SOPs
To Bucket and Spade
You've certainly got the right idea but my instinct says that you can do better for yourself.
Do not be a chameleon. Be B & S. Do not try to please the other pilot - please yourself. That way YOU are performing and if you get something wrong you will learn from it. If you do "it" to please the other pilot and get it wrong......well there's no answer to that.
But my main observation from your post is that "things" are done differently by different pilots and you are picking their best ideas. Well SOPs should eliminate the different ways tasks are carried out. Compliance with the SOP is the measure of the safe operation as tried and tested by the manufacturer and the management (and with a lot of help from the authorities.) I did think that we had moved away from individual preferences - which is a real problem for training departments - but obviously not.
Nevertheless, as I have said, your post shows that you are certainly the person for the flight deck. Reading through this thread it is sadly obvious that there are some out there who shouldn't be!