Emirates

[bobsback]

This made me laugh!

This following extract is taken from an American who moved to Dubai last year...

April 30th:
Just got transferred to work and live in beautiful Dubai , UAE! WOW!!! Now
this is a city that knows how to live!!! Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy
evenings. It's like New York City minus all the crocks, murderers, and
drunks. What a place! I watched the sunset from a deck chair on my beautiful
bedroom verandah. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home. I love it
here.

May 13th:
Really heating up. Got to 95 degrees today. Not a pro blem. Live in an air-
conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned car, and everything is fully
air-conditioned. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this. I'm
turning into a sun worshipper.

May 30th:
Had the backyard landscaped with tropical plants today around our lovely
pool. Lots of palms and rocks. What a breeze to maintain. No more mowing
lawn for me. Another scorcher today, but I love it here. Heat is no pro blem
at all.

June 10th:
The temperature hasn't been below 95 all week even during the night. How do
people get used to this kind of heat? At least today it's kind of windy
though. But getting used to the heat is taking longer than I expected.

July 15th:
Fell asleep by the pool. Got 3rd degree burns over 90% of my body. Missed 5
days of work. What a dumb thing to do in this lovely city. I learned my
lesson though. Got to respect the ol' sun in a climate like this.

July 20th:
Kitty (our cat) sneaked into the car when I left for the office. By the time
I got to the hot car for my lunch break, Kitty had died and swollen up to
the size of a shopping bag and stank up the $60,000 Audi. I told the kids
that she ran away. The car now smells like Wiskettes and cat ****. I learned
my lesson though. No more pets in this heat.

July 25th:
The wind sucks. It feels like a giant #ucking hair dryer in here!!! And it's
hot as hell. The home air-conditioner died. The #ucking AC repairman charged
500 Dirhams just to drive over and tell me it was broken in #ucking Hindu
English or some language that I couldn't understand.

July 30th:
Air conditioner still broken. Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights
now because it is 7000 #ucking degrees inside. Bloody 2,000,000 Dirhams
house and we can't even go inside. Why did I ever come here? #uck the sun.
#uck the wind. #uck the freakin' ocean. And #ucking locals walk around
dressed in white tablecloths followed by little black female ninjas. #ucking
crazy town.

August 4th:
It's 114 ******* degrees today. Finally got the ol' air-conditioner fixed.
It cost 2,000 #ucking Dirhams and got the temperature down to 25, but the
#ucking humidity makes the house feel 30 #ucking Dubai degrees. Stupid
terrorist repairman. I hate this stupid #ucking place.

August 8th:
If another local wiseass cracks, 'Hot enough for you today?' I'm going to
#ucking whack him all the way back to his goddamn desert. #ucking Dubai ; by
the time I get to work with all that #ucking traffic and heat, the car's
radiator is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like a
baked cat!!!

August 9th:
Tried to run some errands today because it is #ucking Friday. Wore shorts
and sat on the black leather seats in my Audi. The seat was so #ucking hot I
thought my ass was on fire. I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the
back of my legs and my ******* ass. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried
ass, and a baked cat.

August 10th:
The weather report might as well be a #ucking recording. Hot, humid and
#ucking sunny. Hot, humid and #ucking sunny. Hot, humid and #ucking sunny.
It's been too hot to do anything for 2 damn months and the weatherman dude
wearing the #ucking white tablecloth on TV says it might really warm up next
week. Does it ever rain in this damn #ucking place? What is next, a #ucking
hell freezing over wave?

August 14th:
WELCOME TO HELL!!! Temperature got to 120 today. Now the air-conditioner' s
gone in my
#ucking Audi. The #ucking Audi serviceman said, 'Hot enough for
you today?' #uck him and #uck Audi. My wife had to spend the 7,000 Dirham to
bail my ass out of jail for assaulting that stupid #ucking jingly bastard
wiseass. #uck Dubai ! What kind of a sick demented ******* idiot would want
to live in this **** hole?

August 15th: (Independence Day ?)
#uck this place.....I am off back to New York ........