That is interesting.
To the OP, well done for admitting something's not quite right. As others have said, find some work support and your doc might be able to assist in finding a psychologist. Do you have a CISM contact?
Depending on how severe your mental health is, you may be able to manage it without medication. Appropriate talk therapies and exercise have been found to be more beneficial in many cases.
Reasons? You're not being numbed by the medication (depending), you retake control by engaging in something that is good for you. Rhythmic non competitive cardio (cycling, swimming, walking etc) plus a resistance workout has had many positive outcomes.
Your health and future happiness is priority now, your career might have to wait a bit.