you have.
Despite all of this we have still managed to hang on to the family home. Yes we have moved from time to time, and we have refinanced to provide us with the illusion of moving closer to the utopia of our eventual retirement. We have deluded ourselves that you will grow up and leave home to start a life of your own one day. Then the mortgage will be paid off, we can go on that world cruise, and all will be right with the world. Of course we know that is a dream that reality will likely shatter, but our real experience of life has provided us with a hardened sense of self preservation.
So, whilst we are always excited in encouraging you in your dreams and beliefs, particularly those that might actually one day result in you not being an endless drain on our resources, we are also not stupid. Long ago we learned to write off any realistic prospect of ever seeing the return of money we "loaned" you, although we live in hope. Likewise, whatever we may have told you, we were not going to make ourselves destitute on the altar of your dreams, however realistic, wild or fanciful.
Just to cap it off, I might remind you that you have just spent the last 5 years or so, assaulting and insulting us with your hormonally induced attitude, temper tantrums, irrationality, unreasonableness, uncooperative behaviour, laziness, unsanitary and slovenly behaviour, all wrapped up in a package of hatred and ire directed squarely at us for having the audacity to bring you forth into this world in the first place.
Now it would be easy to be lulled into a false sense of security, that this change in your behaviour and newfound desire to become a respectable member of society would be a worthy investment on our part, if we were to sacfrifice ourselves to this new and expensive religion. However nature provided that antidote to us during your recent teenage years. So whilst there may be other childrens parents that can afford such things, most of us can't. Because we still love you, and labour in our illusions that you might leave home one day, we will of course continue to support you and help in any way that we reasonably can. Those that worry that we have somehow lost all sense of reason and self presevation, should set their minds at rest. It might sometimes appear that way, but we haven't!
Love,
Mummy and Daddy.