To the OP, my hat's off to you for a stupendous post. Bravo sir!
In this and other guises, I've been a PPRuNer since its inception and, throughout those 2½ decades, there have been some posts of distinction and this (imho) is one of them; it being all of factual and humorous.
One can but hope that the mods will choose to make it a 'sticky', for the enlightenment of any whom might be bedazzled by the big shiny jets to be had in various sandpits and yet foolish enough to consider joining them. With a post such as this, they can't say that they haven't been warned.