@First Officer, don't be too hard on yourself. They don't let us take the aircraft home, so it is difficult to practise things such as memory drills in the actual cockpit. And memory drills need to be regularly physically practised to keep the neural pathways open in the brain. Musicians can practise their scales or the piece they are working on at home in their own time, but we have to do it in our armchair without the cockpit around us.
I asked if I could use the cardboard bomber that a previous company had to practise my drills in my own time after hours, but they refused me permission.
So we are limited to using a small cockpit poster, or doing touch drills in the cruise - neither of which are very satisfactory.
If it was up to me I would have pilots practising all the memory drills several times each at every SIM visit.