I'd highly disagree with leaving out "of the field", that's a dangerous assumption IMHO, what if you've simply not registered the fact that they're giving a different key location or the radio dropped for a second whilst saying it? Also don't drop the feet part, once again this is for clarity, if you're hearing someone with a choppy radio how do I know you're talking about feet of altitude and weren't mentioning a distance in meters like visibility or something? There are good reasons we use feet for altitude and meters for visibility and saying Feet or Meters means that even with a garbled transmission I still know what that 3,500 was referring to.
Also I just timed myself saying both of these at the same cadence, 10 seconds for top and 12 seconds for bottom, I'll gladly listen to a couple of extra seconds for the sake of clarity over brevity.
The problem you're really describing though isn't brevity of transmissions but superfluous transmissions which I agree Pilots need to be mindful of but ultimately I think it can be dangerous as well to tell Pilots they talk too much as they may over compensate the opposite direction too. The biggest issue in what you're describing here isn't even the 2 talkative Pilots or lack of brevity, it was the third that decided to take off knowing that there was inbound traffic on long final that was head to head with them that didn't know what they were intending to do, that's rushing and impatience that could have lead to an accident.