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One day I spied an ad in the morning paper looking for a pilot so I submitted a resume and was surprised when I was called for an interview at a medical clinic. There were two other candidates amongst the patients and I could tell by their watches that they were Air Force. I found out that one was a Hercules pilot and the other a Caribou pilot so I had little chance and jobs were scarce. I was rewarded with disdain when they learned I was an ex Army aviator but I was called in first. There conducting the interview was the pudgy little Jewish Doctor Eddelstein. who was about my age.
"I'd wager that he was not successful in squiring the ladies." thinks I as I cunningly devised a plan to secure the job which entailled flying a doctor in Eddelstein's employ from Walgett to Lightning Ridge every day in a Piper Arrow.
The interview was going OK when I purposfully let it slip that I lived amongst the hosties and they would be unhappy at missing the rogering roster of the Duke and sure enough he blurted out that the job involved regular trips to Sydney and he giggled excitedly as he imagined himself as the Dukes right hand man in the art of the hostie romp.
The tide had turned in my favour for sure.
He tried as he might to entice me to take the job, "I have a Lambourgini ... and,..and ... a flat at Coogee Beach," he blubbered. I let out some more line and then "Well now! What about pay?" says I.
I was cockly now as I tapped into his uncharacteristic generousity. I had aced the job , and, as I strode out past the two Air Force professionals I proudly suggested that they piss off and maybe they should take my lawn mowing job.... and especially the address on Oceanic ... he he he..that of the old tart.
It was a slack job and suitable quarters were hard to find in Walgett but I secured a dusty, noisy little flat furnished with a matress and some boxes upon which was a radio.
The doctor who worked for Eddelstein was none other than Dr John O'Gorman , an ex Australian Wallabies rugby player with a cute Mexican wife Juanita.
I'd fly him to Lightning Ridge every day to a clinic manned by a tough, non ladylike , hairy legged nurse who cut and polished opals out the back of the clinic. Most people lived underground in a room hollowed out in their opal mines to escape the heat. It was a wild place governed by the code of the west thereby providing a steady supply of wounded miners at the surgery.
There were occasional charters out to Western Queensland for sheep and cattle agents and the landing areas were usually dried salt pan lakes. And hot! Bloody hot! Rough air, dry thumping air.
Back in my Walgett flat one evening I recieved a phone call from Dr John. "Come up to the house," he invited , "we are having a party. "
In polished riding boots and mock oilskin pants I arrived at the house and was led in to a very small party. Three people, all pleasantly drunk, the doctor, his wife and a stunningly beautiful blonde lady in a fur coat.
"A little better setup than the old trollop in Coogee." thinks I.
The ladies wanted to dance so I obliged. And close too...much to my pleasure as the lady cuddled up and cooed in my ear. The docs child was at a baby sitter so they retired early for a bone session leaving the godess sighing contentedly as she pawed over my pantherlike body.
"Take me to the pub for some excitement," she said tongue exploring my ear. I couldn't refuse but I warned her of the ruffians and wild clientelle downtown in that grotty bar but she remained steadfast.
The place went silent as we entered , the dashing dandy and the countess in the fur coat.
I looked about .. we were the only ones not wearing a large hat ... and we certainly were the only ones with a full set of teeth.
There were sheep shearers, railway men , labourers who humped wheat all day and lots of abbo's.
The barmaid asked if we were in the right place as the mumbling turned to smart comments with learing stares. The abbo's stirred and moved closer for a better look.
I strutted confidently and answered "It is indeed my sweet" as a blush swept over her twenty pound face.
The white wine we were served was an affront to the civilized world.
"You look nervous," my temptress whispered,my Tzarina, "I like excitement." At this she glided in front of me and slowly opened her fur coat .. just for me.
Lord Thunderin' Jesus .. there is a GOD!
Naked. Starkers. Heavenly .. pert little ski jump titties .. like little puppies noses .. tight curly blonde well manicured bush...
I had impure thoughts.
We left breathlessly for my little flat in the Jaguar ....
We bent our backs to the passionate strains of the night.
We were having breakfast from the menu of the Karma Sutra when I spied the time ... "Hell! I exclaimed, "I have to fly a charter in fifteen minutes and the customer pick up is in Coonamble" ... I dressed in a blur. It sure didn't take her long to dress now did it?
On the way to the airport she 'fessed up that she was married and that her husband had cheated on her and her mission was to punish him.
Successful mission I'd say.
I was caught in the crossfire but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. Oh! The sacrifice.... an Aviators life can be hell.
I did a quick walkaround and entered the cockpit of the Arrow with my petite, delicate bird perched upon the wing making sure I spied the lily. I waited for the regular F27 to land and it taxiied in and the steps were rolled up to the door down which came the passengers.
"My God!," she exclaimed "my husband". And down the steps came the large ex Wallaby rugby player , now a famous lawyer in Sydney.
I half pushed her off the wing towards the Jaguar , started the airplane engine and ever so gallantly , I fled.