I think you're taking the extreme examples and as it clearly states on the website you are responsible for all your TAX, NI and pension so I think your friend's son is confusing turnover with income, which are vastly different things! Or does his business not cost anything to run?
I'm surprised you didn't ask your mate Walsh to set him up with a job or one of your Swire chums.
And the COVD staff earn an equivalent of just over 25k a year as I've spoken to some of our CC who have applied to it.