For your Entertainment
Gents
Found this on Rum Ration.. (To the tune of Ernie - The fastest milk cart in the west - U tube it if you're too young to remember)
Pertinent to Royal Naval Aviation and not any of you RAF Land-Lubber types*
(*Stand fast the Tame Crabs)
ERNIE (HE FLEW THE SLOWEST PHANTOM IN THE WEST)
You could hear the tyres a bursting as he careered across the deck
You could hear the goofers laughing as he stumbled from the wreck
He flew into the circuit with his wings upon his chest
His name was Ernie, EEEEEEEEERRRRNNNMEEEEE,
and he flew the slowest Phantom in the west
Now Ernie loved a Wren a lovely lass named Sue
She worked down the road at Lilstock Range, she was only twenty two
They said she was too good for him, she was haughty, pride and chic
But Ernie took his missiles there, three times every week
His name was Ernie, EEEEEEEEERRRRNNNIIEEEEEE,
and he flew the slowest Phantom in the west
She said she'd like to have a flight, he said right oh sweetheart
And she gazed at him in wonder as he raised his undercart
Would you like it straight and level, or at aeros have a crack
She said "Ernie I'd be happy if you rolls me on me back
His name was Ernie, EEEEEEEEERRRRNNNHEEEEEE,
and he flew the slowest Phantom in the west
But Ernie had a rival, an evil looking swine
He was swarthy from down the road, the boss of 809
When he threw it over the shoulder, she knew a longing dread
She was at a loss with his medium toss, and she nearly lost her head
His name was Ernie, EEEEEEERRRRNNNMEEEEE,
and he flew the slowest Phantom in the west
Now Ernie would not stand for this 'Enoughs enough" he said
And in the bar that evening he cornered poor old Fred
You've poked around her quadrant hut, and had your evil fun
We'll fight for her tomorrow man to man in one v one
His name was Ernie, EEEEEEEEERRRRNNNIIEEEEEE,
and he flew the slowest Phantom in the west
They took off the next afternoon, just after half past four
Full twenty minutes they battled on, and still there was no score
Then Fred pulled even tighter, he gave it his all
And Ernie shoved in rudder, and stoofed in off a stall
His name was Ernie, EEEEEEEEERRRRNNNIIEEEEEE,
and he flew the slowest Phantom in the west
Ernie did not want to die, he was only twenty eight
But now he's gone for ever, flying circles in the wait
Yet is he in a better place, in that airy fairy land
Where the flying programme always works, and Commander (Airs) are banned
His name was Ernie, EEEEEEEEERRRMNNIMEEEEE,
and he flew the slowest Phantom in the west
For a woman's needs are many fold, and Sue she married
Ted And strange things happened on their wedding night
As they lay in their bed Is that the wind a whistling through the leaves and the dry rot
Or Ernie’s ghostly Phantom returning to the slot
They won't forget old Ernie, EEEEEEEEERRRNNNMEEEEE,
and he flew the slowest Phantom in the west