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I am cautiously proud of the support given to the US by Australia for the purpose of ridding the world of an arsehole.
A little history.
The US clearly saved Australia from being over-run by the Japs in WW2. I had some uncles die fighting on the Kokoda Trail prior to taking Port Moresby ..... Australia was on the horizon and soon to be under the "Rising Sun".
I, nor my brother knew that we had been abandoned by our mother at around two years old. We didn't know because we were being raised by my Grandmother who we called Mum. A stranger visited occasionaly who I later got to call Dad, but I didn't know why.
One morning, before dawn we were awoken and with bags packed we were off to the Railway Station where I was fascinated by the "live" steam train that was to take us on a two day trip North to live with my Dad and new stepmother. We were black from coaldust and tried sleeping on a hard leather bench. A soldier came aboard and upon seeing our discomfort, put his great - coat on the luggage rack and made a bed for us. It was comfortable and cozy , he was my hero.
Arrival up North was not a pleasant affair. My new stepmother greeted us with a look on her face that looked like someone was holding a dog turd under her nose. I knew we were not welcome. I found out that my Grandmother was ill and was soon to die. It was a sad day. And then things got worse. My brother died while getting his tonsils out.
So off to boarding school for me ..... turned out to be a pleasant experience even though we had to go to Chapel every day and we wore uniforms. The Brotherhood of St Barnabas. We were nearly self sufficient with our small dairy and hog pens.We had about six horses and we all learned to ride. We rotated through a roster of milker , hog slopper, choir and the most hated, that of server. We had to dress up in little frilly gowns and gong a bloody bell at the appropriate time during the latin moaning of the monks.
Boy Scouts was a hoot as they trucked us to Magnetic Island where we had a bay to ourselves. Fishing, surfing, war games ...life was fun and I had a lot of friends.
For school holidays, I would talk someone into taking me home with them ... I hated my home.
So I got to go stay on cattle and sheep ranches and hunting and adventure.
I was also at the top of the class in Grade Ten. Another bombshell. My Dad couldn't afford more boarding school but had arranged a job for me in a bank. Well ! ****! How long do you think I lasted there...coming to work with black eyes from Rugby and floozies phoning all the time and stalking my gorgeous frame.
I find out now that my Dad is putting himself through Med School.... I'm on my own.
So here I am in the Army. I was bartering my own judgement for the pleasure of being surrounded by comrades.I graduated as a second Lieutenant and while all the graduates had their rank pinned on at the Gala ball, usually by girlfriend, wife or mother, I was pinned by a floozie.
The war in Vietnam had taken some dangerous turns and was not going well for the US and we knew it. Australia wanted out and it took a change of government to do it, but it was a slow process. We were now bored and we flew so seldom that we usually went a little crazy given the oppurtunity. We were the masters of low flying, especially at night. These dangerous tactics were never used in combat.
I had the old One Eighty flat out as I skimmed the surface of the Hawksbury River. I approached Dangar Island so time to pull up...and I did. WHAP!WHAP! Also a spongy jolt that nearly put me through the winshield... SPARKS...it lurched drunkenly as I struggled for control....it was still flying so I struggled back to base. The prop had hit one wire and then it burned a scar under the fuselage, another wire had hit the tire and slid up the strut before breaking and the third took the top of the tail off.
I had a feeling there would be some paperwork coming my way.
More to follow....over
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Duke Elegant
Joined: Nov 28, 2002
Posts: 260 Posted: 2003-04-12 18:41
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COURT MARTIAL
Other pilots had had similar infractions and the punishment usually consisted of a loss of seniority. That's pretty savage when you are already at the bottom of the officer ranks with a war shutting down.
I could have legal council but I opted for an Army Lawyer who stunk of gin and whose eyes were way too close together. He was a moron....perfect.
I was marched in by Lt Tub Matheson and I laid my sword on the table in front of two majors, two colonels and a General, The Judge Advocate General in fact. They all had the big red noses earned by years of Army service.
I recognized one of the colonels ... The Beekeeper we called him. He could often be seen crouching on the lawn with a magnifying glass bleating "It's one of mine... one of mine." He raised bees. He was ugly too. His ears looked like wingnuts and I had seen better hair on bacon.
I stood ramrod straight at attention in all my splendour.
"Wootenant, you have been charged with conduct contoowary to good order and militawy discipwin..in that you wied in the wogbook of your aircwaft ... birdstwike you say...pweposterous suh, how do you pweed, suh?
Tub knew it was coming and out of the corner of my eye I caught his wry smile. I paused..then
Says I
"Well you see sir, this little bird was sitting in this power line , see ..."
Some officers had trouble choking back but the beekeeper was furious.. it was known I had done impressions of him at the mess much to everyones delight.
You, suh, are to be dismissed from the Armed Forces .... and so on.
It turned out that they accepted my resignation so I got all my pension back with which I bought a Jaguar and went surfing and mowing lawns for a year.
I was yet to embark on an adventure of a lifetime.
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Howlin' Mad Murdock
Joined: Apr 03, 2003
Posts: 4
From: hell and back again...
Posted: 2003-04-13 02:17
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Duke - thankyou. Thankyou for inspiring us, entertaining us, and reminding us of the savage beauty of life. You have a wonderful way of weaving a story that makes this thread my personal favorite. I salute you for your courage, and admire that in the face af adversity you have chosen not only to overcome it, but to do so smiling - sharing with us some very personal stories of better or at least crazier days.
I hope that as you take these trips down memory lane, it gives you the inspiration, the energy, and the great big smile that you bring to all of us who admire you so.
Once you're back up to full speed, which I pray is soon, I want to be the first to place an order for the book you're going to write.
In the words of another great man, Winston Churchill: "If you're going through hell... keep going."
Godspeed, Duke.
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182driver
Joined: Jul 14, 2002
Posts: 73 Posted: 2003-04-13 05:43
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Mmmmmmm....Floozies.
I enjoy your stories Duke, and wish you all the best. I laughed out loud at the description of your grandma with a turd under her nose, and smiled when you spoke of your gorgeous frame. Does that make me a poof? No, of course not.
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[ This Message was edited by: 182driver on 2003-04-13 05:59 ]
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